My husband and I got married October 2005. I paid for the wedding, got no ring, and have been very dissatisfied and embarrassed by the entire event. We met each other online earlier in 2005 and in a spare whim got hitched. The sex we had in the beginning of the relationship created my son who is 12 months old who I love more than anything in this world. I only knew this man from his IMs and from 5 months of in person contact before the October marriage. He lied a lot about who he was, his past, etc... I can't stand his family either and have many issues with this. I feel really disconnected from him and I don't even find him attractive. I can't stand him. I try to for the sake of our son but I just can't do it. I basically fell out of love with him. I don't know what to do. Is there a way to reconnect with him? Asides from the lying and a few verbal outbursts he isn't a BAD person, just someone needing redirection. I just don't know what to do. I feel so old and ick and I'm only 24.
2007-09-03 21:37:38 · 6 answers · asked by mizrox@verizon.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We communicate good. He knows most of how I think and I know how he thinks too. He blames me for taking him from his fun days of liquor and clubs and caging him into a family environment. We're both MISERABLE! He still says he loves me etc... I think he's more connected to me than I to him.
2007-09-03 21:40:43 · update #1
Marriage counseling is out of the question as it's too expensive.
2007-09-03 21:41:30 · update #2
Well i think for the best of the child you should stay seperated. Yes you want to stay together for the child but it will be better not to stay together. Just think when the baby gets old enough to understand stuff. The baby will see you two argue, fight or whatever else you two do. and when you fall out of love with someone.It is really hard to fall back into love with that person. I mean you can but it is hard. I have went thru the same and i felt like i was 80 and im only 25. It because all the stress you have inside which makes your body feel weak and outrun.. I am still friends with my ex but i feel alot better no being with her...You should maybe give it some time. Become friends with him. And if something more comes down the road then maybe it is meant to be..
2007-09-03 21:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by chriswh90 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without marriage counseling, it is going to be rather hard to reconnect with someone you don't really trust because of lies.
As hard as it is to admit, you did not really know this man when you married him...just the image he presented while on line which seems to be a litany of lies.
You can try talk with him and explaining your feeling but if you really feel disconnected...it might be time to move on. I know this is harder with a young son but you must decide what is best for you in the long run. You son will adapt as children always do...Good luck and I wish you happiness.
2007-09-03 22:12:41 · answer #2 · answered by missyj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why reconnect with your spouse when you have already indicated it's time to move on?
2007-09-03 21:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. There's someone out there for you. You shouldn't feel obligated to stay. After all, you did pay for the wedding and have no ring. He feels "caged" because he never wanted the married life in the first place, it was a fantasy. Now that you know this, move on. It'll get better, trust me.
2007-09-03 22:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by for7949 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been with my guy 6 years we hav 2 girls 3 an 1 (we started living together after a few weeks) and lately i hav started feeling like he misses hes old life the drinkin, friends stayin out all night sleeping in ect... so we came up with an arangement that has worked for both of us... he has moved out and we are dateing, it might seem weird but after 12 months if things aint back to how they should b we are seperating... it might work for you 2... good luck
2007-09-03 22:20:05 · answer #5 · answered by angelz@princess265 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong for wanting to leave... If you don't love him, then start over
2007-09-03 22:16:59 · answer #6 · answered by Traci S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your disappointed and your reality doesn't match your expectations. have u tried spiritual counseling from a church. but if u don't love him why bother to reconcile or try anymore, its just a waste of time.
2007-09-03 22:39:43 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋