Need advice on honesty?

Question

My husband and I have been married for two years. This past weekend one of my old friends from college texted me after not talking to him in probably 5 years, which was before I even knew my husband. I was out of town for work and little did I realize that over the course of the weekend this old friend and I ended up texting probably 150 times. I didn't realize it until I checked on my wireless account online. My husband and I have a family plan so if he logs online he'll see that I texted a particular # so many times. Needless to say, I want to sit down and tell him about it tonight. I feel sick to my stomach, but I know that I need to tell him so it doesn't freak him out when or if he sees it. Any advice on words to use to make it easier???? I don't want him to wonder if I cheated on him, cuz I didn't and won't, but I know it'll put strain on our marriage probably and I'm scared for that. I know honesty is always best but....... scary at the same time. Any words of wisdom?

My husband & I have been adding on to our house and he's doing all of the work so that has put stress on our relationship in the past few months so yah, I loved the attention. It was good to catch up with this friend of mine and most of the 150 messages over the course of 4 days were like 5 word sentences back and forth like you would on IM. On the one hand I know it's good to share the honesty with my husband but I worry he'll no longer trust me and want to leave and although our marriage has had it's moments (like all I'm sure) we were starting to have everything click.

Answer 1

If your husband truly trust you, he will understand. Especially if you tell him before he logs on and sees it. I would suggest you get your husband to meet this friend of yours and you all become friends. Usually once you are married, its a bad idea to have any single male friends. It only causes problems. just like you wouldnt want him to have any single female friends.
Even if the guy is married, it only needs to be communication between all three of you.

Answer 2

Well you should have told him to begin with. If you don’t have communication in your relationship then eventually it will fall apart. If he finds out by other means you cant blame him to think you did something wrong even if it was innocent. You are keeping a secret from him. Let him read them. Put your self in his shoes how would you feel if he done the same.

Other thing is if you had different phone plans would you still be doing it. Are you just worried that he can see what is being text. If you didn’t say anything that you don’t regret then don’t worry. You love the attention your old time friend gives you. You’re not getting that from your husband now. I think if you continue to get the attention from your friend later in life you may end up doing something with him. Something you will regret.

So why not help your husband with remodeling. Get involved with him doing this. Believe me you will get some attention from him. Some men love to see women with power tools it’s a turn on for them. Help him remodel. It might take more time getting the project done because watching you bend over with the sound of the power tool may drive him insane. He may want to put his power tool inside of you. give it a shoot. What do u have to loose nothing, but you will gain the attention you’re seeking or a lot more…hehe

Answer 3

Yes tell him so he won't suspect anything wrong was happening. College friends have lots to catch up on. How are you? What are you doing? Do you ever hear from Joe? What ever happend to Betty? Is your brother still in the Army? Did your sister ever marry that guy? I'll never forget that time the car broke down... 150 texts is a lot. But I can see how it can happen. Your husband will too. The fact that you are telling him instead of trying to hide it should be proof. But he may be checking the next few statements to see if there are more. He may also ask how this "Old College Friend" got your number.

Answer 4

150 text messages don't "just happen." Why on earth are you nervous about this? Unless some of the texts got a bit more personal than what you'd like to share with your husband. . . mmmmm? Better fess up now. Tell him you were catching up with an old friend and that you are sorry you just didn't call him and talk to him for 30 minutes. I suggest from now on you allow your husband to see all the text messages you send and receive. Secrets don't help a relationship grow.

Answer 5

You're not talking about keeping it from him - and that's very good news. Truth is the right thing here and, although it will be hard, you must tell him.

Try to see this as an opportunity to examine what about this college friend was so enticing - 150 text messages is a lot. It might give you some information about what you were looking for. Not to say that you cheated but something drew you to him.

Answer 6

You need to tell him, plain and simple. If you harbor any feelings for your "old friend," then you need to ensure that your husband knows that as well. The main thing is dont give your husband a reason to wonder if you're cheating or not, because if you keep your relationship a secret from your husband, you might as well be. Talk to your husband as soon as you can. Make sure that your husband is trusting someone worth trusting.

Answer 7

old friends are nice to have. why 150 messages is beyond me. why didnt you just email him? why are you so upset? you havent cheated, so why are you feeling guilty? what ELSE happened? c'mon spill it. you are not going to get upset over texting an old friend. what else occured? if you didnt cheat, you have nothing to worry about. let it go.... how would it put a strain on a marriage if the marriage is solid? honesty is the best policy, BUT YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! so stop beating yourself up! if he asks tell your husband the truth. i hadn't spoken to my frind in 5+ years and that is why i text. word to the wise, instead of a 150 messages + text, use email, or write a letter or send an ecard, so you dont get stressed out again neccessarily. relax. its harmless....... "or was it????"

Answer 8

Honey, I think the best way to do this is with humor. He's your husband, not your father sweetie and you aren't in any trouble. Aside from having some fast moving fingers and so much to catch up on, you've done nothing wrong. Simply tell the hubby "Honey, before we get a bill delivered in a box, I think you should know that I ran into one of my old friends and rather than calling him to catch up, we were texting back and forth. Before I knew it, it was enough to have me feeling guilty. Please don't worry that there is something more going on, it's just that I've been so wrapped up in life with us, that I've let some of my friends go and before I knew it, years went flying by and I was filling him in".

Yes, honey, it's that simple. In marriage, it's okay to make mistakes....As long as you learn from them. Next time, pick up the phone honey, it'll save alot of explaining later.

Answer 9

Well, I think you'll need to say more than you did here. How in the heck did you end up texting 150 times? And Why? When you know the answers to these questions then tell your husband.

Answer 10

every time you have intercourse you may get pregnant. this is not any longer proper in case your on BC or besides the fact that. the probabilities won't be as great yet its nonetheless possible. Now on your case, specific you may desire to alter into pregnant from the precum. it is going to incorporate sperm if he ejaculated in the previous without urinating or it could incorporate a small volume besides, counting on the guy. you would be pregnant, there's a noticeably stable risk which you're. My suggestion could be seek advice from somebody, your dad and mom in case you may probable attempt because of the fact they could help you and communicate with you to the place you will sense extra valuable. try as quickly as you may. (: