I'm 18 & my parents have me @ a 12 curfew rite now. Do u hav ne advice on how i can approach them to extend it

Question

I hate having to answer to my parents all the time. My curfew is 9 on wkdays and usually 12 on wkends and Im n college. Well i was 20 min late from bein home @ 5 to hav a FAMILY DINNER. I was late bcuz i was visiting my dad. My step dad & my mom freakd out on me saying y can't i jus listen to them and follow the RULES? I told them that I dont go out and do drugs or drink or go out and hav crazy sex w/ evry girl i c. I askd them wat the worst thing i do is and they said that it was not bein on time. I think its ridiculous. Next month I will b 19. I askd if I will always hav a curfew while Im livin @ home & my parents said PROBLY. What can i do to make them let up on me. I almost hate comin home cuz then i kno that i gotta hear somethin stupid from them that im not n the mood to hear. I love em', but i need to hav more freedom than wat i hav. They r so restricting. Im not really able to move out bcuz of the money. How can I come up w/ a way to compromise w them? Ur advice is appreciated.

Answer 1

Tell them how you feel with out yelling or getting up set. Maybe if its possible next time to let them know in advance when you think you might be late, it might help them see that your trying to be on time but there are things happen that are out of your control. Tell them how you feel when you come home and they yell at you for being late when you were really trying to be on time. I know this sounds bad but see if you can make them feel bad by letting them know just how bad it makes you feel when they treat you like this, apologize a lot. Act very mature and sensible, no yelling or getting up upset, even if they do, it gives you power.

Answer 2

I would say at first you should show that you can "follow" their rules. After a few weeks of doing so, ask for more time on the weekends...or a weeknight, depending upon when the occasion is that you would like some extra time for. Parents feel that nothing good goes on at all hours of the night. It sux, I was there not too long ago, but you have to realize too, that your parents, whether you know it or not, wait up for you to make sure you come home safely. Therefore they want you home so they can get some sleep as well. They may also be doing it because they want you to realize that you need your sleep as well. You can't function well on little sleep...not for long anyway. Or maybe see if you can "bank" some hours two to three times a week. If you are home at 8 three nights during the week, maybe you can use those three hours during the weekend. Come home at 1am on Friday and 2am on Saturday...

Answer 3

Well, I am 50 years old and when I visit my parents -- I live by their rules. They don't have a curfew for me but I do have tasks and expectations.

Also, when I was 18 I moved out of the house and got a job. I worked my way through college and lived independently and by my own rules.

Finally, when people visit YOUR home - they have to live by your rules, even if it means doing the dishes after dinner.

Answer 4

I'm a parent of an 18 year old college student and from my point of view, I would need to see you follow my rules regularly even though you disagreed with them. Just knowing you are willing to abide by my rules would give me the motivation to let you have more freedom. In small increments of course.
With my son, I am more than willing to give him all the freedom he wants but I need to see and KNOW that he will be making good and correct decisions for himself first.
Kids your age don't seem to realize all the things you could do to reallly mess up your life. Parents are just worried. Perhaps calling ahead when you know you are going to be late will help. Good luck. It won't always be the way it is now.

Answer 5

You are under your parents roof. Like it or not they care and worry about you. At least you have concerned loving parents not many young adults have that. The only advice I can give is to do show them different ways you can be responsible like showing up on time for family events etc.. Once you have shown them you can be responsible have a discussion with them. Just be thankful you have loving concerned parents and your not living out on the streets. You can't just show up once or twice on time and have them think that your being responsible!!! They are just trying to prepare you for the real world.

Answer 6

You are allowed out until 9 on school nights and until 12 ( midnight?) on weekends? What are you complaining about? What the heck do you want to do out in the streets at 1am in the morning? Your parents have more sense then you are displaying here. For your own sake and welfare, listen to them.

Answer 7

If you don't like to have curfew then you should move out. it's their house and their rules. and since you know how they react to your being late, then the least you can do is call them if you're going to be late. also you can talk to them without being defensive and thinking that whatever they say is stupid.

Answer 8

Get your own place, then make the rules in your place. It's easy to say, "I'm grown", but it's harder to be grown. This is their way of keeping control in their home. Notice the word, "their" home? They do it because they can. Approaching them you be great but you can't get an attitude when thing don't really go your way, because it's "their" home. Sorry.

Answer 9

they kinda have you in a corner... its there house and if you want to live in it you have to go by there rules... but you need to talk to them about a compromise.. and or get a job and work toward getting your own place.. it wont take you that long.. lots of collage people work and go to school.. some do full time with both.. good luck

Answer 10

I would be happy with that.

My parents arnt even letting me move out to go to colg....
have to be home b4 10.
i cant date.
i cant talk to guys on the phone.
and tons of other stuff.

i feel like a 9year old..