Hi,there! I've been working abroad for 8 months now. I'm have been married to my wife for 2 years now. We got a 15 month old girl. Latety, I have been having doubts whether my wife really loves me because she does not seem to want to call me. I'm always the one who reminds her to call me from time to time,if she is not busy. When we chat through Yahoo Messenger, she seems not excited to talk to me. When I ask her questions, she will sometimes reply with 2 or 3 words. I suspect that she maybe changing. How can I really tell whether my wife really loves me? I don't want to ask this from her. She will just answer back that I'm doubting her again.
2007-09-04 03:21:53 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is most likely difficult for her with you being away and she resents that you are away. She has EVERYTHING to take care of home, bills, child and just the child alone is a stressful job. You may want to reconsider ditching the overseas job and finding something that will allow you to be home. If you are in the military like Navy or etc suggest to her a support group. Military wives have such strength because their husbands can be gone for a long time--it is still difficult though
anyway, tell her that you do love her and when you get home you have to talk about how to IMPROVE your marriage. Tell her you dont want it to start falling apart and that you love her.
Also, when you get home you'll be able to access how she is doing AND if she is being faithful too.
In conclusion, to save your family you will have to do everything it takes. if it is the job that is causing the strain it is far better to ditch it and make your family strong again than to be away and only be a man who sends money home for bills. there is no relationship in that.
2007-09-04 03:30:37 · answer #1 · answered by dahnnna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we as women just stay a little stressed out, especially with a 15 month old. I don't think she is changing for the worse. Just sit her down orbetter yet take her out to a nice place for dinner. Maybe after yall done go home and have her a dozen of yellow roses. I promise you she'll lovethem. By the way yes I do believe she still loves you just the same as she did when yall 1st met. I think you don/t have anything to worry about. Just try not 2 doubt her.
2007-09-04 04:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not taking a moment to consider her side. For starters, she IS busy. She's running around after a 15 mth old! She has to be mommy and daddy while your gone. Maybe there's some resentment there.
In my opinion, the problems lie in your timing. Basically, you got married, got pregnant almost immediately, then you left approx. 7 mths later. Is that about right? It's understandable to have marital problems in these strained circumstances.
I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she doesn't love you anymore. But, maybe she is unhappy with your current situation. Maybe it's time to consider a new line of work? After all, what's more important, your job or your family?
I know I don't know your entire situation, but that's my two cents! Also, remember that the key to figuring it all out is communication!!!
2007-09-04 03:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight months is a long time to be seperated. It's hard to keep up a conversation when you feel so far removed from that person! When you return from abroad, I'm sure you'll see that she's very happy to see you and the "reunion sex" will be fantastic, but you have to understand that she is being both mother and father to a toddler who you haven't seen in 8 months... she's probably tired and it's difficult for you to understand what her life is like without you being there everyday. Don't voice your doubts... it'll only make things worse! Wait until you get home and seek marriage counselling!
2007-09-04 03:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by Linda S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can find work at home get there. You need to tend to your family and she may be silent for a reason.
You can't convey these thoughts or emotions on just yahoo or a phone call sometimes. I'd go to my family but your situation may make it impossible. Tell her you love her and how this long separation has made you realize how much you value her in your life. You both have to be there for your little girl so have faith and hope that you can work out your present feelings.
2007-09-04 03:30:19 · answer #5 · answered by Fixguy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get on her case and don't contact her for a few days. Maybe she only has one word answers because you are in touch so frequently she doesn't have anything to say. Maybe she is just bored with her life and taking care of the baby and is resenting that you are off doing your thing and she is stuck at home? Who knows. Give her some space and when she's ready she will come and talk to you.
2007-09-04 03:27:24 · answer #6 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is probably deprived of "alone" time, something everyone needs or they begin to feel depressed. She loves you but I suspect she is home with your daughter, going without a break from caring for her. Help out more often and give her at least an hour break each day to do whatever she wants. She needs this and you will see a difference as she will feel more complete and be more loving to you. Good luck with this!
2007-09-04 03:28:55 · answer #7 · answered by Teddy Bear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have doubt then U have something to base it on. Thats how my husband started to act toward me toward the end of our marriage, he met sumone else, Talking to you is like cheating on the new person in her life, If thats whats happening, I'm sorry. If you can go home, go and talk to her, Talking on the phone or e-mailing is not the way to keep a marrige alive.
2007-09-04 03:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by ashley v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will know when you are together. You've been apart for 8 months? that is NOT easy on a marriage. Your wife is living the life of a single parent, which is draining.
This isn't a discussion to have via messenger, it needs to be done face to face.
2007-09-04 03:26:37 · answer #9 · answered by candy'sroom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She might have her mind focused on the baby and all that is going on at home. Meanwhile, on top of all that, have you ever considered she may be a tad depressed?
She's probably missing you more than you realise. Just keep telling her how much you love and miss her.
I hope everything works out for you and your wife. Hang in there! :-)
2007-09-04 03:28:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋