My husband says that there are some people that have been sexually abused................?

Question

that get on with life because they are happy outgoing people. Now to what degree can he read minds?

Answer 1

as a survivor of sexual abuse that went on for years, I can say with all assurance that with 2 years of therapy designed to heal the scars of the abuse and with a husband who had no idea what to do, but was as supportive as he could be, I lead a relatively normal life. if you are a survivor, then look for help...it's out there! if your husband is trying to tell you that you can be happy and outgoing, then I suggest that you definitely have some couples therapy...my husband said some of the most idiotic things to me before we went to therapy together...he still says stupid things! but so do I from time to time...he puts up with my mood swings, and I put up with his lack of tact from time to time.
Please im me if you need advice. My mission is to help women overcome their past. There IS life after abuse.
Kathy

Answer 2

Yes...he's right, to a point. Not everyone chooses to go on TV and make a "woe is me" statement about why they are like they are. Usually these statements come after some type of conviction or guilty plea. And isn't it always amazing how when people get caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing that suddenly they were victims in their youth and then they find Jesus and are fine. They should have found Him sooner.

Taking responsibility for their own actions is what many people can not do. They always want to blame someone or something else for their own stupidity or getting caught. I think that if there was a way to dwelve into people's mind and expose the truth about their past honestly, we would probably all be guilty or victimized and if you were victimized, more than likely you are also guilty...meaning that you may have passed on your victimization to a new victim. Prey becomes Predator.

Threats and fear keep many from coming out. Parents that refuse to believe their children keeps it quiet. To some it may happen so much that it seems the norm. While others have repressed it. Why present yourself to ridicule and more problems by announcing to the world. Like the old saying, everyone has a skeleton in the closet...somewhere.

Answer 3

I think that over the years it has been proven time and time again that there are allot of abused people out there. The only ones that we really know of are those that we hear about. However I think that I can safely say that there are literally thousands more that we will never hear about as the victim is too ashamed to say. Your husband therefore has got to be theoretically correct as these people move on living decent lives and nobody is the wiser. My question to you would be: What would make you assume that because of an abusive treatment, a stronge person cannot overcome, leading a happy and normal life?

Answer 4

When I was a teacher I had more students in my class at lunch-time than in my classes. We all laughed and played music. Kind teachers sent some kids there because there was one thing all these special group of people had in common - All those students were victims of abuse - physical, mental and sexual.

Let me tell you about Mary (not her real name)
It took Mary a year to tell me her story.
Mary was the most special person (apart from my family) I have ever met
When she was 7 yrs one of her step-father's relatives came in her room and raped her
A week later some more men came in.
Every Saturday her step-father's mates and relatives would use her.
They had GROUP sex with her.
They put her in a harness and bounced her from one to another.

The worst was when they put a beer bottle in her vagina and threatened to break it.

They put ice inside and MANY other things, often she would vomit when this happened and they made her clean it up.

Fat men, smelly men and nearly always drunk men used her.
She told me her story and then said there was worse to come
When she was 10yrs she told her mother who said (and I will never forget this)
"You little whore, you asked for it. Now go and clean the oven."
I met the mother one day at her house. The mother was wearing 2 tassles on her breasts and nothing else -despite the fact I was her daughter's teacher who had run her daughter home after a school concert (I had run several students home because of the weather)
The mother complained that Mary had not made the meal, tidied up etc. The mother told Mary that she was going out to have sex with some-one at the pub despite me being there.

I asked Mary one day how she was so good and smiley.
Mary told me that she had seen nice people (like me and another nice teacher) and she saw how they behaved and wanted to be like them not like her parents.

Over the years I got Mary help and she is now married with a little girl of her own.

Yes people do get abused.Mary was the worst but I could tell you lots of similar stories about my lovely students.

I used to tell them the BEST revenge on their abusers was to live a happy life and then go back and explain to their abusers that the student's happy life was DESPITE the bastard parent not because of them. This would take power from the abuser and give it to the victim.

When I first had students tell me their life events it was scary for me. I would often go home and weep and feel ill.
Some reason abused kids told me what they did not tell others. Some students once told me that-
"You tell it as it is Miss and do not cover it up."
Also apparently "though you talk too much Miss, you also listen to words we do not use, but want to use.You hear the truth"
It often hurt hearing their stories, it hurt even more when events, doctors etc proved their tales. But I hope I helped just a few.
I was very blessed/lucky/fortunate to meet such MAGNIFICENT people as these abused students.

Answer 5

If you mean that you have experienced this kind of abuse and he talked to you as if he read your mind then I just can guess some possibilities:
He might heard it from a family member or a friend (or pricked up his ear while somebody was talking)
He might sensed it since he may know you very well as his wife
He might made a lucky guess that's all

Good luck

Answer 6

It is common knowledge that there are people who are sexually abused. A lot more than are reported. I wouldn't take what he said too seriously unles you feel he is one of those people. Find a time to ask him about his comment and tell him you understand and know that if he was abused that it was not his fault and that you still love him

Answer 7

I don't think your husband is a mind reader...lol
I think he just knows that some people no mater how bad the abused was there Strong enough to move on.

I believe some just block it out of there life, and that to me makes them strong.

Answer 8

abused he.s right on this matter many dont report this wheere there scated by who did them like that and try to live a normal life . my opion ?

Answer 9

huh?
I am not sure what that question means.
As a mental health therapist specializing in trauma and abuse, I really just don't understand.

Answer 10

I dont know, i cant read minds, lol.