Here's the info - My brother seems to be sabotaging his relationship. They were married since they were 16, when they had an unplanned pregnancy. For 10 years, they had a "descent" marriage with ups and downs. In the 11th year, they seperated, each going out with others. In their 12th year, they got back together and are now living together raising their two children (but still not remarried).
My SIL was having a hard time with her 30th birthday coming up a couple days ago... knowing how she has always begged and pleaded him to do something "romantic", even told him - buy me cheap flowers, rent a room, rent a love movie, anything ... and knowing her birthday was approaching, my mom and I called my brother on the sly, "do you have a cake?" (No) "Do you have a card? or note?" (No) "Did you get her a present?" (No)... He finally went to the store and bought a cake, but that was all.
I know he knew better... I knew he knows what to do to "build" his relationship...
2007-09-04 15:40:10 · 5 answers · asked by Wildflower 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know any lame brain idiot knows to get their wife SOMETHING for her birthday, especially the 30?... why did he not do it on purpose? Is he trying to sabatoge their relationship??? He's not cheating, but he's definately not trying either?
2007-09-04 15:41:18 · update #1
He could be in a rut and depressed. They need a rekindling of their relationship. Could you offer to watch the children for a weekend so they can go and be together?
2007-09-04 16:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right, he is not trying and for a reason. Sounds like he isn't interested in keeping the relationship together, either because he simply isn't interested, or he is just taking things for granted. If he can't do any better than this then the only choice for your SIL is to accept it and still try to find happiness in the little effort she receive, or she needs to move on.
2007-09-04 15:46:01 · answer #2 · answered by sweetone46530 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he just thinks that he HAS her and he shouldnt have to try....we all tend to get lazy in relationships that are longterm! all she can do is keep tellin him what she needs and wants,its up to him to do these things. if he does not,then she will most likely eventually leave him. sometimes men just dont get it.and nothing we do or say can change that.
I think of it like this,if you want something from someone,tell them but ALSO do it,if you want flowers,give your man flowers,SHOW him how to do these things and by doing so ,you also show him you care about him and that he deserves your love and time!then hopefully he will follow suit and return the "love"
2007-09-04 15:47:20 · answer #3 · answered by adc7492 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is stuck in a rut feeling sorry for himself and living a child like selfless life.
A dose of humility will change his perspective on life. Tell him to find humility himself before fate does it for him.
Other than that, keep out of his life. I am sure you have a life of your own to attend to.
2007-09-04 15:48:59 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is he lazy or is he stupid? Or sabataging?
2007-09-04 15:50:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋