My husband cheated on me. I want him back.?

Question

My husband just came back from being away in training for two months. I found out (and this is a for sure yes) that he cheated on me with someone who was in his class several times. He knows I'm suspicious but I haven't told him I have the proof and I don't plan on telling him. I want my marriage and I love him. I have forgiven him in my heart and mind, that's not the problem. My problem is we are still living in the same household and will be for another three months until I can get on my feet (financially) for the sake of our children. He won't sleep in the same bed with me or give me any sign of affection (says his mind's set). He told me no matter how hard he tried I was never happy and he gets angry thinking of all our fights and the low blows I would give him and vice-versa. I told him I was over it, apologized, & that our marriage is mendable. What do I do to win his love back? Please help. (and the whore is states away back with her husband, so i dont worry about her). Help me

Answer 1

There will be some other whore sometime later......think about that!

Answer 2

You should definitely confront him on his affair. Nothing will be fixed in your relationship until all of the truth comes out. This is especially true if he is not affectionate with you. He may be having an affair with someone else right now. It doesn't sound like he cares too much how YOU feel. You can't make a relationship work if you are the only one trying. Sit him down, have a very serious talk with him, tell him you know about his cheating and are willing to forgive him, and try to work on your marriage only if he commits to change.
As for the kids, they will be okay as long as you and your husband always reassure them that no matter what happens between you and him, that they are loved. Kids sense when there are problems and fighting constantly does more damage in the long run than a divorce.
Good luck to you. I hope it all works out for the good of all of you.

Answer 3

I think from what I just read in your letter that he has decided that your marriage is over for good. So if he is at that point now he won't change his mind period, he's moved on. That why the two of you are living under the same roof with different lives. Ask yourself this question if the girl he cheated with lives states away from you .How can you not think he wouldn't cheat again near your home? The only way you can try to repair your marriage is to sit down and talk openly about everything that has happend. The two of you need to decide if you want to make a go of it and start a new ground again. Good luck!

Answer 4

You take your husband and get him into marriage counseling and get help for the both of you. If the problems are not fixed nothing will ever get better and your husband will never be right to you. He is pushing you away out of guilt and possibly confused feelings about this other woman. I understand that you see this woman as a whore but your husband may not see her that way. You need intervention here and all honesty needs to come out and be faced together for things to be right. Even though you think you can handle his cheating on you ...one day it may hit you like a ton of bricks and come back to haunt you. He hurt your trust and he needs to be accountable for betraying his marriage to you otherwise the problem will keep repeating itself. He has to understand why he did this and so do you and you both need to know what precautions he will take in never cheating on you again.

Answer 5

Well honey right now is all about him, it looks like you are willing to work things out but if he doesn't want to meet you half way then the deal is over, I know you are looking and trying everything to save your marriage and I feel for you being a forgiven person is a gift from God is like a talent, not many people are willing to forgive and forget, but if he doesn't want to stay you can't make him, is time for you to start accepting how real this is, God is going to help you look to your children be strong for them, he will soon find out what is lost.. good luck.

Answer 6

I'm sorry that things are not going well.

He is using the excuse that it is "your fault" when he says things like, "no matter how hard he tries he can't make you happy" or keeps bringing up the "low blows". He is the one who chose to cheat instead of, working things out. Ask yourself if you can really ever trust him again? and do you want to put your heart in a position of being broken over and over again?
The fact is, we can't make someone love us, they have to choose to do so. There is something you can do for yourself though and that is, love you. Instead of trying to win back his love, try changing those things about you that you don't like about yourself. If he really does love you he will see the positive changes and take notice. If he does, I suggest you two to go to marriage counseling to deal with the issues that are disrupting your marriage.

Hang in there and keep praying, God will send you peace.

Answer 7

Put some romance back in your life do some of the things you did to win his heart to begin with. Show him that you love him. Marriage is hard and you have to be willing to wake up each morning showing each other how much you love each other, and go to bed every nite with out being angry. It's hard to deal with the cheating exspecaially knowing all the diseases out there but talking is a big part of communicating and if your not communicating than you need to try. Sometimes with our days things get so busy we just want to go to bed instead of finding out how someone's day was. Or just by telling them how much we miss them. My husband and I have had lot's of problems he has cheated and I coulden't tell you how many times I have had to go through what you are going through we don't sleep in the same bed any more but that's because he don't like our bed actually I don't either so I will just go where he is and lay down with him just to have him close sometimes. It's easy to tell someone you love them it's harder proving to them how much you love them and need them. Good luck I know it will be hard just remember anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Answer 8

If he strayed once he will again.....he may have even strayed before but you have not caught him those times. No matter how bad the marriage is you do not cheat! It might not be easy but if you leave before he gives you AIDS, HIV, or an STD and life gets really hard for you and your children. He is not the only man in the world and you will get over him and find a man who will make you and your children much happier than he has.

Answer 9

You say "and the whore is states away back with her husband, so i dont worry about her"

Your husband was a whore as well for cheating on you. I can't believe you can be so stupid as to even bother trying to revive this dead duck of a marriage.

Answer 10

Sounds like your husband is not willing to give your marriage a chance. You have to convince him to go to marital counseling. Cheating is too big of a deal to be just ignored. If you don't have children maybe it would be better for you to go your own way.

As an ex-wife of a cheater, I forgave him the first time, then I ended up forgiving him a second time....a third time....a fourth time.....I spent years forgiving. You don't want to be trapped in that pattern.

Answer 11

Dont blame the whore she means nothing to you. But your husband is the one that cheated on you. The main question is can you trust him again? If not you'll only make life worse for you & your kids. It is never going to be your fault for him cheating but it will both at fault for marriage probles. What ever happens make sure the kids know it has nothing to do with them & they have equal time with both parents without feeling guilty.