my friend is basically killing himself...?

Question

with drugs and alcohol.
hes fifteen, and i doubt if i knew he was into drugs i would have become so close to him [wow, that sounded horrible.]
i recently found out that he smokes, takes wight loss pills, drinks alot, and a few other drugs. and he just thinks it so funny. he texted me saying 'i just got pills that make you lose weight and make your muscles bigger. lol' uhm, isnt that basically steriods? anyway, hes almost anorexic as it is. he smokes three packs of cigerettes a weekend[aparently he doesnt smoke durning the week...?] and its not only killing himself slowly, but its killing ME, because i would be hurt if i ever lost him. i have told him i really dont like seeing him like this many many times, told him how skinny he is, and that if anything he should eat more, and told him to stop smoking. i mean, if he gave up one of these things id be slightly happier. is there anything else i can do, at all to help him?

Answer 1

Basically, it sounds like you've already taken the first step - and that is .........telling him how you felt about his actions & how you didn't approve. But, did you tell him what the cost of doing all that would do to him and to you ?? ... IF there is NO cost involved , then there is still nothing to lose !! understand ?? So he is still in same situation. But, if he has something "tangible" to "lose" if he doesn't "change his ways", then YOU have some leverage to work with to hopefully get him to change his mind.
If all the talking still doesn't work..... then you have to resort to a more pro-active approach.
And that means........ Literally, getting others to help you physically take the crap out of his hands. And to tie him down, if necessary until you get him over this hump.
That is the only safe way you are assured that he will be over it. Everyone you get must be 100% fully determined to help you, nobody can flake out on you.
> This person is ONLY 15 !!!!!!!!
There is NO REASON FOR THIS.
He has his WHOLE LIFE ahead of him.
>>If he doesn't buy you dozans of roses for the rest of your life when he is all straightened out.... send him to me.....
so I can kick him in the butt. He will owe you his life ♥

Answer 2

slightly happier??? or a lot happier??? 15 is a very tender age n ur right... u must do something to get him out of it... And 1 thing is for sure... He wouldnt give up coz he is certainly not aware of what might happen in the future... If u want to make a considerable change, the only way u have is to talk to some adults, perhaps his parents or guardians and get him into a rehab... He's too young to even understand intoxication... He'll definitely regret all of it at some point of time...may be its too late... u definitely are his guardian angel in disguise that u are so much worried bout him... Its a hell of a serious issue and if he thinks its just for fun, he's definitely gonna be in a soup... You're right... May be he dies sometime soon coz of this, like so many celebs died of drug overdose n stuff... So, plz plz talk to someone about it so that none of u will hav to repent in the future... Hope things end up well... Good luck

Answer 3

I think you're being nasty. The best relationships arise from friendships, but if that's not what you wanted, that's fine. I'm not clear on whether or not you actually did decide to date or not. You only said, "he wanted us to be more than friends for a few months." It never states what you wanted or what actually happened. It sounds like he's immature and said some stupid things, granted. But you're not willing to forgive him, even though you were really close friends once? He's clearly freaking out and has no idea what to do or say, and needs you as a friend now more than ever. I'm sure people will tell you "threatening to kill yourself is never okay" but teenagers do it all the time. I see it here on the boards every single day. I see it on other forums every single day. It seems like the default response that teenagers turn to when "I'm serious" doesn't cut it. Rather than abandon him, have a serious face to face discussion. Tell him that what he said was inappropriate and made you very uncomfortable. See what he says before you decide that you "don't want to be friends or forgive him." Have some compassion.

Answer 4

there is always a reason why people take drugs and alcohol and since your friend is abusing so many types the reasons may be very complex. he is taking weight loss pills because he has a distorted body image. the smoking and alcohol may be to drown out his hunger and to appear cool. smoking only at the weekend makes him feel he is still in control of his habit.

u still want to be his friend but drug issues are rarely solved by offering support. he needs help fast before he kills himself. if u really like him as u say, please offer tough love- just rat on him to someone who can help him. if his parents have not noticed there is something wrong with him they are a major cause of his problem. perhaps the school counselor, or a trusted adult?

Answer 5

I think you should talk to his parents. Obviously talking to him yourself has not done anything. Talk to his parents and let them know you are really concerned about him. Or talk to your own parents and let them talk to his parents. The important thing is that which ever set confronts him about it does it in a non threatening way. If they just yell and scream at him than that will not help him in the least. He needs to realize that he has a problem. The only way he is going to be able to stop these things is if he wants to do it for himself. I have learned from my own experience that quitting smoking is extremely hard to do and it is even harder if your only doing it because someone else wants you to. I have also had others tell me that quiting smoking is harder than quitting drinking and other drugs. I hope you guys are able to get through to him. I hope my answer helps. Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 6

I had a friend kinda like that who just smoked a ton of weed and did shrooms and stuff like that (nothing too extreme). Anyway one of his friends *not me* told his parents who then called my friend's parents and they started drug testing him. So he quit for a while but then started back up, so i guess it didn't do all that much after all. So the point is that if someone is gonna quit doin something like that then they have to want it, not just you.

Answer 7

drop him as a bf. he is not his true self. only when he is clean he will be his true self. tell his parents so he can get some help. he will probably not like u to much but u r trying to save his life so keep that in mind. think about how u would feel if dies cus of drugs and u didnt at least try to help him. and keep in mind u mite not be able to.

Answer 8

Why should you need him to make you happy? You aren't doing a damn thing for him except, it seems, nagging him and staying away. What he needs to get through whatever it is hes going through is truly supportive friends that will be there no matter what. Not just when he does what others want him to.

Answer 9

I am an ex drug addict and the only person who can help is the person themself, no manner of talk from friends or so called experts will do a thing, its up to him and him alone, if anything your constant badgering will drive them away from you

Answer 10

tell him that your worried about him and that your completly scared for his health
and ask him to go to his doctor and he'll proberly refur him to councilling to help him deal with the drugs and pills and alcohols
If he wont listen theres a little you can do
You did all you can, if he wants to ruin his life then thats his problem
But just let him know that your gonna try nd do anything to help him
Good luck!
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