I will try to make this simple.
I have been getting child support from my daughter's father for 12 years now. For 7 of those years, I got $151 (he was in college) and now the last 5, he pays us $522/month.
I had another baby last year and got married (to a different man, obviously.)
Since my wedding in November, my daughter's dad has given me the hardest time about paying the support. He thinks it is up to my new husband or something. I support (from MY money, not my husband) my daughter and mother and rely on that $522 to help pay rent and groceries. He has been trying to give me $100 here, $200 there, instead of the full amount at the 1st, which is court-ordered. I let it slide a little since he just got divorced from his wife (he has infidelity issues..) and is now paying alimony and 4 more kid's support. This ex-wife doesn't have to work for a dime, and all her expenses are taken care of. Now my ex is giving me such a hard time.
2007-09-04 05:45:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I asked him this weekend for the full amount and he all but refused. He finally (very angrily) gave me $200 and said he'll come up with the rest later. Then he demanded to know what I do with the money!
I just need advice. Thanks!
Not sure what category to put this in..
2007-09-04 05:47:25 · update #1
I am a 15 year old who has divorced parents that are both remarried. I see my dad 10 days out of the month and my mom 20. My step dad has a higher income and my dad does not want to pay anything additional for me, just child support. So when I go to his house he doesn't by me anything. Lately I've been getting fed up with it. & my realization is that the child (or in the case of you, the mother with the child) will always win. So if you go to court and tell them what is happening they will deal with it. But do NOT let him slide by with his child support payments because eventually it will get worse and worse and he will step all over you. My mom sat back when I was younger but now that I can make decisions for myself and taken control things have gotten better. So it may be hard to stand up to him but I assure you that you need to and you will come out victorious in the batle for child support money.
2007-09-04 05:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
First, I'll say -- it sounds a little bit like you're jealous of his ex-wife, because you have to work, and she doesn't . . . you have to put that emotion aside. Emotion is the worst possible thing to involve in any legal matter (that's why I hate family law -- the people are so. . . high strung).
I don't know which state you live in, but there is probably something akin to my state's Child Support Enforcement Agency. You can go there and discuss the issue with a case-worker, who may well get an order to have the funds withheld from his check, before he gets it. . . which means you wouldn't have to worry about not getting support -- because he wouldn't be the one giving it to you . . . the C.S.E.A. would get it out of his check before he got his check.
Another option is to discuss with the case worker something called arrearages. An arrearage is an amount of money that he was supposed to pay for child support, but didn't -- so, keep a close record of what he owes, and what he paid (and any notes, letters, messages . . . about it). If arrearages are an issue, then he can be made to pay his current balance (the 522) plus a portion of the past balance, that he didn't pay . . . with each payment.
It's a complicated system, and there are potential legal ramifications, aside from a court order -- including license revoking, garnishment . . . stuff like that. Don't try to fix this yourself -- talk to the caseworker with the Job and Family Services or CSEA, or see an attorney.
2007-09-04 06:14:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know any legal remedies. However, my only recommendation, is to do the math. You say that you receive 522 a month for child support.
If your child is getting 522 a month, and he has 4 other children and alimony to another wife, we can guess that he is paying over 2000 a month to support others. If he is middle class, this is likely crippling his own finances, and he can't afford the same quality of life he's used to, so he is quite upset. He may truly be financially hurting, but it is possible he's just an asshole.
Going to court will likely change your situation. The amount he has to pay will likely go down if the court finds him in a new financial situtation. This may actually be preferable, since you will not be getting money he can' t afford, and it may cause him to seek to lower his other payments, giving a better overall balance, and him more willingness to pay.
2007-09-04 06:04:20 · answer #3 · answered by balisarius 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Contact the family court that has handled your support cases in the pass..and your lawyer if you have used one. He is in arrears and that needs to be know. With that being said, as he is going through another divorce and the costs with that, it may happen that the court adjusts all the various payments he makes so as to leave him enough to live on. How his divorce is handled with the other wife is none of your business really...stay out of that one. But it could end up that he will be given lower payments to all all the way around. Get the issue about his being in arrears and non-compliant in now,so if there is an adjustment, the back support will be figured in to the new payments.
Also, your husband can ask for proof of how the money is spent if you go back to court. If you haven't done so already, you may want to open a seperate account for that money and keep all proof of how it is used. He may not ask, but the documentation is never a bad thing.
2007-09-04 05:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
First of all, if he's giving you the money directly, it isn't being deducted from what he actually owes you. If he's not going through the courts for payment, whatever he gives you is considered "a gift". If he's giving you a hard time, take him back to court. They're probably basing what he owes on both incomes. No including your new husband. You don't owe him any explanation on what the money is being spent on. I'm sure you probably take money out to pay for clothing, food, housing and utilities. Child support is to help compensatie for all of that.
2007-09-04 06:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by mary p 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is in voilation of the court support order. Take him back to court. Most states now require payment to be made through a Child Support agency. This keeps track of all payments and arrearages. Find out or request this method of payment. Your new husbands income has no bearing on child support. Neither does the fact that your ex got divorced again. Ohio has a "First family first" rule that makes taking care of payments to the first childs support a priority. Going through a Support agency for payment will also relieve arguments with your ex.
2007-09-04 06:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by sensible_man 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Go file with the court for Contempt of court. Here in CO. if he refuses to pay after a judge orders him too, he gets jailed and his bond amount is the amount in back payments he owes. It's non of his damn business where you spend the money, it's a court order.
2007-09-04 05:52:09 · answer #7 · answered by Cookies Anyone? 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Let's stick to the facts.
First of all, you think it might HELP if you told us in what state you reside and where the original support order was issued.
The REASON for this is because several states adjust support when one or the other party resides or cohabitates with a member of the opposite sex overnight for any length of time (including marriage) and therefore, although his methods may be suspect, he MAY be legally correct.
And YES, I am an attorney.
2007-09-04 07:35:32 · answer #8 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you have a court order, he is obligated by law to pay the amount set forth in your court order. I would recommend that you go to your local child support enforcement agency and apply for services and they will collect it for you (no cost to you). They will keep track of his arrears and he will have to continue to pay till his arrears have been paid. To find the child support enforcement office in your state you can go here:
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
2007-09-04 05:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by junebug 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that it is his obligation to pay support for you daughter until she reaches 18 no matteer if you are married or not,if he doesnt want to do like he is suppose to tell him that you are taking him to court and make him pay it through the court and if he gets behind he will go to jail.
2007-09-04 05:51:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋