Don't get me wrong. I like affection. But I kinda relate it to this: I'm like a cat..I want attention when *I* want it, not when you want to give it to me, and when I want it, I want it right then and there. Otherwise, leave me alone.
My g/f on the otherhand loves to show affection..a LOT. She says she will even do it if it annoys me, because she'd rather show me she loves and me and have me know it, but be annoyed, than have her NOT show it to me, and me feel neglected. I guess she has a point, but how do I get her to calm down a little?
2007-09-04 03:57:40 · 12 answers · asked by I_color_outside_the_lines 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you are like a cat, get her spayed.
Just continue to tell her that you love her and that you know she loves you, but that the excess body contact is somewhat too much. Don't be stand-offish, but ask her to try and control herself.
That or deal with all the huggies and kissies Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzle Cuddle Bear.
2007-09-04 04:05:23 · answer #1 · answered by The Gay Argentian Seal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have certainly heard of friends expressing this feeling and dealing with this same problem. I can see both sides of the issue and think the best thing to do is to continue to talk it over, that and a little time should work things out. Take comfort in the fact that it is not the worst problem in the world to have - and try to apprecieate the affection.
One helpful little tip I can offer is beat her too the punch. What she is really looking for is reassurance...so if you take a few moments out of every day to make sure YOU show HER some real and genuine affection (and for girls that is not sex or grabbing her butt - real sweet affection) she will more than likely back off some.
2007-09-04 11:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's clingy. That's a sign of insecurity. Encourage her to do things she likes to do (without you). Things like going to the latest art show or hanging out with her girlfriends. Having a little fun on her own should help you both to spend time together without the static cling.
2007-09-04 11:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by sci55 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's possible. Someone who will do something that annoys you even though they know it annoys you is someone who isn't thinking about your best interests. If she really wanted to show love to you, she'd give you your space when you asked for it.
2007-09-04 11:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I'm with you totally on this one. All I can say is keep telling her to back off when you're not feeling affectionate. She needs to respect your feelings. It has nothing to do with your feeling neglected, it sounds like it's all about her needing attention. Of course, I don't know her at all, I hope I'm wrong.
But talk to her some more and make her understand that you KNOW she loves you and you love her, but you're feeling smothered sometimes and that is NOT good for your relationship.
Good luck baby!
2007-09-04 11:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by FTW 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it can be annoying to have a clingy mate. Maybe she doesn't have self confidence and thinks you'll leave her? I'd sit her down & tell her "I love you, I know you love me, but your sufficating me!" Let her know that she doesn't need to continually prove she loves you by being over affectionate w/ you. Let her know you need some room. That she's gonna push you way by sufficating you.
Hopefully that'll work.
Good luck!
2007-09-04 11:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by FrancoAmerican! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy above me has some good points but my piece of advice is to wear her out of it. Whenever she shows affection, tell her you wanna have sex. Eventually, she'll get tired of showing too much affection.
2007-09-04 11:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It used to bug the hell out of me with my ex. . . when she would get into my "personal space." Like breathing on my cheek to give me a kiss! I hated that! But, now in my current relationship I have noticed I don't mind it at all, in fact I love it!
2007-09-04 11:55:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her. She is violating your boundaries. Even if she thinks it is silly, they are your boundaries and she should not cross them no matter what, even if she doesn't agree with them.
2007-09-04 11:04:51 · answer #9 · answered by zonkflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i could never be turned off by too much affection..there is no such thing to me.
2007-09-04 11:10:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋