Why don't feminists recognize, apologize for, or differentiate the behavior of the most women to a greater ..?

Question

.....extent?
Most women, like most men, are complacent opportunists. It doesn't make most women and men necessarily bad people, just too lazy and selfish to uphold any "philosophy" other than me-first. Then along comes feminism, which during earlier phases tried to appeal to all women. If you're a feminist, and you recognize that most women (feminist or not) do not live up to any philosophy other than me-first, what are you doing about it?

Maybe you say that's their choice. Maybe you deny, then defend their behavior when you can't deny it any longer.

From my perspective, things are improving on this forum with regards to differentiation. Great answers so far.

Answer 1

Feminism is not only a philosophy, type of behaviour, etc. of any given individual. It is a term describing a sociological trend which influences people and systems without them even realizing it. Some of these changes are actively sought for, but some of them just happen as a result of outside influences such as the rise of industrialism. Many men and women behave in a "feminist" way who don´t like the sound of that word. Another important point is that there are many varying points of view or feminisms. You can see especially big differences between feminism in various countries. These differences also show themselves in the form that the striving for equality takes. Sometimes the solution to the same difficulty, even though the goal is the same, is quite opposite. For example, Czech feminists add feminine grammatical endings to names of professions to emphasize that also women do them, whereas Polish feminists show their desire to be equal to men by leaving off the feminine grammatical endings. These kinds of decisions are usually made by intellectuals and eventually become accepted as standard norms by people who, left to themselves, probably wouldn´t give such matters much thought.In any case, back to individuals, I couldn´t force anyone else to accept my version of feminism, just like various types of Christians constantly try to force their version of that religion on others are without success. Any kind of personal philosophy is a matter of individual conscience just as common behaviour derives from the accepted habits of the given group or society. All of this is constantly evolving, which often means two steps forward and one step back.

Answer 2

I don't see why men should apologize for the behavior of men who act out, so why should feminists (who are men and women) apologize for people who say they are feminists, but either don't know what it means, or are imperfect, and can't be perfect feminists? Men and women can try to educate others about how their actions affect them and society, but none of us are responsible for the actions of other adults (children are different of course). How can any of us control the behavior of other adults? Ultimately, each man and woman decides for themselves how they think and behave.

I think you're being extremely unrealistic to think that any group of people could come up with an ideology that millions of people would not only agree with, but millions of people would interpret the ideology in the exact same way and would all act on their beliefs exactly in the same way. That's what it sounds like people expect of feminism, which is impossible.

Answer 3

I think that we could discuss this issue...the 'me-first' issue...without ever bringing feminism into the equation. The worst offenders, I think you will find, are not feminists...they are young, selfish and entitled women who do not believe that their lives should be put second to anyone...including their children.

Where feminism might come into play is in the bastardization of its interpretation by these such women....who use feminism as an excuse for their behaviour. But in truth, there is no excuse for it. We are seeing the effects of the 'me-first' attitude all around us...gross indulgences of natural resources without any concern for the planet or our environment, an economy that is seeing individual debt at an all-time, dangerous high and disrespectful, selfish children who are following in step with the 'me-first' agenda.

I suppose, to a great degree, I was a part of that mindset in the past. I was single, a business owner and had no dependents to worry about in my life. I owned a sports car AND an SUV, because I could. I had clothing in my closet that still had sales tags on them. I didn't worry about the cost of things. But then my life changed...for the better. I found happiness in something other than my self-centredness and was provided with the opportunity to live a different kind of life. In so doing, I now focus a great deal of my time in helping others...those who cannot afford much of a life, or have little opportunity to get themselves out of the hole they are in. 'Me-first' repulses me, and when I see it in young women today, I am quick to point it out to them. I'm sure they don't appreciate it, but I'm hoping that, with a little maturity, my words may have an impact on them in the future....

Answer 4

I think we do differentiate -- how many times have you read an answer here that points out the diversity of women in general and also among those who call themselves feminists? I've seen it more times than I can count.

The "me-first" mindset is a different social problem, completely separate from feminism. It crosses gender lines, as you have said, and it is such a strong driving force because it is the manifestation of survival instinct. Whether it is a useful action to promote survival of the species remains to be seen.

I don't apologize for the actions and attitudes of others, unless I am in a position of supervising them, e.g., my own children. I figure they will get what they deserve (karma, reap what you sow -- choose your favorite cliche). Personal responsibility is a virtue that is sorely lacking in our society, but the only influence I have is the example I make with my own life.

I don't get why some questioners want to blame the rational, responsible women for the actions of the irrational women, or try to hold them accountable. Unless they are my family members or my employees, I'm not responsible for them.
And I don't mean to point the finger at you, Portwine, because a number of male users have asked, even demanded the same.

EDIT: To Cassius - Most PEOPLE, both men and women, regardless of their ideology, dont think of other people, or society for that matter. You are using this info to bash feminism, when really it is 80% of society at large that deserves criticism.

Answer 5

I talked until I was blue in the face. I gave hours of service helping women who couldn't help themselves. If you think being a feminist is just about marching, burning bras, and carrying protest signs, you have another thought coming. Sometimes it was about bringing food to women who's husband wouldn't buy their family food because she couldn't make him give her the money to do so.. And sometimes it meant finding lawyers to help a woman get out of an abusive marriage because she didn't have her own money to pay for a lawyer herself. Other times, it was about making the local police capture a serial rapist and to take the numbers of victims seriously. Many times, it was just about being present in the moment while a mother cried her heart out about her baby dying from SIDS, and then getting busy to make sure that information about the numbers of SIDS victims are known throughout the county. A lot of that sort of work was done by feminist, as well as the other good work folks are worried about.

Answer 6

we are the two individually distinctive, and yet equivalent. We shouldn't bias or misread intelligence or actual applications via gender, as all of us have our very own individual abilities, individual innovations, and issues that we excel at individually. On a philosophical foundation, any feminist, or any masculinest, are the two naive and blind in studying the different genders traits, as we the two deliver the two stable and distinctive issues to the spectrum of humanity. subsequently; the stability of existence. all of us who might deny it could no longer settle for it.

Answer 7

Actually you know and have the answer to this don't you.
So far be it from me to give you my thoughts.
Ok but it's me and I will.
So:
Me first it is as, you know human nature regardless of gender.
I do not know what the philosophy of feminism is per se.
I just attempt to live my life according to the way my grandmother raised me.
So she always taught me to be kind to my fellow beings.
To always acknowledge their opinions, to be respectful, and to be prepared for the brick bats when they came.
Clever woman my granny.
Listened and learned much from her.
So my daughters have been raised with the same philosophy.
PortWine you would adore them because they are feisty, have both of them a great sense of humour and think it's great their mum is on here.
There you go.

Answer 8

As always, your 'question' is so chock-a-block full of fallacious arguments I haven't the energy to address them all. Suffice it to say:

1. "Feminists" are not one homogeneous group. Rather

2. "Feminists" are individual people.
3. It doesn't make sense to ask individual people to apologize for the behavior of other individual people

Should I apologise for the 'behavior' of David Duke? Why or why not?

Answer 9

After reading Happy feet's answer that feminism is a sociological trend and influences both men and women. Why don't they call it humanism studies or something?

Answer 10

Do you understand feminism? It's based on equal rights, equal pay for equal work, being taken seriously in society. It's not about "me first".