what do you think of a married couples who sleeps in a separate room,do you think there is love?

Question

in that marriage or not?

Answer 1

Love need not be physical. They may have separate interests, one of them may have sleeping disorder and may not want to disturb the partner.

I feel sleeping in the same bed or in separate beds or in different rooms etc., are personal preferences and have no direct link to love (unless they fight over such issues).

Answer 2

I think there is everything wrong with that. What starts out as sleeping in separate bedrooms because one snores or twitches soon turns into preferring to sleep in separate bedrooms which then turns into a lack of intimacy then separation and divorce. I know it seems a bit mellow dramatic but it's true. One person said that love need not be physical and that's true, it doesn't need to be all the time. However, sleeping in the same bed offers other things. That hug and kiss before going to sleep, talking to one another after the lights are turned out, holding hands as you fall asleep. These seemingly insignificant things are the glue that hold a marriage together. The big pieces are love, respect, sex etc. but without the glue to hold it all together it just falls apart eventually. Trust me on this...it may seem like no big deal in the beginning and you probably won't even notice when it starts to be an issue until one day either you or your spouse wakes up and realizes that you have grown so far apart that you can't mend it.

Answer 3

The reason we feel we need to have our spouse in bed with us is comfort and security. There is nothing like crawling into bed at the end of the day together and maybe getting a good snuggle or talking about the day that has past or the day to come. I don't always get to do that because my husband received a serious back injury about six years ago and many nights I have to sleep on the couch so that I don't hurt him during the night.

I miss him on those nights. I can't feel him there, his warmth and and his strength are not next to me and I am lonely. But I still love him, or I would not feel so empty.

Then there are the nights we have a fight and i sleep on the couch.I need space too and sometimes I need to cool down my temper and I can't do that if I am in the same room with him. I still love him, but i am just upset and don't want to say something that can never be taken back.

Marriage is about compromise and understanding. Sometimes that means not being able to sleep together.You may lose that simple intimacy, but gain a respect for eachother for that others will not understand because you willing to sacrafice for eachother in a true mature way.

So yes there is love, more love than most can believe.

Answer 4

Maybe one of the couple has restless leg syndrome. This is a condition in which you feel that you have to move the legs constantly. People with diabetes sometimes have this. And sometime people snore so loudly that sleep is impossible. In cases like this, sleeping in separate rooms can save the marriage. Friends of mine have this problem, the husband has diabetes, he just had veins removed from his torso and put in his legs to have better circulation. She loves him dearly, but she says if she does not get at least 6 hours of sleep she cannot function. Have some compassion.

Answer 5

Of course it is a marriage! Is there a rule written somewhere that you have to sleep in the same bed in order to love, honour and respect someone? I think not.

Historically it has only been in the past 60 years that married couples have shared the same room. Until then it was the norm for each person to have their own bedroom.

Answer 6

I think it depends on the couple. According to a DEAR ABBY article, "It seems the practice isn't as unusual as some might think."

Here are some excerpts from that article:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I also sleep in separate rooms. We are embarrassed to let people know we don't sleep together because they automatically assume we're not getting along. We still have a very close relationship and always will.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I haven't shared a bed for 15 of the 20 years we've been married. It saved our marriage. He's a night owl; I'm an early-to-bed, early-to-rise type who sleeps very lightly. Sharing a bedroom is not a part of the marriage vows. It's whatever works best for the couple -- and nobody else's business.

DEAR ABBY: After 25 years of marriage, we use separate bedrooms, too. I have insomnia and am going through menopause. My cowboy sleeps with a lot of covers and is always cold. We tell anyone who questions our arrangement that sharing a bed doesn't guarantee sex all the time. With us, I ask my cowboy, "Should I go to the Holiday Inn or Best Western tonight?" It works for us, and we sleep great.

DEAR ABBY: Sleeping in separate rooms saved my marriage. For years, we forced ourselves to share the same bed. I finally got mad and slept in the guest room one night. We both woke up the next morning relatively sane! The only one who has a hard time with this is the family dog, who now must rotate between bedrooms. We have no problem arranging "together time." As for family members, it's none of their business.

DEAR ABBY: It took our marriage to almost fail before we realized we just needed to sleep apart. Our physical relationship improved after we used separate bedrooms because we were better rested and not so irritable with each other.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a morning person, in bed by 10:30 p.m. My husband usually stays up till 1 a.m. Having separate bedrooms works beautifully for us. When I retire at night, he rubs my feet with cream. In the morning, I bring him his coffee in bed.

Everyone needs time to themselves. I have my alone time in the morning; he has his at night. We're always happy to see each other after our alone time. For 45 years, this has worked perfectly for us. When anyone acts surprised that we have separate bedrooms, we always say, "Oh, but we have plenty of visitation!" That gets 'em.

Answer 7

I think they have their own reasons for this. I had grandparents who had different bedrooms and they loved each other very much...grandpa just snored to loud...i had another set that shared a room but different beds...this is how it was for them...they couldn't have been more in love. So yes it is a marriage very much. Besides you should not worry about what goes on in others bedrooms as it is not for the world to know.

Answer 8

What does it matter where they sleep? I've never understood this, how people make such a big deal over it. Sleep where ever you are comfortable, be it the couch, the floor, the bed, the guest room. Whatever! What matters is how the couple feels about each other and how they treat each other. Not where they sleep.

Answer 9

There still could be I guess it all depends on why the separate rooms. Does one snore extremely loudly, or is one on a BiPAP machine that keeps the other awake? I can see some reasons why they might need separate rooms but still love one another but it really doesn't sound good does it?

Answer 10

If they sleep apart because of some physical problem or for some unbearable quirk like snoring, then, yes, there may well be love in that marriage. However, if they sleep apart because they can't stand each other, then that's another story...