We're unmarried and from Scotland, I signed the baby's birth certificate which gave me full parental rights to him, same as her.
She's rude, arrogant and really quite vicious, she's left me several horrible and nasty voicemails on my phone which I've kept recordings of, she's kicked me in the balls, thrown stuff at me and generally makes my life hell, the final straw came the other night when I was crawling on the floor playing with my son and she kicked my in the jaw cause me to chip my tooth off another tooth.
I love her but I'm ready to go, the house is in her and her fathers name as my credit's shocking but I have my wages paid directly into her account and I pay the mortgage from my wages as a standing order - from her account. She doesn't work.
Where do I stand with regards to getting 50/50 custody of my son and getting my share of the house.
Should I go now or should I stay for a while longer and build more evidence of her nasty bullying tactics, maybe keep a diary?
2007-09-04 04:08:28 · 16 answers · asked by threecraws 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PS: I singed the birth certificate less than a year ago and DO have paternal rights as she does.
2007-09-04 04:09:19 · update #1
Just to let you all know, I'm not a weak guy, not at all but if I start on her I wont stop and I'm scared of what I'll do sometimes. the red fog and all of that - I could throttle her sometimes and then it would all be over. I have dreams about doing that.
2007-09-04 04:41:28 · update #2
You should be able to get 50/50 on the house and child. take her to family court yourself or consult a lawyer.
2007-09-04 04:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Leena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in the united states, just because you signed the birth certificate - doesn't give you rights - all it does, in some states, is allow you to petition for custody, without having to go through a paternity test. Some states, don't even consider your signing the birth certificate as proof.
Quite frankly, the abuse you are suffering is inadmissable. You have not gone to the hospital, nor called the police. Same goes for women who don't report abuse - in the law's eyes,and the courts - it doesn't exisit without proof. A diary means nothing.
Also, if she doesn't abuse the child - what happened between you two as adults doesn't matter,as you will be split.
Since you are unmarried, you have no rights to the house, at all. Regardless if you have paid into it or not.
You are in a tough spot, you can't get custody of the child if you do not have a place to live, you are going to have to move out first, establish yourself, then petition for custody.
The other factor is if you are a US citizen or not, if you are still a Scot, then you will not get 50/50 custody - as there is the threat you will take the child overseas. She will get sole custody, and you will get visitation rights.
2007-09-04 05:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shuold be able to get 50/50 but I would keep a diary. I would also get out now, your son doesn't need to see that kind of stuff, it will scar him for life and he'll end up in the same type of relationship. First Id have your wages put into your own account, maybe find someone that will let you move in with them till you can get your own place then just leave, call a lawyer the day you leave or before, the longer you wait the harder it will be.
2007-09-04 04:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by connie p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Birth certificates are always on record somewhere, you probably don't need the original. You shouldn't stay and take abuse. First you need to have you paycheck paid directly to you and not into her account. Unless you've been abusive yourself, there's no reason why you shouldn't get shared custody. This is how it works in the United States (of course there are a million variables) - but the logic is universal. Move out, file for full joint custody. best of luck, you should be fine.
2007-09-04 04:16:56 · answer #4 · answered by Lori E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I truly wish I could be there with you...I would so kick her psycho A@# for you. I take it you are such a gentlemen huh? I know most guys in the USA would have punched her lights out! You don't deserve that. I would build a case against her but not at the risk of getting hurt. If you can get to a lawyer and let him know what is going on. Let him hear the tapes, Show him your tooth. Be careful though because if she knows what you are doing she can turn around and say it is you who is being abusive to her. She can go as far as hitting her self and calling the police to have you arrested. Get to a lawyer fast you Sir are involved with a women that has totally lost her D@# mind!!!
2007-09-04 04:20:28 · answer #5 · answered by Bigeyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look , the best advise to give you is to see a solicitor so that you know all your rights.It is easy to prove that you are paying for the home,so she wont be able to stop you there,as for the kick in the jaw,I would have gone to the police and then got medical evidence to back this up.If you do and it is shown that she is a continual violent person towards you then you may even get custody of your chld as well as the house.
2007-09-04 04:26:15 · answer #6 · answered by sameasyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a good situation!! I would get out and I would call whatever authorities you have there as far as child well fare and make a complaint against her. Even if he is quite young and not as yet physically abused by your girlfriend, she has kicked you in the face in front of him. She could have missed you and hit him! And if you leave without the child, what is to prevent her from hurting him? You have documented cases of violence, use it to get full custody of your son. Hire a lawyer, see what you can do.
2007-09-04 04:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the United States you would call the police. Everytime their was family violence she would be arrested. And then you would have an excellent case to get 100 % custody. I am not sure how it works in Scotland. It might be worth a call to an attorney that deals with family law.
2007-09-04 04:16:41 · answer #8 · answered by saved_by_grace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go now. Go and search for a brighter future. Once you have that, you'll be in full-gear to fight for the custody. Allow yourself to do it before your child forgets about your existence.The longer you stay, the more of excuses for her to belittle you. Your self-confidence deteriorates without a glimpse. Build up your strength and dignity without her constant hindrances, so you can battle the 'war' ahead you. Take care.
2007-09-04 04:28:21 · answer #9 · answered by lylie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut your losses now and get out. Have a paternity test done on your son and if he is yours start the proceedings for custody.
2007-09-04 04:18:13 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋