she wants to get married and have a baby at age 18?

Question

My niece who is 18 year old turning 19 years old in the upcoming weeks wants to get pregnant so her 15 year old boyfriend he turns 16 i think at the end of the school year will have to marry her?I am very concerned her parents are divorced have been since she was 10 yrs old .Since then she has gotten kicked out of 3 different boarding schools and caused so much trouble failing classes,getting arrested for assulting her step mother, and a DUI neither of her parents want to deal with her.I was asked my her mom (my sister) to take her in for her senior year of highschool.Its been a year and half since she's been living with me. I got her to graduate HS through a lot of nagging and even got her to sign up for classes at the local community college.She seemed to be turning around till i found the ovulation kit and when i confronted her she said she wanted to ensure her bf would have to marry her?What do i do?

Edit that by and not my.I love my niece very much but if she were to get pregnant i would not be able to help her financially.She does not pay rent as it is or help out around the house and her parents are paying for her school

Answer 1

Let's change this: My 18 old nephew, who turns 19 this month, would like to have a baby with his 15 year old girl friend who turns 16 at the end of the school year. What should I do?

Well, he is committing statutory rape. Removing all the love and consent, a baby and future marriage that boy is committing a crime. While it hasn't come to point yet, it will when the girl gets pregnant.

You must stop this one way or another, but think what woudl your Mom or Grandma do, or ask them.

Answer 2

This is a joke, right? Babies, marrying babies, and having babies. This won't last thru a pregnancy, and then some innocent child gets to be raised by a grandmother, or an aunt (you) or a single mom.... wonderful... Read this to her...

Sweetie, you will go from being the huss, the sexy fox, the huss the babe to pregger lady, and housekeeper. And for him, he will go from being the dude, the sex machine the man, the screwing king, to father and provider. And no one will ever tell you that this is going to happen to your cozy little relationship, and you apparently think that marriage and having a baby are the answer to all your problems... oh, my, how wrong you will be.... Your little relationship will turn 180 degrees!!!!!! All we get told is , "OHHHH we're gonna have a baaayyyyyybeeeee, ain't that sooo romantic???". and it isn't. You aren't going to stay what he married , and he isn't going to stay what you married, and the prospects of being a father with lower testosterone (he doesn't know that yet) will just shock the sh(it) out of him.... He's still a baby, and now he has you preggers,,,, what a shocker. And he will run... he's too young and so are you.....Some guys go out and have affairs, and get some second lady preggers...)... and the troubles really start after the kid is born, and now this screaming third thing is in your relationship... you no longer get to think of each other, you have to get up, feed this kid, and he has to put up with your soon to happen changing moods... great, huh?

Kids are not bonding, hon, they are divisive, even in very solid marriages..... And kids need to be planned for...lots of couples don't plan... not REALLY plan!!! We ought to teach this stuff in hs, we don't. And as a public school teacher, my apologies, really unfair to young parents who have no idea what is going to happen when kids enter their marriage.

Here's what my mama said to me,,, no drilled into my head beginning when I was 13... your niece needs these... she makes a mistake like this now, and she'll get to join the legions of single moms in poverty, for the rest of her life......

1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.
2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to
3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better

Good luck, hon.

Answer 3

I'm just going to throw some thoughts out. Hope something helps:

It sounds like she's so desperate for stability in her life that she's trying to create family. She shouldn't be condemned for this even though she is young. It makes sense considering her background. People used to have the option of marrying that young, but they also generally knew who they were sooner. It sounds just the opposite here. I bet getting pregnant and starting a family sounds much more attractive to doing a bunch of school work for something she doesn't want to do.

Have you walked through the steps with her about what she needs to do to find the personal financial stability she needs before beginning a family? Maybe it doesn't need to sound like so much work...it's only a matter of a few years of diligent studying.

Has she truly had the chance to find out who she is and what her gifts are? If she hasn't have enough emotional support (that's no slight at you...I'm sure you're doing the best you can, but there was much baggage already when she came to you) she might not even be able to admit to herself what her calling is.

Do the college courses she has signed up for reflect her giftings and abilities? There are counselors who help people find these things out, and books, or Meyers Briggs. She might have had some help with that in school, but if the guidance counselor is the same person she was sent to for discipline, it's possible that she'll feel written off by them even if they are trying not to be biased in their advice to her. She might not even feel confident admitting to herself what she wants to do let alone a counselor.

It might be that she needs to up her high school grades so she can go to University rather than enter a College program. She shouldn't be discouraged from doing this because sometimes rebellion happens when we have extra special gifts or abilities that are being ignored.

Good for you in helping her.

Answer 4

She is looking for love from someone and trying to make sure that they HAVE to give it to her. this is something she never got from her folks.

This girl need to get into some serious counseling. ASAP. She has several issues that need to be addressed or she will continue to live in the fantasy world she has created (where 16 year olds marry because they have a baby on the way).

I would get her into counseling and I would let the boys folks know what she is planning so they can attempt to knock some sense into the boy as well.

good luck!

Answer 5

If you know someone who has a infant (five months would be good) and have her babysit all day long. I don't think she has any idea what's it is like to have to care for a baby all day. I have a six months old and I can barely do much while I care for her. Hit her with some reality. She want to marry, then she better find a way to move out and pay bills. You can try talking to her or have her baby sit, and if that doesn't work, then pray that she will wise up quick. You know deep inside you can't really do much.

Although, if you know her boyfriend, maybe tell him what's up. Tell him not to tell her that you told him, but be aware of what's up with her. I don't think he want to trap himself at such a young age.

Answer 6

u said it, her bf is a kid +ur nice is still 2 young 2 get married or even think about a kid. i had my kid with 21 it was an accident and i love here more than anything in the world, but when i think back i would do it another way, its hard 2 have a kid that young tell her 2 finish school at 1st and getting a job or go 2 college

Answer 7

Tell her that if she does this, you will have her charged with child molestation since her boyfriend is a minor.

Hopefully, this will shock some sense into her empty head.

While that is sinking in, inform the boy's parents. Maybe they will be willing to help you dodge the bullet on this situation. If they are worth the powder needed to send them to hell, they will not want their son to sire a child at the age of 16.

Good Luck and God Bless, you need both.

Doc

Answer 8

wow I don't see anything wrong with her getting married at 18 almost 19 but to some one her own age not a few years younger. something needs to be done if they are having sex its call statutory rape if you wanted to go that rout to insure she will not get pregnant then you could do that or just site their and watch her f up her life. sorry to be so harsh but that's what it looks like its coming down to. you cant always get through to some people sorry but its true talk to her get her counseling good luck

Answer 9

She thinks that having a baby will make her feel loved. She is craving love. Ask her where she is going to live when she has the baby because you are not going to raise any more children. Seriously, she needs counselling. I can't imagine any 18yo girl I know who would be slightly interested in a 15yo boy. Maybe you should let him know what is going on and hope that he runs like hell. Good luck..

Answer 10

Lucky kid. Gets sex with hot immature girl. Hope he hides the family's pet rabbit.

Depending on what state you are in you might want to point out that:

a) she's committing statutory rape
b) 16 may still require parents permission to get married

Good luck. You did a great thing taking her into your home, but one year can't fix all of this kid's problems.