What do you think can resolve communication issues in a long term relationship? Especially for married couples

Question

what I always hear is that the couple just stops communicating. I find this strange and alarming. I am planning to get married soon and my fear is this will eventually happen to me and my hubby to be. He is sometimes like this already. What do we do bout this?

Answer 1

There are COUNTLESS reasons why relationships can be that way... but lets just give you some pointers on how to avoid that....

1. Make sure to share the same purpose, don't assume you do. Happens alot were ones pretty kin on family but the others all about something else... money, friends, beer, something else, this destories the friendship.

2. NEVER separte the importance of yours, or his family towards your relaitonship, THEY ARE IMPORTANT! Counting them out of the loop is like cutting off a leg, the marriage can run very far, or very fast.

3. Share as much as possible (don't stress it now!) your feelings, emotions, day-2-day happens, just ANYTHING to help reinforce that friendship, because at the center of any deep and meaningful relationship, is a friendship. Besides who whats to be in love with a stranger? How long could that last?

4. Sciences, yes, the sciences, are extremely helpful, towards, allowing you guys to grow as individuals, and grow together. So understand the sciences, talk about the sciences, understand its falsehoods, its truths, its reality. Because it is better then religion towards developing relationships. Lets just say, DEBATE! Is wonderful! Arguements... are not...

5. Have kids! Yep Kids! See there is a reason we get married and it isn't because were allllll soooooo iiinnnnn loooveeee thats cute and all, but marriege without a purpose outside the individuals envovled, just looks like that on paper, hence the 75% divorce rate, besides that most divorce don't happen because of kids, but they happen dispite them, because people don't realize how important the other 4 things ARE even before marriage....

6. Understand to that this world isn't set in stone, there is not right, nor wrong way, understanding this is alot towards helping you guys to relate yourselves, and what you believe to be true at that moment in time, but also (now this is sooooo important) you to grow later if something new happens, or comes up. Being able to adapt as a UNIT, or rather the RELATIONSHIP being able to adapt is AAALLLLL so important....

7. Also (this goes along with the family thing) never neglect nor abuse the importance of a past, the story you had, and the experience you had back then. The past defines a big part of you, so never keep that to yourself, nor allow your mate to keep that from you. Everything from the small to the large should, in time, be related to that SO in your life, along with your present feelings, and future expectations....

If you could follow these points, I feel anyone can have a relatioship that could make it to death, and beyond....