Are there any gay people who believe that being gay is a choice?

Question

Please note the spin on this age old question.

I have my own answer to this, but that's not what this question is for.

This should settle the debate. If there are no gay people who say they chose to be gay, then the argument that gay is a choice, is false.

If your not gay, how could you know. If you are gay, you should be able to answer the question correctly I would imagine.

Thanks for the help, and lets see if we can lay this one to rest.

Keep in mind, if your not gay, then your answer doesn’t count. This is an attempt to end a debate using Yahoo answers as a source. Sorry but this is evidence for a debate. Reliable answers only.

Answer 1

As a lifelong lesbian I say no it is not a choice. I have never been attracted to men. Didn't date in school, and was always attracted to my female teachers, and female students. I am now 55, and still a lesbian. I had one "boyfriend" as an adult, to please my family. I had a baby, then just left the guy. I wanted to be with a woman.

Answer 2

Hi, am Gay and I am 33 yrs young!

Eversince I became aware of myself as a person I have been Gay. Never occured to me to "choose" being gay. on the other hand under family pressure I did think if I could "choose" to marry a girl for a so called "normal" life, but came to the conclusion that I cannot choose to be "straight". The same goes for being Gay, either you are or You are not. Dont really think there is any debate about that in my head, heart or soul.

Why do people want to debate is beyond my perception.
Whatever our sexual likings be, arent we all human at the core, and should'nt that be important?

In one word to be Gay is NOT a choice.

A gay person IS.

People who'd say that its a choice are just plain opportunists!

thanks

Answer 3

No, being gay is definitley not a choice. I mean you don't CHOSE to be gay when you're 12 or 13 (which is the age where I found out i was gay). hell at that age you don't even know what it means. What happened to me personally was that for some reason i lost attraction to females, and I didn't know why. Then i started feeling something towards males, at first it started out even less than an attraction, and I didn't understand what it was. When i found out that it was an attraction, and eventually discovered that I'm GAY, i was in denial about it at first, cause it seemed odd even to me, and God knows how many times i tried to change it, tried to change my thoughts and the way I feel. I tried to block out my fantasies and feelings. but in the end, i came to peace with it, and accepted it, and now i'm just trying to live my life the way i was made to live--not the way i CHOSE to live, because being gay brings a lot of trouble, you have forbidden love (which is so not sexy by the way), you have to keep your love life secret from everyone, you have to lie and pretend, you have people asking you "when are u gonna get a girlfriend" every 10 minutes, and you have to worry about breaking your family's heart or letting them down one day when / if they find out you are gay. Does this lifestyle seem like a concious choice to you?
People think it's easy for us, but it's not. It's simply something that rules our lives, but eventually we cope with it, accept it, deal with it, and well... try to make the best of it ;)

Answer 4

I was in denial for several years when I found out I was gay. I didn't come to terms until I was 18-19. I think that should answer your question. Not a choice....

Answer 5

I would love to say it's a choice. I think saying "we're born this way" when folks say we shouldn't have rights puts us in this victim role or this "my hands are tied" pose, this sort of "well i wouldn't choose it, I was born this way".

how ****ing radical would it be to choose. To choose to bend gender norms, to be comfortable in choosing to go against the grain. it's radical. (and not it that 80's-surfer-slang way)

But for me I think my current thoughts are that it's not a choice... but I do think sexuality is more fluid than most people give it credit for and labels box us in. So then it becomes not about being gay, it's about getting rid of labels and being you. And that last part, well that would be a choice.

Answer 6

'If your not gay, how could you know. If you are gay, you should be able to answer the question correctly I would imagine. '

You did imagine. It is both choice and reality like being hetrosexual....what 'spin'.

The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative...perhaps not exactly the same way for everyone.

Answer 7

It's not my choice. It's a difficult lifestyle, I want a child with my partner and adoption is super expensive as is invitro fertilization. Plus, it sucks breaking your family's heart. Consider this when writing your debate thesis, if someone is raped or molested and then no longer dates the opposite sex, should that count as a choice? This is something that I just can't decide.

Answer 8

I'm gay. There was no choice involved.

And I like your spin on it. It really should settle it once and for all.

Answer 9

no, i am not gay.
but for research purposes, my male cousin is.
ever since he was very young, my family members did notice that something was different about him.
however, it did become somewhat obvious to us that he might be gay.
it is not like it was a learned lifestyle, both of his parents are straight and there is not anyone else that is gay in the family.
my aunt accepts it but had some difficulty of course, but we love him for who he is, not who he loves romantically.
if it is at all any help, it is not a choice.
as they say "it is what it is, I am what I am"

Answer 10

Im gay and I didnt make a choice