Last night, my husband confessed that Saturday and Sunday he had lied to me about where he went. I trust him so I asked where did he go. He told me he went to the strip club, and "didn't do anything" while he was there. Should I be mad at this? I'm so confused. We've been together for almost 4 years, and just got married last October. Why is he lying to me already!? Please give me your advice on what to do. Is he cheating on me? He goes out a lot without me, and leaves me home with our 5 month old daughter. Should I be worried? Please help!
2007-09-04 04:12:44 · 16 answers · asked by Ash 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't like it...is he cheating though, Hmmm, that's tough because it's really hard to know for sure unless you catch him red handed. The strip club thing isn't cool if he is doing it alot. I think once in a blue moon is ok, but not on a regular basis. I would be careful and be guarded, you have someone else to think about here with your baby girl. Good luck
2007-09-04 04:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he given you any reason to think he is cheating? Yes, he lied to you about going to a strip club, and he shouldn't have. Have you ever told him not to go to one? Chances are that he knew you would be mad and that is why he lied initially, but the guilt got the better of him and he told you the truth. Please don't chastise him for this and talk to him. Let him know how you feel about strip clubs and whether you would allow him to go to one or not. Keep in mind thought that you do not control him and even if you tell him not to that he still may go or may get mad that you won't let him. For the most part, men do not get it right the first time around. Sounds like the old boy loves you in that he felt guilty enough to tell you so take pride in that.
2007-09-04 13:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should be mad, what are you a rug?? Be mad if you ARE mad. Let it out! I'm sure he lied because he knew what your reaction would be. You should be worried if you feel worried. Lying to a new spouse who's at home taking care of a baby is pretty low. I don't care where he went. What you do is let him know that this is totally unacceptable and make him work to get your trust back! Make yourself a plan to leave (even if it's just a temporary kick in the pants for him) if things don't change. Find your balls and figure out what you want for you and your daughter and don't accept anything less! Good luck :)
2007-09-04 11:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. He lied because he knew he was in the wrong just being there. He tried to make it sound like it was not so bad. When does anyone try to make something not so bad unless they know it is really bad in the first place? If he wanted to go out without you, why the hell did he get married in the first place?He could go out anytime as a single guy. So what is he a father or not? Why is it okay to leave go out and leave his daughter? Why isn't he being responsible? Does he feel like she is not his responsibility to care for? He likes living as though a baby hasn't changed his life? Does he live alone? If he wanted to live as if he was single and childless he should have stayed single and childless. Start keeping a record. He'll mostly likely continue what he is doing and try to make it not so bad again, then you present the facts of what has been happening. It can help in a custody case too, showing how he really was more interested in going out than being a father. You haven't been married a year and he is showing you his priorities are elsewhere. He needs to match your emotion investment in the marriage. If he doesn't, he'll continue to live as if you aren't there.
2007-09-04 11:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by so tired 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably lied because he knew you wouldn't be happy about him going to a strip club. Then after he went he felt bad for lying in the first place, so he fessed up. Don't be mad. Be happy that he decided to be honest with you.
As for cheating, has he given you any other indication other than going to a strip club that he might be cheating? Looking at some strange is a long way off from actually cheating.
2007-09-04 11:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are going to have to ask him point blank. If he is looking for a pie outside the restaurant, it means he is not happy with the cooking. I understand if he goes out with friends to a strep club once in a blue moon, but if he is going out without you a lot, then that's a different story. You guys need to talk.
2007-09-04 13:06:32 · answer #6 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he is lying to you about where he is and that's not good...it's almost impossible to say what he's been up to...you need to make it clear to him that you will not put up with this behavior and if you find out that he's messing around with other women that you will divorce him....
kind of odd that he's gone all the time and then admits he's been going to a strip bar....
You are bound for problems with this one
2007-09-04 11:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally if he is lying to you about where he is going, what else could he be lying about?
And thats kind of unsual to go to a strip club and not 'do anything'.
im not saying he is cheating, but you need to find out what is going on, why is it so hard for him to tell you where he is going, why does he have to lie to you?
I think you both need to sit down and talk about all the things bothering you and why he cant be honest with you, and see if you can work out his lying to you
2007-09-04 13:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by Living in Hell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be angry, if he feels the need to go check out other girls then he feels you are not good enough for him.
You need to confront him about this and ask him if you make him happy and tell him you dont want him going to these places.
Dont listen to any guy that tells you "your not good enough"
You are. Your husband is just being a slime ball
2007-09-04 11:23:54 · answer #9 · answered by Megan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you should have daddy night out as well as mommy night out. Or the two of you stay home always together or have only 1 night out together. This isn't about him any more. Its about that child having the family it deserves.
2007-09-04 11:46:36 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋