i am 22 weeks pregnant. my parents live in india and my mom wants to come and stay with me when i have the baby. we would also love it for her to be here but flying them here would cost us about $10,000, which we cant afford right now. but if they to pay it would be some 400,000 in their money and thats like their lifetime savings gone down the drain.
now i am really afraid to tell my mom that it is not a good idea
and i dont want them to spend that much money on their own. if they are coming i feel that i should pay for their visit.
but i am afraid saying so would surely hurt her feelings because she really wants to come.
so i dont know what to do.. is it possible to manage alone with my husband ? what did you guys do ? and how do i talk about this to my mom ?
help me out please.
2007-09-04 02:43:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
my mom needs my dad to come along, since she is concerned about his health, and i am planning to go with them back to india after i have the baby.
thats around $2000 X 5 = $10,000.
atleast that how much the british airways charge. but i need to work on it before coming to a decision. :)
2007-09-04 03:15:08 · update #1
thank you very much Leisa, i got my figure from the brit airways website. guess it was wrong. i will check out the websites. thanks a lot. :)
2007-09-04 03:18:56 · update #2
Although I can definitely understand your concern for your parents' financial situation, you are having a baby soon and your concern should also be on your own financial situation.
Ten thousand dollars? Is that U.S. dollar currency? Because that is definitely expensive for a roundtrip flight for one person, even for two! Who is quoting you that price?
A ROUNDTRIP TICKET FROM NEW DEHLI TO CHICAGO
$1,450 on AIR INDIA, BRITISH AIRWAYS, or TURKISH AIRLINES for December.
Flying your mother here for $1,500 dollars or both of your parents for $3,000 dollars is definitely feasable according to the www.travelocity.com website. If your parents would not be able to afford it and you really want them here, depending on your financial situation, your options could be to either pay it in full for them, or charge it to your credit card and have them slowly pay you back.
I definitely understand your want/need to have your family, or at least your mother, there with you. But if you have a good husband/boyfriend/partner, I'm confident that the two of you would be able to do just fine on your own. In addition to the docotor, a nurse will also be in the delivery room, and there job is generally to help the doctor and also help and support YOU. So even if it's just you and your husband, the two of you won't be alone as far as support goes. Many women go through birth with just their spouse, or with just a friend, or a family member, or even just the doctor. (some have even done it completely alone)
I don't know your family, but I doubt their feelings would be hurt if you explained to them that you cannot afford to fly them out or that you aren't comfortable with them spending their entire life savings on a flight. However, as I mentioned above, whoever quoted you the ten thousand dollars, was entirely off- it is much less expensive than that.
My advice would be to fire whichever travel agent quoted you that unbelievable price and get yourself a new one- do research, get a final price and talk with your family in India again.
2007-09-04 03:10:30 · answer #1 · answered by LE!SA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, I had my mother with my husband and I when I had both of my boys....and she was SUCH a help....but she also lived right down the street! I am about to have my 3rd baby, and now live about 900 miles away from my mom....and she's not coming. She would love to be here, but the arrangements and money just did not come together.
In my opinion, if your mother is the sort that is supportive enough that you would want her with you at the delivery, she is also the sort that should understand your financial concerns, especially with a baby on the way.
Also, women have babies with just their husbands present all the time, and come out of it just fine. I'm sure that it will be okay. All of that being said, if she decides to spend her money to come be with you after you have explained your concerns to her, that really is her decision. You should not feel guilty, at least in my opinion.
Good luck to you and your family!
2007-09-04 03:12:56 · answer #2 · answered by baileyblue0801 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definitly possible to manage alone with your husband, but if you want your mom to be there maybe you could split the cost with them? That's a really hard decision to make because I'm sure you want her there but thats also a lot of money to spend especially with a new baby coming. Sorry I couldn't help more.
2007-09-04 03:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by Heidi F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can absolutely do it alone, most people do! Some do it without husbands, even. But before you make a decision listen to this. My son was born in december, my mom was going to visit in March. 2 weeks after my son was born my mom died unexpectedly, she never got to meet him. This is a regret that I will live with the rest of my life. So while you don't need your mom there to help you out, you may want her there just the same.
2007-09-04 02:50:04 · answer #4 · answered by Lola 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, thats so expensive! For some reason while I was PG, I hated the thought of someone else in the room with me and my other half during our lifetime experience of the birth of our child. But I'd have to say, if my mom had been alive I would have let her in to be with me. I can say that because she's been gone from my life for so long I'd give anything to have her with me again.
How important is it that your mom be with you during this event? It sounds like she'd do anything to be with you for it! It's such a miracle to watch and be part of, in the end it's how badly you want her with you!
2007-09-04 02:59:50 · answer #5 · answered by Kellisue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he could prove he were a good father then he might be able to get custody if he could care for the child. this would be based on the fact that the child may have 2nd hand weed smoke. Baby shouldn't be there in the house if she is smoking it. Neither should you or your sister. I think she still needs to get the support from the child's father. Then she might be able to get out on her own.
2016-05-21 01:05:28 · answer #6 · answered by edythe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women manage w/o help all the time. it's natural. in many older cultures, such as yours, it's common for the mother to move in with the couple after the babe is born but it really isn't b/c she needs help. a new babe, especially if it's your first, is easy. we all have q's but mom is just a phone call away. i'm sure she wants to be with you for this and if she can afford it, she'll come. but if you're concerned about her spending the $, tell her. maybe you two can split the cost somehow.
congrats!
2007-09-04 02:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i had my mother and husband with me for one birth. it was awesome!! and i had just my partner for the other... if your worries about your husband and how he will cope...trust me, he'll be fine! he's not the one giving birth!!!!! he just has to hang around and annoy you till its all over..(.then you'll love him again!)
but does your mother intend on staying with you after baby is born?? because although you may think its a great idea now... you will be thinking twice when the baby is actually here!!! its hard enough coping with a new baby and trying to bond with it.... for you and hubby... having someone else hanging around looking over your shoulder 24/7 can be very horrible - not matter how much you love your mum!! also remember babies dont always come right on time! so she'll be hanging around for a month...depending on when your little bundle wants to arrive!
2007-09-04 03:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by Moz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her that with the new baby coming that you cannot afford to pay for her. I'm sure she wants to be there for you, but I am also sure that she would rather you save your money for your new baby. $10,000 sounds like a lot of money...is that US dollars? I know that flying is not cheap but that does sound excessive.
2007-09-04 02:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If she really wants to come then let her pay for it. Family is more important than reducing a life savings account by $10,000.00. If she feels that it is very important to meet her new grandchild then money will not be a big factor.
2007-09-04 02:53:38 · answer #10 · answered by notthatiknow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋