2007-09-04 17:41:29 · 32 answers · asked by Kate H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are just "unhappy" you need to work to try to fix what is wrong in your marriage and see if the two of you together can "fall in love" again.. perhaps see a counselor..
If you are miserable, abused, the home is in turmoil, constant fighting, etc.. leave..
2007-09-04 17:45:21 · answer #1 · answered by Wildflower 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Children suffer mostly in and unhappy relationship, even if the parents are not fighting in front of the kids they can still know what is going on,
It would not be a good idea to stay just for the kids.
I left my husband after a long time of being together i didn't think that i would be able to survive with out him, and it was the unknown that keep me there,
as i meet my husband when i was young and never lived by myself,
It is hard at first when you do make up your mind to leave but as time goes on it becomes easier,
2007-09-06 21:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Figure out why you are unhappy. Can it be fixed? Does your husband even know you are unhappy?
I think people are too quick to leave when things didn't turn out quite the way they thought they would, or when they think the grass would be greener on the other side of the matrimonial fence. Often, unhappiness has little to do with the marriage and more to do with the self-esteem of the person who is considering leaving. I'm not suggesting you stay if he is a total jerk, is violent with you or the kids or is a criminal. But think about everyone involved and get some counseling before you simply jump ship.
2007-09-04 17:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by RayeKaye 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I suppose you should stay for the children. You told your husband you would be his 'til death, whether you loved him or not. You cannot back out now just because you are unhappy or don't feel like being married to him anymore. How many marriages would there be if people just quit when they were unhappy? You have a duty to work on your marriage...or not, but you made a commitment to each other...that is, children or no children.
"god does not want anyone to be unhappy". Don't listen to lostmindinproductions when he says this. He obviously hasn't read much of the Bible. The Bible also says divorce, except for adultery, is a sin. I hope you make the right choice. Allow me to point out that two unhappy parents is much better than one happy one (unless it is so bad that there is real abuse going on--but it sounds like you are just unhappy). God bless.
2007-09-04 17:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by wizball 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, my parents got divorced about a year ago when i was 13, and I hate them for it. Everyone says "Oh, but now they're happy, so be happy for them" But here's the thing: they're miserable. I heard my mom calling the suicide hotline the other day, and my dad can't pay any of the bills for his apartment because he has to pay my mom so much. You won't be happy, because your kids won't be happy. Women always get the better deal in court, so your husband will be miserable and might not see the kids. That will make them sad. At such a young age, it might be devistating. My half-sister, who is 25, still hasn't gotten over the divorce between her parents, but that's only because she was young. I think if you can hold out for a few more years, say, until your 5 year old is 16-18, and understands the situation, then you can split. Your kid's lives will be so much happier then.
2007-09-04 18:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by borgel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want the children to stay in an unhappy home. Because no matter how young they are they will pick up on this. Just make sure you are leaving him for the right reasons because you don't give those here. Whatever your decisions don't stay for the children because they will suffer if you constantly argue and fight. If you can't get counseling or someting or communicate and try and make your marriage work then maybe they will be better off if you are apart. Good luck to you.
2007-09-04 17:46:44 · answer #6 · answered by Darkchild 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know it isn't easy to make decisions like this, but never do things for the kids sake. I grew up in a family where my mom and dad fought all of the time. I was so sick and tired of hearing them screaming and yelling. It was more emotional stress on me and my 2 sisters. I could hardly wait to leave and when I turned 18 I did. I just felt sorry for my two sisters that I left behind. Through it all, I never dared ask my parents for any advice or anything. I felt a lost soul growing up. I really did grow up the hard way, without a loving family. I would have rathar lived with one parent and visited the other and them be civilized than all of the conflict and feeling like we were the cause of it all.
2007-09-04 17:55:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What people dont understand is that love is one of those things that had to be rekindled over time. People give up to easily on marriage because they expect to have that same loving feeling they started out with. People change and so will the emotions.
You cant expect to be in love forever like the movies, what you have to understand is that you made a commitment. A successful marriage requires you to fall in love with your spouse a dozen times over. Unless you are in a situation where he treats you bad I think its selfish to just think about your self and walk away. What about your children? I mean you should sit down and talk to your husband and make him aware of your feelings. Try every avenue before just giving up. Now if in the end you still feel like why bother then walk dont give up without a fight though though.
Remember those vows and besides what you do not only will impact you but your children as well. Good luck and blessings.
2007-09-04 17:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Iamscaredformylife 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's always easier to break than to join. You say that you don't love your husband (father of three kids from you) and wish to leave him. Are you sure the next one (after you leave the present) will be congenial to you? You say you are unhappy. Who else is responsible for your being unhappy except yourself?
With this nature you shall not be ever happy. Your husband is not the problem. Your fickle mindedness and 'expectations from uncertain future' are the very cause of your unhappiness. Mend them, you will be happy with the present one.
2007-09-04 17:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by sv 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a question you have to answer for yourself. If you choose to leave, make sure you are ready. Have a plan, don't just walk out. If you are unhappy, you will probably just become more and more miserable and your children will pick up on this. It could make them unhappy. They are too young to understand what is going on, so be careful. If you leave, make sure they understand that it has nothing to do with them. If you want to talk more - email me.
2007-09-04 17:48:20 · answer #10 · answered by Connie G 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋