So hard to move on?

Question

Why is it so hard for me to move on after a failed marriage but it seem that my husband is having the time of his life

Answer 1

He's probably just as hurt as you are when he's home alone, most men put up this wall as if they don't have any emotions but they hurt too. What you need to be focused on right now is you and don't worry about what he has going on. Start to do things that you enjoy. The busier you are the less time you have to sit around and think about him.

Answer 2

So many people ask me how can I heal. I've been hurt. ... It's so easy to say, ?This guy ripped me off and I hate him and men are jerks?. But the truth is that if you got hurt, you co-operated in it. You allowed it. You ignored the warning signs. You didn't listen to the little voice that say that's not right. You gave up who you were to get something back. You may not have been conscious that you did it but you did it. Some part of you betrayed yourself.

So the healing that really needs to happen is between that part of you that sold you out and your heart. When you can truly take your power back by seeing how you got yourself in that situation, seeing how to stayed in it, seeing how you kept yourself in denial because it was more comfortable, seeing how you didn't listen to that inner voice, those warnings, then there's no need to learn to trust anyone else. You trust yourself. You make a commitment to yourself. I will never betray you again. I will never settle for less than I deserve.

Because you are on your own side. You are your own warrior, you are your own protector. So that's an understanding I really try to share with people. Because walking around with those emotional walls that say love hurts me is a real misunderstanding. Love never hurts you. It's not loving yourself that hurts you.

The real secret of an incredible relationship has absolutely nothing to do with the other person. It has to do with you. You can only love as much as your heart is capable of loving. Not just that person but anything. There's only one door to the heart. You can't keep it closed to all kinds of people and all kinds of things and all kinds of situations but think well the right person, then I'll open it for him. It doesn't work that way. It's one door. So your ability to love period is the basis for a great relationship. How much am I capable of loving. How passionate am I about life.

How much am I capable of loving the sunrise, this day, my dog, myself. If you are conditionally loving things. I love this a little bit, I love... I'm not talking about preferences but when there's something you really care about, if you don't know how to give yourself to it a hundred percent, when the right person comes along you won't know how to love him or her. If you think the other person's going to do things to make you love them, that's a misunderstanding. Your love has a life of it's own. And your ability to love has nothing to do with if the person is pleasing you or not. It has to do with how much your heart is ready to just jump into the fire.

Answer 3

he might only be making it seem like he is having the time of his life. maybe he puts up a front for you to see to make you think that he's happy when he's really not. people deal with things in different ways.

Answer 4

I've been told by men.
That most men tell you what you want to hear until something better comes along.
So its in their mind that you are replaceable at any time.

Answer 5

b/c he's a guy and guys really dont like to be ''tied down'' so now that he's ''free'' he's just doin his own thing but once it all comes down to it he'll want you back b/c he'll get lonley but by that time you have had time to get over it.

Answer 6

Obviously you are concentrating on him more than you are concentrating on yourself.