I am seperated after a 5 year relationship and 4 years of marriage...I have, I thought a best friend of 25 years that does not agree with what I have done...heck neither do I. I cheated, I own it and I did it. WELL, she has decided to play both sides...telling things that I entrusted in her for years and especially over the past months. She has her skeletons but I choose not to play that game with her. She says she told these things to her boyfriend and he went to my husband and told him. I have not totally told my husband everything felt like I had already caused enough pain. So what do I do...do I write her off...she is going in for gastric bypass surgery which I had back in October 2006 she has hers Wednesday and I do plan on being there...she doesn't not want to be with this guy. I keep thinking she is pushing me to tell her discretions so he will leave...maybe I should??
2007-09-04 09:33:39 · 9 answers · asked by Angela W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you have enough problems of your own to deal with. Do yourself a favor and stay out of your friend's problems. What comes around goes around and she will pay for her own mistakes sooner or later without any help from you. If you already planned on being at her bedside for her surgery then go, but avoid talking to her about your personal life. She doesn't sound like someone you can count on to confide in, so don't.
2007-09-04 09:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OHH MY GOSSSH! I just went through this exact situation a little over 2 months ago. Sweetheart, a REAL friend would have your back. I've learned through my situation that there are 2 kinds of friends:
1)Real ones
2)Toxic ones
She sounds like a toxic friend. Let her go. I don't think she is doing this so that you can tell her partner about her. WHy would she tell things that you entrusted in her for years. That was none of her business to tell. And as a friend she should stay out of what is going on between you and your ex and be there to support you. Does she (and you) realize that she could be hurting you during divorce proceedings? If he has a lawyer and is to tell her, those adultery allegations could hurt you. I say that you go ahead and attend her gastic bypass, after she has recovered, you talk with her and you cut it off. Trust me, if she did it before, she will do it again. Besides, how could you ever trust her again??
2007-09-04 13:18:34 · answer #2 · answered by hartbreaker00003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This person isn't your friend, at least right now. I would confront her about the things you told her were in confidence and just because you are separated, it doesn't change that fact. Let her know that you understand she feels that you were wrong and that you know you made poor choices but it isn't her place to interfere in your relationship.
You may also consider coming clean with your husband before she can tell him. It will hurt either way but he should hear it from you.
2007-09-04 09:40:26 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to do to her, what she did to you... that according to you was horrible and has caused additional pain?
why don't you just talk to your friend and stop being a hypocrite... how can you say you want to be there for her during her operation and yet plan such a low scheme???? you are being just as bad of a friend as she is!
loose that pay back mentality and act like an adult! tell her how hurtful it was and how you trusted her... she is obviously not a good friend and doesn't care about your feelings. just because she doesn't agree with what you have done doesn't mean that she has to do something like that.
2007-09-04 09:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is definitely a foe even if she told her boyfriend he shouldn't have said anything, but even if he did I'm pretty sure she knew he told your husband. After Wednesday don't completely cut her off but know you can not trust her with your life!!!!
2007-09-04 09:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by ablockgurl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hellooooo!!!! this isn't the work of a friend. And I'd certainly stop telling her your business. I'd be there for her surgery...but I'd eventually drift away from her. My best friend never once told any of my secrets, nor did I hers.
With "friends" running their mouths you certainly don't need any enemies.
2007-09-04 09:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Foe! You write her off. This is NOT a friend of yours. She's causing you pain.
2007-09-04 09:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her about herself. If she reacts nonchalant, I would probably start distancing myself. I had a friend (supposedly) start dating my bf while I was out of town, and when I confronted her about it, she responded "Well what do you want me to do about it?" I was devastated. You need to nip this in the butt right now.
2007-09-04 09:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by lawstudntbynite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's a foe. a passive one too. don't do her dirty work for her, and shame on her for betraying your confidence. go out and get new friends and quit cheating on your mates!!!!!!!
2007-09-04 09:41:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋