Manic
Truth be told, I am a 'Manic'
Poppin' pills ta stray from panic
People think that I,m so sick but,
No, no, no, that's pure bullsh*t
I jump from calm to eerie frantic
Fidgit, fidgit systematic
Hooha laughter doing slapstick
Through town square, (became a classic)
I'm in your head, that dusty attic
See you too contain a phobic
Is it systic? Is it mystic?
How much of there really is it?
Judge me not you hypocrits
You'll find I'm truly a psychic
Go manic head on with a critic
This time 'round, it ain't no bullsh*t
In a calm from raging panic
People exhale unnerving tics'
Catch a break from freakish frantic
'Till the next time I am manic...
2007-09-04 05:20:15 · 6 answers · asked by ? 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Oh Graceful G,
it is I who is truly disappointed,
there is no need for a question
as it's in the poetry section
and the whole style was to give the inner impression of what it feels like to be an "intuitive manic depressive"
I'm seriously not one for confining "rules" in poetry,
LOL, that's so "old school" don't cha think? (there's your question btw *^_^*)
All the Very Best, Shad @)~>~
2007-09-04 06:14:29 · update #1
Remember that it is the dark side only because no one has turned on the light switch.
Then, and only then can people truly SEE with their heart, and not just LOOK with their eyes.
Congrats on another masterpiece...
...job well done.
2007-09-04 06:22:36 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Mozar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Truth be told, I expected a serious piece on manic but lo!you've simply demonstrated your passion for words ending in C for rhyme-sake (form) but no sensible/ concrete message (content), my Dear!
For what on Earth do you really mean in these lines:
I jump from calm to eerie frantic
Fidgit, fidgit systematic
*
I'm in your head, that dusty attic
See you too contain a phobic
*
In a calm from raging panic
People exhale unnerving tics'
There's more to serious poetry beyond Hey diddle-diddle, the cat and the fiddle or Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall Mother Goose nursery rhymes kinda stuff!
What was the question!
Disappointed but thanks
2007-09-04 06:05:23 · answer #2 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Shad, end line three with "sick" and stick "but" at the beginning of line four (that will resolve the rhyme issue in stanza 1). Line 2 of stanza 3: "See, you too..." add the comma after "see". End of line 1 of stanza 4: use "hypocrit" instead of "hypocrits" so it rhymes with the last word of line 4. Finally, suggest changing "exhale" to "reveal" as "tics" are seen.
Otherwise it was a clever little piece of insanity :)
keep writing
2007-09-09 05:57:44 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awesome poem, another wow to add to myb collection as usual. you are a great poet! keep Writting!
2007-09-04 18:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by Sh00ting_St@r! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well shad my dear you came up with another fantastic poem...i noticed from previous poems you kinda like the
dark side...thats cool..can you do a comical poem ....or one about your farm...you are a ''mystic manic iconic'' beam me up frost
2007-09-04 05:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by eb_guy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are awesome.
"we're not worthy,we're not worthy"
-wayne & garth
i love it,seriously. very good =)
2007-09-04 05:43:15 · answer #6 · answered by ♥livingdeadgirl♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋