I have been married for almost a year with my husband and we have a 13 month old son. We chose to get married. The wedding was beautiful but I am confused about my husband. He hardly says he loves me, he always joking telling me he doesnt like me and then says just kidding. I knew him when he was dating his old girlfriend and he used to buy her gifts and be affectionate to her. I pretty much have to tell him to buy me a gift or what I want us to do on a special occasion. We don't really hold hands, We kiss once and a while . But we are really good friends. We have a lot in common and we enjoy each others company. But i know what he could be because I saw it when he was with his old girlfriend. I know that there is nothing between him and another girl because we are always together and there is nothing between him and his old girlfriend. Help...
2007-09-04 04:09:19 · 7 answers · asked by Emy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only as bad as the both of you allow it to be. He may kid you because he knows it 'gets to you'. Have you sat down and talked with him about how you feel? The fact you both enjoy each others company is wonderful, but you two do need to get the affection and romance into this marriage. You obviously had it some time or you wouldn't have had a child. Let him know you would like a little surprise gift once in a while; you'd like him to put his arm around you and you can also do these things for him and with him. Stop comparing his other relationship with your own; he is with you; just open up to him with your feelings.
2007-09-04 04:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you guys choose to get married because you were pregnant, or before? If you were not already expecting when you chose to get married, was he affectionate before? If he is acting different than before...you need to talk to him and ask him whats going on. Ask him what's changed, and what you guys can do to work on it.
However, if he was always like this with you, you should have taken this into consideration before you got married. There's nothing you can do now, but talk to him about it. Tell him that you don't feel like he is very affectionate, and you don't like having to beg for gifts. It could be that he is just more comfortable with you, since you have a child together, and he doesn't feel like he has to win you over with gifts all the time. Tell him you don't really feel loved, and talk it out.
Communication is key in a marriage!!
2007-09-04 11:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit your husband down and have a serious talk with him. Tell him your not getting the affection from him that you require on a daily base. True love is shown all the time, and you can feel it. Your secure with your lover and don't have to wonder if he loves you. Happiness and contentment is what a person feels when there in love. Ask him if he has fallen out of love, when it comes to you! I hope this isn't the case because you have a child together and he needs your love & support. If your husband is real about how he feels, then he will express himself and either fix the problem with counselling or just change his ways toward you to keep you satisfied. No one should feel unloved in a marriage, this isn't right. If he tries to ignore this situation then tell him to step up to the plate or move on. Cocoa
2007-09-04 11:29:32 · answer #3 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered asking him? You say you are good friends, well good friends do not keep secrets from one another. You have to talk, asking why isn't he showing you love. For God's sake you guys have been married only a year and he doesn't hold your hand or kiss you. Something is not right, and you need to find out.
2007-09-04 13:10:35 · answer #4 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you keep comparing you with the ex, it will be the never ending story. If he WAS a gift giver, and now he IS a father and a family man, cant you see that he is living different periods with a different woman in a different time??
Once in his life he was playing with little cars, or just spending time with his basketball ball. You cannot live with a PICTURE. Accept him as he is. Instead of suffering.
let him choose his own personality in his own life in this part of his life. Instead of getting worry of HIS CHANGES, focus in your own life, are you being who you want to be?
He is being sincere, perhaps not so TENDER AS YOU WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE, but that is another story. He seems to be happy doing this, he is even thinking it is funny.
You can talk to him. But mainly I would say, enjoy who he is, and stop wishing him to obey your fantasies or act as YOU THINK HE SHOULD.
2007-09-04 11:20:55 · answer #5 · answered by Simple Mind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn economics. Supply and demand. You restrict the supply, he increase demand. You supply too much and he takes it for granted. Get some outside activities. Some outside friends. Do things on your own. Of course this could backfire if he's not committed to you alone.
2007-09-04 11:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop suffering in silence, talk to him. You may not like his answers but it has to be better than the torture you live in now. Who knows maybe you are completely wrong and he loves you more than life itself. TALK to HIM!
2007-09-04 11:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋