Long question, but I really need some help, so please bare with me!
I have been very busy with school, and one of my friends took it personnally. I explained to her that I wanted to do well at university, and that is the only reason why I am spending less time with her. She did not believe me, and she continued to take it personally, which resulted in her being unpleasant to be around at times. I am now in grad school, and at my going away party (I moved 600 miles away) she ran around to my friends saying "I hope I dont get ignored tonight like I have the last 4 yrs", or "supposedly she is my best friend....but not lately". This made me very mad, because not only did I have to deal with the emotional difficulty of leaving friends and family, I had to deal with her insecurities of our friendship. Now I am in a new city, and she is 'waiting' for me to contact her as a test of how much I care for her. How do I confront her about what she did at my party, or should I just let it go?
2007-09-04 05:14:29 · 6 answers · asked by Bobbi S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I honestly don't think it should be up to you to fix the friendship. If she can't accept that you're busy, it sounds like she is having some issues handling this maturely. If she does have some growing up to do, confronting her about it will probably only aggrivate the situation. Perhaps it's best for you to just treat her like you would if this had never happened, and wait for her to come around. And if she never does realize that what she's doing is silly and hurting you, then that's unfortunate, but it can't be forced onto her.
2007-09-04 05:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by DC 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sucks...I also just began grad school. My best friend complained a lot when I was an undergrad too. I would tell him that I can't do this or that, got to go home, etc., and he would say "yeah right, like you really have that much stuff to do." Sorry, I don't have any real answers for you, only suggestions.
Did your friend go to college? The reason I'm asking is because my buddy never did, and I finally realized that he could never understand that part of my life. We are still close, but some thing have changed. I'm beginning to think this might be part of it.
I've had other people tell me that sometimes friends get jealous or envious when they see your really busy, because they might think you'll find other friends to replace her with....when really your just a normal person trying to better yourself.
She shouldn't have disrespected you like that unless she meant it in a joking (busy) way. You still maintaining your relationship with her all this time should prove to her that she is important. I hope you and your friend can still stay close....good luck to you.
2007-09-04 05:33:35 · answer #2 · answered by Workcompguru31 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a best friend understands what is going on and is supportive no matter what. If she feels she has to test your friendship because you didn't spend enough time with her, maybe you need to re-evaluate the friendship. If you still feel you need to contact her to confront her, you can just send an email that says that you understand she doesn't think you are her best friend anymore and leave it up to her to explain or respond or not respond and take it from there.
Sometimes friendships change as life changes. Sometimes people move out of your life and come back in later and sometimes they are there thru thick and thin. She may be one of those who becomes a part of your past since it sounds like you are growing away from her. That might be what she is sensing.
2007-09-04 05:58:36 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your chum could be utilising the only coping mechanism she has obtainable. different individuals act aggressively, drink, drug, improve melancholy, have an eating sickness, etc. blocking off out circumstances is a touch inoculous thank you to handle stressful circumstances. She additionally could be a shy person who copes by using attempting to close her self off from aggressive or maybe threatening (her concept) circumstances. you already know, as i became into typing this i presumed approximately human beings i've got accepted who're like this--specifically circumstances they arrive from very verbally and bodily abusive households and the only way they have found out to regulate is by using performing like a turtle. You by no capacity understand, for valuable, why somebody acts the way they do--once you're on my own--why do no longer you ask her in the main non-confrontational way which you will muster? maybe she's no longer even conscious she's doing it as commonly as she is...
2016-10-17 22:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you can try to not let it show it that her comments bothered you, it may upset her more. seems like you got a rather sensitive friend there, so do be gentle. be extremely nice to her, but never forget her attitude towards you, so that you won't hurt her again. you seem to have a really sweet personality, and all the best for your life! (:
2007-09-04 05:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Fish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it go shes very immature and hopefully when you are ready she willbe more grown up acting.
2007-09-07 17:25:14 · answer #6 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋