My mother seems a bit racist - what to do ?

Question

I used to live & work in foreign climes, and picked up the local
language, customs, etc. As one should.
My mum says "your dentist is a black man", or "is your optician foreign".
It is silly, and I have said so,
Where does this race thing come from ?
It is beyond me.

Answer 1

I think by and large that it depends on a persons upbringing and I'm guessing your mother is of an age that when she was younger there was less racial integration/understanding.

That being the case then It is probably too late to do anything and just accept her as she is. After all everyone is entitled to their own views no matter how unpalatable they might be to anyone else.

I would add however that the examples you used don't to me sound immediately racist, she could be simply making a point that many people in such jobs are not white anglo saxon protestants which is a fact and nothing to do with being racist.

Answer 2

May be you mother hasn't mixed too much with other ppl from other countries, may be she is used of her comfort Zone , you know some folks are scared of the unknowing and and till she gets to speak , and gets to know ppl from other races, and find out that we are all the same good and bad in all of us, she may start to enjoy her self. As you know you travel and worked away and can appreciate the wonder full word and how great it is that we are all different , & how faboulous it is to learn from others, i too traveld alot and meet all diffrent kinds of ppl from all walks of life and to me its been the best thing i ever did, i being mixed race my self know that feeling of a small amount of ppl being not sure about other evnic groups but you know it help me to descover who i am and to be proud, and do not think too bad of you mother, its just the time,s where probably diffrent in her day, and she can't be that bad and can't be too racist coz look at you, she brought you up and i don't think she ever made too many coments or if any about ppls other wise you would not be mixing so well and having so many wonderfull friends. Try not to be too hard on her may be take her along with you one day and intruduce her to some of this ppl she think are so diffrent, i'm sure she will enjoy it, Good luck and take care

Answer 3

She's been brought up to think different means strange, but I hope you'll fight that belief. I don't mean pick a fight with her, but in you own mind, you mustn't let her way of thinking become yours by internalising her own belief. Just express how it makes you feel and learn to detach yourself from her opinions while both of you respect each other's feelings and opinions. What she's saying might be based on racism fed to her by her parents or by the society in which she grew up, but when she says someone is foreign, that's not actually racist because what she says is true. However if she said, 'your dentist must be a bad one because.......' then that is racist. The important thing is what you believe, what you think and if your mother and you can learn to repsect each other while being able to express your own feelings.

Answer 4

I was in the army and so I have traveled a lot. I think it would be a big mistake for me to get the big head because my parents are hard working people who rarely traveled more than 50 miles. They did not have those advantages because they dedicated their lives to serving me. I need a spanking if I look down on them. What you describe is not racist; its just an inquiry as to what someones race is.

Answer 5

Older people were brought up differently and don't think in quite the same way, what she is saying is not racist just a fact. So give her some slack.

Answer 6

Hate begets hate. There are many who hate your mom also. It all evens out.

Answer 7

Let her be

Answer 8

You are, what you were,when.