How do I confront my cheating husband?

Question

My hubby and I have been having problems with trust for awhile now. He's a bit of a flirt and has a history of cheating (his previous wife). Well...to be honest, I accessed his email over the past weekend. We had gotten into a fight about his flirting and I wanted to see if my fears had anything behind it. He had written down his password months ago but left it out by mistake. I remembered it and I checked it out of curiousity. What I found really upset me. Now...I am not the person to snoop. I've never done it and never intended to. I just trusted him, until now. Something felt odd about the way he was being flirted with at a party. He set up a profile to an adult dating site just last week. I logged onto the site and he listed his marital status as "I'll tell you later" and he is specifically looking to hook up, nothing more. I know what I need to do but how do I confront him? I found the information by being sneaky.

The account he set up is on fling.com. You have to pay to chat with other members and we share a bank account so he has no credit card to use without me finding out about it. So I can't set anything up on that site with him.

would it be possible that he set the account up so catch me snooping? What if he knows that I was in his email and he set the account up to catch me? Is this possible?

I do try to keep him happy. I give him what he wants all the time. I never nag him. I constantly please him in bed without him having to ask. I take care of HIS kids and OUR kids. I let him have his own life with his friends. I cook for him. I clean for him. What more can I do? Huh? Kiss his ******* feet? I do all this and he STILL cheats! So I think it's not my problem anymore.

Answer 1

with a cast iron frying pan!

Answer 2

Get a profile on the same site and connect with him. Won't he be surprised. But seriously, even though you found the information out in a clandestine manner, you followed up on an instinct. And it turns out you were right. He is looking to cheat on you and cannot be trusted. My (and I'm sure your) instinct & deep down gut feeling seems to indicate that continuing the relationship will bring you nothing but more pain and heartbreak. Only a very small number of relationships can survive cheating and move onward and upward. Trust is incredibly difficult to maintain once a partner has cheated. It might just be time to bail. I would rather be single than spend the rest of my married life in a self esteem destroying, always wondering if he's flirting, cheating or lying marriage. You could ask yourself if he's worth it but you'd be better off asking if YOU are worth it. You, I and every other woman out there deserve a decent guy. Don't settle. And remember that cheaters are never truly happy with whoever. I have never known a cheater that didn't end up cheating on every partner. His pattern may well be set. Don't let it be yours. You deserve better. I wish you luck and strength!

Answer 3

I found something very simliar involving my husband, even printed out his profile, and he still denied it. He said he had that profile for when we were talking about a 3some, he figured he'd look into it. BUT there was nothing on his profle about wanting a 3some, and he said his marital status was "i'll tell ya later." His profile said he was looking for a discreet, sexual one on one, no strings attached relationship. So, my advice to you is try to contact him through that website. Set up your own profile, send him a 'flit' msg, sometmes these sites offer free minimal contact with another member. Do what ever you can under the free membership. See if he contacts you. See if he wants to meet you, agree to the meeting and YOU show up. Then you will have your answer.

Answer 4

"My husband and that i've got a 2 year old son. He additionally has 2 different infants via 2 distinctive women persons. so which you knew what sort of guy you have been marrying, and how plenty father your newborn could have, and you concept "Yeah, that's what i choose,". "previously we've been given married he cheated together with his 2d childs mom." ok, and you knew he become a cheat. "Now we are married, and a pair of week in the past i found out he cheated returned together with her. " nicely, yeah. You married a CHEAT. You knew cheaters cheat. "He denies it like each guy could i think. maximum adult males do not CHEAT. yet you needed between the cheaters. and you purchased in basic terms what you needed. " How am i able to tell if he nevertheless loves her?" Why do you care? he's a CHEAT who's cheating. perhaps he does not. He nevertheless CHEATED. he will nevertheless CHEAT interior the destiny. " Why could he get married to nevertheless cheat together with her?" Why does not he? You knew he become a cheat, and you nevertheless had to marry him. Did marrying propose he had to resign different women persons? No. of path not. you comprehend that, you knew it once you married him. He become, is, and constantly would be a CHEAT. "does being married propose something now days.' sure, it does. just to not people who cheat, or people who decide directly to marry cheaters.

Answer 5

First of all a married couple should have total exposure to everything ,no secrets.You have every right to know his password.Don't let him turn this thing around.The problem here is him cheating, not you snooping around.Confront him with this situation head on.The way I see it this man cannot be trusted and he is up to no good.Good luck.

Answer 6

You stand in front of him and tell him how it is.
You may love him but he must realize that you will only deal with so much.
My husband was sitting on the couch I walked into the room and said: Do you want a divorce or not? He said NO why?
Then I said act like a husband then and not a male dog in f*cking heat. Of course I was really p!ssed at the time but he straighted up.

Answer 7

Go onto the computer and download some guy's huge cock as your screensaver, or better yet, a bunch of cocks and hot guys. When he asks about it tell him you he sucks in bed and can't satisty you so you have decided to get off on hot pictures.

Answer 8

Get your own account on the dating site. Start chatting with him, arrange a "hook up" and surprise him with divorce papers. Consult an attorney first.

Answer 9

Be honest...tell your husband that you had suspicions about his fidelity......and that you accessed his account on this adult site....I realize that he is most likely going to be pissed for you be sneaking and snooping to find something....but honestly he is doing the same thing...he is being sneaky and lying by omission by not telling you about this account on the sex site....ask him directly why he is looking for someone to cheat with.....Hopefully he it isn't too late and you can work on your marriage.

Answer 10

I went through this exact same thing, I was suspicious and I went through my boyfriends cell phone and myspace account and found that my fears were true and justified.
of course he tried to say "i had no right to go through his stuff" blah blah, but that is just deflecting the issue. trying to place blame on you in a situation where the blame is solely on him! who gives a s*** if his privacy was violated. your trust, your love, and even your life (if he was having unprotected sex) was violated, so privacy is a non-issue especially in marriage. he has no privacy, you share a life, and are supposed to be honest and faithful and he broke that and THAT is the issue, screw his privacy.....
in fact, you finding all this incriminating stuff is justification for you in looking for it. you knew he was up to something and you proved it, how else where you going to find out. you weren't ever going to and that is what he was counting on. don't let him turn it around on you. be strong and good luck!

Answer 11

Quite frankly, you both need to grow up and stop being suspicious of one another. If you show the man respect he will be loving and tell you he loves you. Its not good to dig around for evidence it only shows how insecure you really are and reveals the level of immaturity that you are at..

You have to choose to find ways to keep your man happy. Cook up a storm, the cliche that a way to a mans heart is through hius stomach was not written for nothing; at the same time be respectful and loving. A marriage involves a little self sacrifice. Treat him like a king and he will reciprocate. Think of all you wanted todo for him when you both met. Find that first love again.

Choose not to assume and presume. It is possible he set up that profile knowing you would find it as a way to trap you for snooping. A lot of men do that. Beware, if you keep being suspicious and distrusting what you fear most will happen. Rather find things you respect about him and lovingly every now and then tell him what you love about him and respect about him. THat is a winner. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves and instead of dwelling on the negative, dwell on the positive. You have all the strings to pull right bbefore you. He is with you. Keep him. Make yourself attractive for him all the time. Be sexy and appealing. Encourage him in his work and thank him for his part in the relationship. Appreciate all his efforts and tell him so. You have the power to swing things in your favor but going around snooping is silly and dumb and fanning flames instead of putting them out. THis is all about attitude. All that has happened is you have allowed yourself to get into a bad habit of looking for evidence and instead of looking for positive things like being creative about your marriage and making an effort you are stepping into a crazy cycle and its starting to speed up instead of slow down.

You are wallowing in self pity and ll the related emotions and those things make one so unattractive. Rise above those feelings and emotions and choose to be and do what is right. Positive draws positive and the rest gets taken care of through those actions. Let go the foolish things and grow your tree into a strong mature tree with deep roots to keep it standing through the storms of life. Do this for yourself and for him. ANything can work out, but it requirers dedication, commitment and determination. The question is have you got what it takes and are you going to give this a bash and stick to it? I hope so! STOP, LOOK and LISTEN or you will be run over by this situation. THINK!

I wish you well and also success in your relationship.