I pick fights about everything. The way he drives, talks in front of our son, eats in front of our son, being scared of spiders, and the way he watches tv. I know I'm not happy and I know I want out. But I'm scared to take him away from our son and our son away from him. When I go home and know that he will be there it makes me sick. While we are having sex it's ok for him to touch me but afterwards I feel like I need to throw up because he had to touch me. If it were up to me we wouldnt have sex at all. Help I need a safe way out without hurting everyone around me. or any advice.
2007-09-04 05:20:49 · 21 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm going to guess that behind all of these little problems that you argue about there is a BIG problem hidden somewhere. What you need to do is find what this problem is and communicate with him what is REALLY bothering you.
Obviously it was okay for him to touch you before or you wouldn't be married, and you wouldn't have a son. If you work to find what's REALLY bothering you, and then the two of you work to fix the problem, your marriage could very well survive.
Chances are that since you are arguing with him all the time YOU are not the only one who isn't happy. It's hard to put yourself in his position when you feel you are the one getting hurt......but try.
If nothing else, YOU might want to find a counselor, talk to them about your problems, see if they can help you find a solution with what's bothering you.....and then eventually bring your husband into it. Everybody needs a little help sometimes.
Good luck
2007-09-04 05:37:23 · answer #1 · answered by jezyka 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Arguing is normal for a relationship. It's better to get things off your chest, instead of bottling them up inside. If you feel like you need to stop arguing, than pick your battles. If it's something little, try and let it pass. Just count silently in your head to 10, or 20 or 100 or however long it takes you to calm down before replying to something that might make you angry. You could also try talking with your husband about your arguing and try to come to a solution together, like if you feel things between you two are getting heated, then tell the other.. "I need a time out, because I am starting to get angry" or something like that. I've been married almost 2 years and I love him to pieces, but there are times when I feel like throttling him!! We normally separate for a few minutes (like one is in the living room, one is in the bedroom) and then after a few minutes or an hour or however long it takes, than we try and talk it out what made us so mad in the first place.
2016-05-21 01:51:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have lost all respect.
Why It sounds like that I can't say, it just sounds familiar.
Maybe its the phase of the moon or high tide who knows.
Maybe you should step back, take a deep breath, and try to put your finger on the cause of your lack of feeling. Right now there is not much you like and a lot you you don't about him.
There is a reason and you seem lost to the cause.
I think it is unfair to make any move like leaving without attempting to rectify the situation. It is unfair on a lot of levels and to a number of people including him, your child and yourself.
Take the time to get to the root cause lest you leave too soon and realize that it was an error afterward.
If you do not figure out what is going on in your head you are doomed to repeat this .
It really does not sound like he is doing anything wrong except breathing.
The only way to avoid hurting everyone around you is to find out why you feel like this and fix it.
2007-09-04 07:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you really want out then the right thing to do is make the first move by talking to your husband an te best way you know how tell him that you cant do it any more even thought an you would like to talk about living arrangement for your son-so he wont be affected by the choices that you have made other than that you should be the one to move out of the home because you are the one choosing to end the marriage so just think about your life your son an your family an why you cant seem to want to be with him any more.
2007-09-04 05:32:36 · answer #4 · answered by C.S. 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is because you are wearing a mask or a personality different from you. For some reason you feel insecure about your own personality. Hence you assume a persomality and try to keep THAT IMAGE.
Break your shell. Come out of that shell and dont be afriad. You are much better than the partifcular personality mask you are wearing.
I am a husband and I know
2007-09-04 05:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by UseAnotherNickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl........... we are in the same boat. First of all-- do not give up!!! For me, this stems from being super spoiled and my parent's giving me whatever I wanted, even now! Now, things are different because I want and want and my husband can't provide although I have a successful career of my own. I want HIM to buy me things and NOT me. We just started a business and he is devoting himself 24/7 to it. Even that brings fights because I want him 24/7---- I need to grow up as well. I am also sick and tired of this behavior. If you analyze, I bet the things you fight about is totally insignificant stupid things and NOTHING to do with the relationship. We are checking into psychiatrists so I can start therapy this weekend. My mother says it is something in the past and to seek past life transcessors but I don;t believe in that. My husband has been there for me through thick and thin but I am wearing him out.
2007-09-04 05:39:13 · answer #6 · answered by Lucci 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no safe way out and people will be hurt. But you are already hurting them so it might actually be a relief for you to end things now. Quite frankly you sound like a real witch and your soon to be ex will must likely be quite happy to get away from you.
2007-09-04 05:29:05 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very ungrateful person. I would love to be married and have the love of someone who provides for me and my daughter (her dad does nothing). You are sabotaging what seems like a decent relationship for what? You really haven't mentioned if he's doing anything WRONG. If he hasn't been in any accidents, why criticize how he drives? Everyone talks and EATS!! Lots of people are afraid of spiders and how can he WATCH TV wrong? Sounds like he should take his son away from a picky and petty person..don't you think?
2007-09-04 05:30:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
For starters, see a counselor. You have some issues you need to resolve and need the help of a professional.
Secondly - do not stay in this marriage and subject your child to such cruelty. Your son will either end up hating you for treating his dad like that, or hate his dad for not standing up for himself. Even worse - your son could someday end up with a wife just like you. Would you honestly want that kind of life for him?
No person deserves to be treated the way you treat your husband - and no child deserves to be subjected to such harsh cruelty between parents.
Right now, your best choice would be to file for a legal separation and split custody with your spouse while you get help. Once you have resolved your issues, either repair the damage you have done to your marriage (if possible) or end it and move on.
And never speak ill of your husband around your child again - it's is completely disrespectful of you as a parent. You are teaching your child to disrespect his elders - begining with his parents.
Best Wishes
2007-09-04 05:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Ariana 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately when you leave a relationship, someone gets hurt. Noone should be unhappy and whether you realize it or not, your child probally already knows that you are not happy and that is not good. Let your husband know how you feel and try to work it out from there. Good luck to you!!
2007-09-04 05:26:32 · answer #10 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋