Why does a woman endlessly wait for her man to propose to her instead of doing it herself and be done with it?

Question

Sorry, being a man I couldn't ask the question in a nicer way.

Kath..... your answer is nice enough so far as I can see!! Thanks!!

pharaoh_102....... I thought in 'nikah', it is the woman who says 'kubool' meaning I accept...... or am I mistaken about this?

luvuchaitu........ I deliberately put this question here expecting objective answers.... philosophers like you have a knack as well as the skill of pondering over and answering any question on earth in a succinct and objective manner!!

Answer 1

because a proposal is the ultimate flattery.

Answer 2

Children take time and money. Women usually provide most the time, Men most the money.

So Legal Marriage is more or less the process of attaching a man's wallet to a woman's offspring. The 'commitment' being made IS the man's wallet, so it is traditional for the man to propose the commitment.

Why women put up with non proposing men is a different story. The collective Darwinian ignorance of Gloria Steinem and Hugh Hefner is staggering. Women are taught that the innate dependency of motherhood is a plot. Men are taught marriage is a trap. Injunctions against pre-marital sex are considered archaic.

Why buy the cow if the milks free? If a guy is getting regular sex, why commit his wallet? After all, marriage is a trap.

And there's nothing like a Women's studies class to teach a girl that marriage is a plot by men to enslave women. Best take a pill and just use those evil creatures for sex. Why would you even want to be committed to someone whose entire focus is the oppression of your gender?

Women are hesitant to press the issue of their 'enslavement' while being fully willing to provide the 'payment' of sex without the promise of commitment. And the paradigm of Feminism has one last parting gift; it allows women to blame the complete mismanagement of their love life on men.

Answer 3

Mating behavior differs with every species.In the human species females adopt a certain behavior pattern designed to attract the male. It is to boost the male ego that a woman acts shy, dependent and even ignorant.Women with a child like face are considered most attractive.Man feels protective and powerful with such a woman.So women will not do anything to damage this image.

Answer 4

well, from the things i'm learning in my women's studies, i do believe that society is culprit, if not the aggressor of this stereotype moral beliefs. way back when iwasn't born before, my parents used to say that people back then are very, morally conscious of their actions, that's why women were supposed to wait for the man to make the first everything. like in our culture, the man is always the first to initiate any communication, and before that he has to go all the way from the woman's parents down to her kins for approval. after that there is this long ceremony of courtship where the man 'serves' the woman's family and so on. i mean, it's along standing moral belief that a woman is not supposed to make the first move because it's morally unappropriate, and society will label women as sluts or whores if ever women get to make any initiation with her man or any man. in this generation today, i think that lots of women are more liberated and open-minded, socially and morally unconstrained to act independently, as well as carrying on a relationship with a man in her initiation. i guess it's our time to be empowered with stuffs like career and jobs and relationships, although i must admit that i'm still bound by this moral belief that the man always proposes to the woman and i have to wait for it. i guess old habits [beliefs, for that matter] die hard even with changing times. but in line with today's era, i'm in the position where i can make subtle hints to my man if i'm getting a little impatient, aren't i? heh. =)

Answer 5

Small I believe in the old fashion days when men were men and women were women :)) I think the feelings should be mutual can never chase after love and marriage and commitment the two people have to love each other freely................with no conditions

Just think would you want your friend to love your JUST BECAUSE.. you want your spouse to love you because they choose to be in your life and care about you and love you Free will............
The man should always ask the woman that is the tradition ...I would never ask the man to marry me haheheheh even though I have met men that i loved adored right on the spot hahahehe

Answer 6

Due to cultural conditioning, most people expect men and women to play certain roles, and because of these different roles, their perceptions of different situations are radically different. For example, in one sociological study, people were asked several questions by a very attractive member of the opposite sex. The last question was "Would you sleep with me?" In this particular study, no women said yes, but 70 percent of men said yes. This is a human cultural thing, but it has biological roots. Throughout the animal world, males have to spend significant time and energy courting females before the females agree to have sex. One classic example is a type of insect in which the courting ritual requires the males to capture a fly, wrap it in a ball of spittle, then present it to the female as a gift. Depending on the size and tastiness of the male's offering, she might consider mating with him. My basic point is that males have to play the role of the pursuer, while females play the role of the pursued. Even if a woman really wants a man, she must be careful not to play the role of pursuer. This is partly a matter of strategy, because if the male feels pursued, he may "sense that there is something wrong" and flee, but it is also a matter of self-image for many women. Women, in general, are used to the idea that on any day they could have sex with 70 percent of the men they meet, while men are used to the idea that on any given day, no women will have sex with them unless they put some time, thought, and effort into playing their cards just exactly right. Given this background, most women are used to being fairly picky about who they sleep with, and they will feel personally degraded if they have to pursue a man. All of this biological and cultural baggage carries over into the realm of marriage proposals. Women feel a deep need to feel that they are the one pursued, not the pursuer. If she has to be the one to ask, then her sense of self-worth may be endangered. Human cultural conditioning is malleable enough to overcome the genetic tendencies (in the right cultural context, women could take the initiative in proposing marriage without loss of self-esteem), but I suspect this can only happen if some way is found to preserve the overall sense of males as pursuer. And, of course, all of this is statistical in nature. There is always plenty of room for individuals to go against the statistical norms.

Answer 7

Bcoz from the very start which is adam & eve, it is adam who walk up & broke the question to eve and bcoz man can't live without a women at their side, right? u want women u ask them. and another thing it's about "the male ego". they want that they are incharge, right? sorry , being a woman i couldn't answer ur question in a nicer way.

Answer 8

it is normal in the muslim culture for a woman to propose to a man to be her husband.

additionally, it is a traditionally accepted norm ,for the man was the breadwinner, his privilege to choose whom he likes.

on the other hand , stated in the kama sutra by vatsyayana, "men by nature despise women who are easily get", something with his testosterone level of making one to "hunt" and "conquer

bout the "nikah" it's basically marriage of two consenting people..

Answer 9

because our society has made it clear that the man should ask the woman. if not, it might be looked at as weird. even though it isn't really. just the way ppl perceive things i guess.

Answer 10

Because Men are foolish they can only do wrong things in wrong places.
e.g. Asking This question under philosophy.