I know everyone goes through things in the first year; I was just wondering what were issues that you and your spouse faced and were they resolved? just trying to learn more to benefit my own marriage. Answers are all appreciated :)
2007-09-04 04:51:09 · 13 answers · asked by Jersey Style 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks all, great honest answers!
2007-09-04 05:03:25 · update #1
My hubby and I are going for our 2nd year and it has not been easy. We separated for about 2 months, but thank GOD we are back together. You guys have to make sure and realize that each one of you has to give something up. It's a 50/50 relationship. As a woman you also have to realize that they can't read your mind and they don't like to talk. They don't think like us and we can't expect that from them. Although they don't like to talk, when it's time to talk, you guys need to talk. It's important to keep open communication. It's not easy, but it's possible.
2007-09-04 05:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by why ask 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of our issues dealt with money. We immediately got pregnant after marriage so that put a really big strain on our finances. We still have some financial issues, but we are getting ready to have our third child. We just talked through it and made it work. We also had some bedroom issues that we are still working through, and there will always be something. Most everything else though went pretty well.
2007-09-04 13:07:21 · answer #2 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, there is so much you learn about eachother when you are first married. One of the most important things I learned was that I can't change the things I don't like about my husband. Ya know, those little annoying things or habbits they have. You can cause a lot of turmoil in a marriage by trying to change your partner into who you want them to be instead of excepting who they are even all their little annoying habbits and ways and just simply remembering all the great and wonderful reasons you fell in love with that person in the first place. I'm going on 20 years now with my husband, and I've come to even love his quirks and annoying habbits. He just wouldn't be him without 'em.
2007-09-04 12:00:36 · answer #3 · answered by Brown-eyed Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FINANCES!! Household chores, annoying habits, etc. There are still things that bother me on occasion (7 yrs and 2 kids later). You just have to learn to pick your battles. I have learned that if I can bite my tongue sometimes, it works wonders and stops arguments before they even start! Marriage takes work and compromise.
As an example, if something small is bugging you, try looking at the bigger picture. Is it really that impt to get all upset about? Bottom line, you have to try to accept your spouse's flaws and celebrate their positive qualities.
2007-09-04 12:23:36 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We always had communications problems. I also think that he still wanted to live the single life while being married and of course this didn't go over well. Talk you your husband and get the things out in the open that are bothering you, don't be afraid to go to counseling if needed. I wish you the best of luck and hope that your problems can be resolved!!!!! God Bless!!
2007-09-04 11:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband didnt make the transition right away from single to married--I'm not saying he cheated, I know he didnt---but he did flirt and notice other women more than he should. We have worked on this and our marriage is good and getting better. I dont think I'm jealous--who likes their guy checking women out? All men look and you are not changing that, but he has a lot going for him and I think women who are not happy will go after these guys if you give them any hope.
2007-09-04 11:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by skyward 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and my husband didn't live together before we were married. We fought alot about normal everyday stuff...sharing the bathroom, leaving clothes here, dishes there, running late, etc. Finally we sat down and talked about what annoyed us, assigned chores, and broke our bad habits. I've been married almost 3 years now, and our last fight was probably 6 months ago (instead of every other week). It just took us a while to get used to each other :)
2007-09-04 11:57:41 · answer #7 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I realized how hard it was to wake my husband up immediately =). Unfortunately soon after we got married I was hospitalized twice for a DVT and I go back next month to see if it's gone yet. Our challenges have been hospitals, doctor's appointments, and specialist appointments. But you see, this isn't typical first year stuff so after we move through this we'll probably get the "beginners" difficulties.
2007-09-04 11:56:52 · answer #8 · answered by MrsMarshall=) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We argued over a lot of little stuff in the first year, temprature the house should be set at, which TV shows to watch, the correct way to fold socks etc... just remember these are all little things and comprimise.
2007-09-04 12:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by growing inside 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing at first but now after 5 years I see the problems. Communication and we just don't spend enough time together. just remember to talk everything out and have date nights every week. Or as often as you can.
2007-09-04 12:05:41 · answer #10 · answered by Marge 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋