If you were married and someone you used to be totally taken with (and had a brief romantic relationship with) suddenly wanted to be friends with you...what would you do? Would you accept their friendship...though you knew deep down they wanted so much more but would not act on it because of your marriage? yes or no and WHY?
2007-09-04 20:32:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In my opinion, if the other person wants more, they will eventually act on it. It could be in very subtle ways, or it could be in very obvious ways. In any event, having any sort of relationship with someone who has a romantic interest in you while you are married to someone else is just a disaster waiting to happen.
The question you really need to ask yourself is, "How will (your spouse) feel about this?". The other question you have to ask yourself is, "How would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot and (your spouse) had someone wanting the same thing from them?". If they won't like it or if you wouldn't like it, then it's not only a bad idea but it's wrong.
2007-09-04 20:41:36 · answer #1 · answered by Christopher C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to rekindle the friendship, you are going to rekindle the flame. Leave temptation alone and focus on your marriage and your family, not an old relationship that could jeopardize your new one. You didn't specify if you were happy in your marriage or if this old flame is married as well. While all might sound innocent and fun, you know very well what could happen and the consequences. Make the right decision and weight your options. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
2007-09-05 03:41:29 · answer #2 · answered by PrincessAsh23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was not yet married when this happened in my life, but I was dating the guy I married. A guy I had totally fallen for years before was interested in me, and we went out a few times while my bf was out of town. He wanted more, and even asked me what I would do if he tried to kiss me. I told him I would turn and let him kiss my cheek. He told me he respected that.
I was in love with my boyfriend of almost 2 years, and acting on a crush I had had years before was not worth screwing things up in a good relationship. When I was married to him I had a similar opportunity, and chose the same answer. I loved my husband, and fulfilling some crush with some guy I didn't know as well as my spouse wasn't worth hurthing lots of people.
He and I are divorced now, btw, after almost 15 years together, but I do not regret my choices.
2007-09-05 03:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by navy_brat913 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love your partner, leave the past in the past.. knowing in advance that this person will be wanting more than friendship is a red flag right there..
The only thing this friendship if you encourage it will bring you is hurt, frustration and guilt..
Let it go.. and move ahead..
2007-09-05 03:38:43 · answer #4 · answered by Rebel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, there are reasons why things don't work out. Those reasons are still there. I would never put my marriage in jeopardy that way. I would tell them that I have moved on, and they need to do the same, out of respect for your spouse that would be the best thing to do.
2007-09-05 03:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by ladyhawk8141 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO because it would be disrespecting my husband and our marriage. Besides if my husband ever starts being friends with his old flings and in addition Im a very jealous person, he would be sleeping in the couch for a very very very long time.
2007-09-05 03:39:35 · answer #6 · answered by lvchic_702 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO. If he just wanted to be friends and that was it I would say yes, but there will always be tension there if one of you wants more, whether you or he acts on it or not. I would say it is great to know how they are doing and just leave it at that.
2007-09-05 03:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It had happened to me, i just ignored it, didn't return the call and email. I have a wonderful marriage, no one can break in. If you are attempting , you should ask yourself why.
2007-09-05 03:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by Discovery 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, of course not. It's just not appropriate. As a married woman, you need to avoid ANY suggestion of impropriety.
2007-09-05 09:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you drop yourself in this situation you never can help yourself and this illegal realationship will grow into a habit and be sure if you do this your husband will do it too accidental. you know if you give s.th by right hand you will get exactly the same by left hand. be foresighted
2007-09-05 03:56:37 · answer #10 · answered by asal.s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋