Husbands & Wives - Who decides?

Question

When you make large purchases, such as furniture, who ultimately decides on the final purchase?
What if your tastes are so different?

Recent case study, lol
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ao.31uIgyLPtgmpR_UhgCCfsy6IX?qid=20070904101553AAbqWM1

Answer 1

We both decide to purchase the furniture, and how much we will spend, but it usually ends up on my shoulders to pick which actual couch/chair/or whatever it is. He always says it's up to me. I try to get his opinion, but he says it doesn't matter to him. The only decision he has ever made was about our mattress. He wants a memory foam one, and that's that. I don't care about that, so I guess we balance out in the end.


edit:
I just read your other post. My solution would be to let HIM return it and then he can pick out whatever entertainment center he wants to. No way would I go through all of that just to go back.(lol) Then he will see just what $600.00 buys these days.

Answer 2

When my husband and I got married and went furniture shopping, we went to several stores trying to find something we could agree on. If he said he didn't like a certain style or a certain color, we walked away. I wasn't going to push the issue since we both had to live with it and we would both be paying for it and I wouldn't want to put something in the house he wouldn't be happy with. I am always concerned about his happiness before mine. He did/does the same thing so we didn't purchase anything until we could both agree.

For the most part, he did let me guide the way because I had made purchases in the past since I lived in a house where I had to supply everything. He had either lived at home or in apartments and, being a bachelor, he could care less what his apartment looked like (odd and ends and all that) ~ lol

Answer 3

It sounds like you and your spouse have agreement/compromising issues. From this ? and the previous one about girlfriend or mommy? I'd say you are having some marrital differenciating issues. Marriage is about equality. You need to learn to compromise, when decision making on things w/different perspectives. It's not about who has the final say. You both are living this life together and I assume you both want to be happy and comfortable in it. Neither of you are gonna be able to have your own way all the time...Compromise. I'm sure the two of you can sit and rationally discuss different alternatives in order to come to agreement to one. Besides, obviously you both would have had this same issue before marrying, so you should have came up with a solution before taking that step into marriage...don't ya think. There are many different ways to come up with a compromise and it varies per topic, I'm sure as 2 responsible adults, that you both can come up w/something. Eihter way, your answer is...COMPROMISE!!

Answer 4

Ever hear that saying "It's all greek to me?" Well, that is how it is in my home. Haha, my hubby is greek and his taste...to be honest...is crazy.

Heh, but we've worked it out over the years that I basically take over the decorating and household changes. He brings things in sometimes that I find absolutely wreched, but they usually get put in the closet or in storage eventually. We did, however, compromise with this huge painting of an old Greek Orthodox pastor in our living room.

When we buy expensive things, usually we call eachother to ask if it's okay to spend the money and if we both approve of the financial thing then we go ahead and buy but the ultimate decision of where the item is placed and how visible it is to guests is MY idea.

Women always have the final say though, right? :-D

Good question. I'm giving you a star!

Answer 5

Both of you should decide on large purchases. If your tastes are very different and you cannot compromise, you can divide the rooms and decorate them that way. (For example, if your wife picks decorations for the kitchen, you can decorate the rec room...). However, if your wife is the one who spends the majority of her time in the home (cleaning, taking care of children), she should have more weight in the decision.... Try to shop around, even if it takes a while, and see if you can compromise on purchases.

Answer 6

Well in the case of furniture, I think you should both scrap your choices and keep searching. Maybe you'll find something you both really love. If not, take turns. Let him choose the couch and chair...while you choose the end tables, paint, carpeting whatever. Maybe you can both live with neutral colors like a black leather (or cream) couch and recliner. Those colors look good with anything. Good luck!

Answer 7

That depends. Some guys could care less how the house is decorated. Does it rock, recline, and swivel? Great, we'll take one. For the most part it should be a joint decision. That way when it's all said and done it was a win-win situation and neither person walks away feeling they got the shaft.

Answer 8

We both decide.

We usually pick it together and we discuss what we want together.

If it is a large purchase like furniture, boht should have a say as both are going to be seeing it and using it all the time.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

Well my mum chooses... but they choose more than one and they take pictures and when at home they decide which one by talking through it [=

So in my family never such thing happened who rules the house and things [=

Hehe <3

Answer 10

Depending on what it is, we both decide to some extent. We're pretty flexible in this regard. There are certain things that my husband will defer to me on, and others that I will defer to his judgment. BTW, he too hates Ikea furniture - and knowing that, I would never buy anything from that store without him looking at it first.