What would u do if ur boyfriend still loves his deceased wife after 10 yrs. of being gone. but he loves me to

Answer 1

I think that a person can still love a deceased spouse, but still be in love with you. That person had a life, and memories that they will always cherish. And that does not mean that he loves you any less. If you were the first wife, and he just met someone else and never even thought about you, that would see a little odd too right?
Just accept that is part of his past, we all have one.

Answer 2

Can you say DOORMAT. There is absolutely no way she will ever respect you, much less love you, after you have allowed her to walk all opver you for 10 years. I think she is now seeing the error of her ways and wants the security she once had. It is time for you to MAN UP and lay down the law. You sir must make some significant demands before you allow her return. 1. The cheating must stop. It stops now and lasts for some time before she gets an invitation. 2. She shows some remorse for her Lying and Cheating. 3. She goes out of her way to try to make this up to you. 4. She figures out if there is any love there. IF NOT STAY AWAY ! 5. A written agreement in place that a recurrance of her cheating results in her leaving the house and relationship with NOTHING. 6. That she is starting over and you will not accept that you should allow her to hurt you again. Without love I would not even TALK about her coming back. There is no resolve without that. Her reasons for leaving are Bull Crap just as her request to come back. She needs to learn how good she had it and must pay some price for her crap. Her reasoning for wanting to come back does not include YOU. DO NOT ALLOW THIS. Tell the cheat to stay away unless she wants to live with YOU, forsaking all others. Right now it sounds like she just wants to return so her life is easier and she can continue her adulterous ways. DO NOT ALLOW THAT. She is gone and has not given you any reason to allow her back. Quit feeling sorry for her plight and get freaking angry for what she has done to you. PUT SOME LIMITS ON HER. If she is telling you she wants to come home but does not love you tell the b i t c h STAY AWAY. DO NOT ACCEPT THAT SHE CHEATED BECAUSE OF YOU. Grow some balls and get tough. Had you done that a LONG time ago this might have happened differently.

Answer 3

He will always love his wife and you cannot ask him do do otherwise. After all this time,her memory has become sorta "out of proportion" to her real life. You have to ask yourself if you can live with a ghost and the comparisons that are likely to occur between you and the deceased. You will never take her place but you can add to his life if thats what you want.....it is tough to compete with a memory.

Answer 4

I have always thought about this like if something would happen to me or my husband.I mean i think that if your spouse just died no matter how long it has been you are always going to love them.It would be different if you were divorced and they passed away.I mean he loved her and that is why he was with her there is nothing he could do to stop her passing.He will always love her but he also moved on and met you and he loves you to.I don't think I would want my hubby being alone rest of his life cause i passed away i would want him to fall in love again and get married.I would want him to have that someone special again.It sounds like you must be a special person to your hubby.His wife passed away and he found love again with you.

Answer 5

I would accept it. He would most likely still be married to the woman if she was still living. He has every right to still love his deceased wife but, he must temper that love knowing that he must move on. Life is for the living.

Answer 6

Face facts, you never really get over the death of a spouse, the love, pain and memories last the rest of your life. He has moved on with his life in spite of this, as all widows and widowers must eventually do and he has chosen to move on with you. If you believe that he loves you, why are you jealous of the memory of a dead woman. If you cannot stand the fact that he will always hold a place in his heart for her memory then you need to get a new boyfriend or grow up a little yourself. If he has a shrine to her and constantly speaks to her as if she were there or mistakenly calls you by her name, then he has a problem bigger than you need to try and deal with and you oughta be packing your bags and moving on yourself.

Answer 7

He will always love her. There isn't anything in this world that will change that. But that doesn't mean he cant go on to find love with you or someone else and be happy. But trying to change him, or expecting him to stop loving her is wrong. She's dead, she isn't competition, it is just silly to be jealous of a dead woman.

Answer 8

WELL OF COURSE HE IS GOING TO HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN HIS HEART FOR HIS PAST WIFE BUT THAT WONT CHANGE HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU! UR THE ONE HE LOVES NOW!! AND HIS WIFE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE BY HIM IN HIS MEMORY

Answer 9

Difficult one. It depends if he's obsessive about if. If he still hold her in his heart, that's normal. But if everything's about her, all the time, he might have an issue. When you love someone, it's hard to let them go. You might want to try couple's therapy.

Answer 10

you have nothing to do. just continue loving him. it's not like he's cheating on you. fact is, his wife is already gone. what is important is his life now. that he loves you now.. you can't compete with someone that is gone already... Show him that you love him so much...