I had a bad childhood which I do not feel upset about today. I'll run through it briefly: My parents divorced when I was 5 because of cheating and abuse. I watched my mom do crack,cocaine, D all of the above until I was about 15. I was evicted from bad neighborhood to bad neighborhood (I went to 3 middle schools, 4 elementary, and 3 high schools). I was exposed to a lot of adult situations and basically was forced to grow up young. Theres way more to it but thats the gist of it. I'm not upset about my past or angry at my parents, but my question is am I going to have mental problems as I get older. I'm 22 now and I notice them somewhat (I'm pretty self aware). Will I get worse with age?
2007-09-04 05:27:56 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
The good thing is you are aware that this has had an affect on you and you want to do something about it. Are you going to go out and do drugs? Mistreat your spouse? Be mean to your kids? It's a possibility but a lot depends on you on what's inside you what kind of person you are inside and where you want to go in life.
My wife was severely abused as a child until she was 16 when she married to get out of the house. The guy she married turned out to be abusive but she could handle him until one day she decided that there was more to life and she didn't have to take it anymore. That's when we got together.
I grew up next door to her and saw some stuff that happened to her and could testify to her certain events and parties and other things that she has "nightmares" about that she doesn't want to believe people do to other people.
But even through all of this she is the sweetest, most generous person I have ever met. She was a pretty heavy drinker when we first got together, she was brought up in a bar and her parents were always drunk or drinking. But the beer never got out of hand. Came close.
We have 3 wonderful kids. I thnk the only down fall she has is that she married me. I think she could have done better but I know I couldn't have.
If at all possible try to get some mental health therapy just to help you sort through the bad stuff.
The main thing is you have to believe that all of what happened to you when you were growing up was NOT YOUR FAULT. You were just a little girl. A little girl who was supposed to be loved and protected by your parents. It was NOT YOUR FAULT.
It sounds as though you came through this with a keen mind and good senses and I bet you're tough too. My wife as well.
I think if you decide " I'm going to succeed in life" you'll do just that.
Will you get worse with age? No. What you are feeling are the after affects of a bad childhood. You are fighting within yourself about the guilt you still hold inside. That's why I said "IT's NOT YOUR FAULT" You will battle with this until you finally realize that you had no control over what happened to you or your family when you were growing up. They were the adults. They were supposed to protect YOU. You did whatever you could do to survive. And because of that survival instinct in you you are still here today. And believe it or not this world is a lot better because of you being in it. You have a lot to offer because you know how bad things can be and you are smarter than the average person because you survived.
I could go on and I hope this has made sense to you but I'm afraid I sound like a nut.
Hang in there get some professional help to guide you through your private hell and you'll be okay. I"m sending you a hug *. Good Luck
2007-09-04 06:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by blastabuelliac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key thing is that, yes, bad childhoods can have detrimental effects if they were sufficiently traumatic or distressing. Do all bad childhoods necesarily have to resurface: no. Do all bad childhoods result in mental disorders: no. If you sincerely believe that you are getting mental problems, then attempt to get help. However, you must understand that it sounds as if you feel that such an occurrence is inevitable, and thus you are subconsciously interpretting your thoughts and behavior to support the assumption. There is no indication to believe that you will get worse with age (in fact, the distance in time from those events, if they are truly the cause, should relieve any chances of mental illness).
2007-09-04 12:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been through alot.
Will it effect you?
Not nessisarily, that will depend on many things that I can not access over the internet.
Some people are resillient. They might live horrible things but they find their way through and they do well in life.
The book "Emotional Intelligence" may give you some insight as to why you may prosper where others crumble.
I hope for your sake that your strength continues and you are able to build yourself a better life than where you came from. For one, I think that you have the right attitude and that can make all the difference.
2007-09-04 12:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
May not effect in a negetive way always.
But it will stick to life always.
2007-09-04 12:37:49 · answer #4 · answered by nomad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-09-04 12:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes but they can be treated see someone about it
2007-09-04 12:30:45 · answer #6 · answered by glintar s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋