I love this guy and i told my parents i want to marry him, but my parents are against it because he is from different caste. He's a great guy and i have known him for about 4 years now. My dad is very upset and my mom is always crying and they woun't talk to me. I hate the fact that im hurting them. How can i make them understand that i love them and don't want to hurt them but im doing this for my future and happiness.
2007-09-04 08:03:56 · 35 answers · asked by Sania 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell them how it is and don't apologize for it. You know how you feel and it is your life. If it doesn't work, well, then that might make them feel better, but atleast you did what you wanted to because you felt like it was right.
2007-09-04 08:07:55 · answer #1 · answered by Lissa Ann 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh my, that is a tough one to answer if we don't know the man. You did not include his or your age. This may help a little. What is it about the man they do not like? I wished I would have listened to my parents. I married a man that no one liked. Even my friends tried to warn me. Well I did not listen and ended up in a divorce raising two children on my own. I did it but it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Working and taking care of children all by yourself. Think about it. We did not have a lot of money either. We made do, but if I had it to do over I think I would not do it the same. I love my kids and they are the best part of my life. But a lot of very very hard times. You see this man molested my child. If the parents do not like him, that my dear is a red flag. If your friends don't like him then that is even a bigger red flag. Step away from the situation and take a good look at the whole picture. There is something you can not see that you parents can. They have lived so much longer than you. Please take a better look. I wished I would have. Let me know how things turn out. Good Luck!
2007-09-04 08:24:55 · answer #2 · answered by UPESKYMO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't your parents approve? Sit down and answer their questions and explain to them how you feel about this man. Most parents NEVER want to let their daughter go, it is difficult for all parents. Find out their reasons and see if you can resolve them. Do they want you to finish college and feel that if you get married you won't finish....Communication will give your parents the answers they are looking for and you the understanding of why your parents disagree I am sure you can work this out you don't want to hurt your parents to the point were you guys are not talking. Is this guy worth losing the relationship you have with you parents the ones that have always proven to be there for you threw everything???Best of Luck
2007-09-04 08:12:33 · answer #3 · answered by Virgo Rose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you marry the guy make sure that he's a good guy and loves you and cares for you and can support you. Your parents can be right and can be wrong. you never know. You could think your man would never hurt you and all of a sudden cheats on you. Not to put things in your head. Just make sure you make the right choice and follow your heart. If you really love him you would do anything to be together. And talk to your parents and try to work it out. =D
2007-09-04 08:11:51 · answer #4 · answered by Zariah Willow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate this too. I've had to go behing my parents back for nearly 4 years in a secret relationship with the man I love because they'll never approve. You have to accept that they're from an older generation and hopefully in time they will understand.
Make sure that you try to become financially independent and stable before you make any decision. Because if the worst happens (e.g Your parents abandoning you and I hope it never does happen), you can continue living your life without having to depend on anyone.
2007-09-04 08:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by Indian Barbie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe that being understanding towards the kids does indeed keep a healthy relationship among both sides. My parents are very much like this. Yet, they draw the line. I don't want to say they were strict on me entirely, but they sure knew what was right and wrong and taught me plenty of it. Violet
2016-04-03 03:17:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you said caste i am assuming you are Indian? The caste system is supposed to not exist there anymore but there are still social stigmas surrounding it right?...I understand your parents desire for you to have a good life and how they may feel a person of a lower caste may not be able to provide that for you...however if this gentleman is trying to better his life (and the life of his potential wife) by going to universitty...or learning a trade and so on...then they should give him a chance...have they met the guy that you want to marry? I am sorry this is so hard for you, i know pleasing you parents is important to you...in the end though it is YOUR marriage, not theirs. my heart goes out to you!
2007-09-04 08:15:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably will never be able to make your parents understand. More importantly, you have to decide on a couple of things. One, who are you living YOUR life for? You? Or your parents? Two, do really you want to participate in a caste system? They are nothing more that organized and accepted bigotry.
2007-09-04 08:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ian D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are just two possibilities for you:
First one: You just behave as your parents expect from you and marry somebody of their choice - so your parents will be happy of their obeying daughter.
A very easy way without having to discuss with your family, you just act like small little girl without having an own will.
Second one: You learn to behave and act like an adult and stand up for your rights.
Adult life means, that you will have to take your own decisions and accept the consequences - nobody but you is responsible of your life.
Parents tend to be melodramatic and in many occasions they try to blackmail us.
Try to understand, that your parents belong to a different generation and their values are different to yours.
Parents want, that time stands still and they expect their children to think the same way as they do, having exactly the same values as they have and act the same way as they did during their whole life.
Unfortunately, these parents forget, that they also didn’t think and act as their own parents did.
New generations have to progress and have to have a different way of thinking and life - if not, most likely thee will never be any progress in the world.
Caste system has been officially abolished and damned since many, many years, but in the head of these people it unfortunately still exists.
That’s why your generation has to be different and fight these unwritten and inhuman laws.
Due to the law in India men are women are equal and have the same rights, once a woman who has reached the majority of age is free to live her life the way she wants to live it.
But laws and reality are obviously not the same.
You shall be mature enough to know, that your parents will do everything what’s in their hands to blackmail you and make you weak and give up your dreams.
It’s not because they are egoists, it’s because they think, that their way they see the world is the only correct and acceptable way of life.
So, you can stay strong and make your decision and go on with your plans.
Finally, when your parents will realize, that you won’t change your opinion, they will accept your decisions and also try to make the best out of the situation.
If you don’t fight for your right to be happy in life and choose the easiest way by obeying your parents, you won’t have any right to regret yourself afterwards.
I think, that weak people, who never show any courage should not have the right to quarrel afterwards... nobody will give you your rights, you have to fight for them!
2007-09-04 22:42:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrying someone with "class" or "money" will not give you happiness.
Have them meet t he guy, have them see how he treats you or respects you. Don't e like "Its my life"
because in the end, the will ALWAYS be there. I am married, no problems with that, but my husband leaves for like 4 days and it is my parents who are always there for me.
And there is no better fulfillment than being close to your parents and husband and for them to have a great relationship.
Keep in mind their feelins have them explain why they disagree, and then you tell them why you think he's appropriate for you, h ow he respects you, etc.
2007-09-04 08:16:12 · answer #10 · answered by yolie857 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A different caste? What country are you from? That would be helpful in giving you an answer you can use. In the US, this wouldn't be an issue, as we don't have castes and although your parents may not approve of you dating outside your ethnicity or religion, you wouldn't face some of the physical terrors you might outside the US. Would hate to give you advice that could end up costing you (or him) your life.
2007-09-04 08:08:13 · answer #11 · answered by ragann63 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋