tell me what you think
1- really bad
2-not too bad
3- ok
4-good
5-great
My love for you will never end, my heart will never stop beating for you,
You are my soul my life, and the beat of my heart, every beat my heart makes it’s for you my love,
I may not show my love for you always and I may not say it as much as I should
but tonight under this full moon with a white rose in one hand and with your hand in my other, down on my keens I say with all my heart you are my one true love, and I love you.
My darling there is no other like you in this world for me, you are my one and truly, my love with this kiss I give to you my heart, soul and everything that I am. I LOVE YOU
2007-09-04 20:23:00 · 7 answers · asked by Luckey_101 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I give it a 2...sorry, but it's a love "prose", not a love poem. Why? Because it reads like a love letter...where are the poetic devices? You're "telling us" when you should be "showing us". You could have said, "I hold the moon in my hand as the stars shine in your eyes" or "my heart beats in tune with the music of the stars"...instead you 'told' us what you were doing and described the items as if they were on a grocery list. It's not your desire or feelings that are missing, it's your lack of poetic description.
Remember, prose tells, poetry shows...poetry must paint the images from the inside as well as the outside, and you can't do that by just writing a paragraph of emotional description.
try again...keep writing
2007-09-09 06:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4
2007-09-05 00:00:24 · answer #2 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty deep il give u an 8 minus 3 for it
2007-09-05 00:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by aditi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i admire my guitar as much as i admire intercourse with my female. i'm no longer shy or prematurely with love. i'm slightly extra sneaky with it yet to no longer the element the place it won't get observed. Libra solar Pisces Moon
2016-10-18 00:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its nice but a bit on the off beat. i rate it 3.2
Best of Luck
2007-09-04 20:30:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i rate it 4 and where you wrote:
I may not say it as much as I should......
I think you should make it :
I may not say it as much as I should do
cos it sounds better (levels it out)
2007-09-04 20:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by ĴỂņŇỴ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i wil giv 4....make it red rose....
2007-09-04 21:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋