Once you fall "out of love" with your spouse, can you ever get it back?

Question

Is love like trust, once you lose part of it or all of it, can you ever get it back?

I'm not talking about "love" in general. There are people that I care for and "love". I'm talking about being head-over-heels "in love" with that person. There is a difference.

Answer 1

I think that you can...Part of loving someone is doing things for them that they couldnt do as well for themselves. When you serve your partner, you will feel more in love with them. When both partners do this, then the love grows, and regenerates. People somehow get the wrong impression about love, that it is either there or not...that is chemistry, not love. Love can be nurtured, and grown. But both parties have to work at it.

Answer 2

I believe you can.If you both really what to make it work. You can. Their are a lot of people that break up and get back together. But be fore you get back together you have to fix what was broken. Just remember you both have do something wrong. It takes both of you to fix it. you never really fall out of love. Thing just do not work out. nether whats to fix the problem. That is why you think you fall out of love. I hope you are talking about marriage. Because you will find the same type person you leave. The ones out their might be worst then what you have.

Answer 3

Anything is possible. In my opinion, there may not have been any love there in the first place and this has given the appearance of falling out of Love. In my opinion, Love is not feelings but a commitment. Ideas and beliefs changes over time effecting our commitment to one another. So it is possible to relight the flames of Romantic Love and passion and all that is required is to change ones beliefs or perspectives about the other person.

Answer 4

I don't think that you can fall back into love, but, I do believe that the fire(love) can be rekindled.I say to examined the problems and see where the weaknesses were and try to strengthen them.Continue to keep your creative juices flowing.If any love still exist there is always still a chance that you may have a soft spot still let in his heart.Start out as friends and see whre that leads you.

Answer 5

I think it will have alot to do with the circumstances of why you fell out of love to begin with. Were you hurt or wronged, did you just get bored, did you loose compatability, etc? I think most love can be regained if you were not hurt or wronged by the one who said they loved you. I have been married for 11 years, and I can honestly say I have fallen in and out love with him over the course of the last 11 years, but I always found that spark again. Until this most recent time. He hurt me, bad, had an affair, and I think my heart has been too consumed with hate and resentment for me to think it possible to ever be in love with him again. So, it all depends on the individual situation. Best of luck to you and I hope you can search your heart and soul and really figure out what makes you happy. Its a very hard thing to do.

Answer 6

It depends on what is going on to make you feel as if you fell out of love. Is there no romance and you never see each other? Did they gain weight? (Hey you never know) Possibly some OTHER stress in your life is affecting this relationship. I know when I am upset about something, usually bills, I am not quite as lovey as I usually am. So to answer your questions more directly, yes, I believe you can get the love back, but it really depends on why you think it is "lost" in the first place. It really might not be what you think.

Answer 7

The first question to be answered is what is love....love is the recognition of similar values in another person combined with physical attraction. If the core values of that person are still there...and the issue is not one of a breach of trust...and you are still physically attracted to them...then love can be repaired. It really depends on why you feel you have lost your love for that person...what were the conditions which precipitated this "loss of love". Ultimately, whether or not you try to regain the feelings you once had...remember...feelings are an outward manifestation of one's value system. Perhaps you need to recheck his or yours...maybe you never did love that person...maybe you never knew what love is...because you never took the time to define it.

Answer 8

Once a fire has burnt out completely, can you revive it? This should answer your question regarding falling out of love. Love is like a fire, burning with high flames of passion creating an abundance of heat and light. Once the fire begins to burn out, chances of reviving are better when the flames are still burning. Once the fire (relationship) reaches the "smoldering stage" where there are only sparks left with little or no heat or light, it is still possible to revive the fire with a lot of effort. Once the sparks are gone, it is impossible to revive a fire. Compare this analogy to that of a being in love.

Answer 9

absolutely, not in every situation, but it is very possible. let me just say it is not easy either, but here are a few suggestions:
1. go back to your first love (what is it that got u 2 together in the first place)
2.reminisce about the past, both mentally and physically (think about what u used to do, look and read old pictures, letters, vids, etc)
3. talk affectionately and passionately to each other (speak love and love will manifest)
4. flirt, touch, taste (get kinky and sexual-sex IS love, why do u think they call it lovemaking)
5. observe young love, mimic what they do... (call him on the phone, laugh, go on dates, go out of town, do dinner, hold hands, send flowers/chocolate, buy each other gifts)
6. SPEND SOMETIME ON YOURSELF (most important)- i kno this seems odd when you hear it, but when we work on ourselves we give love better, thus receive love better. make sure mentally healthy (not depressed), well rested (getting enough sleep?-love takes energy), looking good and smelling good (is your hair done, wear your favorite perfume, get your hair/nails done)....i've noticed when i physically look good i want to be all over my hubby.

Answer 10

All this "falling." Of course when one "falls" in love one wants to get back up. When you are no longer "fallen" then you think you no longer love. In truth, the love that sustains a relationship of any kind is more of a decision than an emotion. Quit "falling" and walk straight up into the kind of relationship you truly desire.