my husband is fine with me till i mention a certain womens name he works with then im every nme in the book the only way i can get him to do anything for me is if i go through her but when she is away oin the weekend he treats me fine unless i say her name hell say im leaving you and her i think hes cheating we got three kids what do i do
2007-09-03 19:16:15 · 12 answers · asked by thomas f 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
im sorry but i think something is going on between your husband and this other woman...otherwise...he wouldn't be so defensive...if you think your marriage is beyond repair and you have no feelings left for him...maybe it would be better if you go your separate ways and file for child support....
2007-09-03 19:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He flips every time you mention her? Are you accusing him of something or saying her name in an offensive manner? Does he think you are jealous or something? Are you?
I'm trying to figure out WHY he feels he needs to defend her, and why he feels he needs to put you down while defending her. I think, it is TIME you confront him.
TELL him (don't ask) that from now on, he must deal with YOU directly - no more going through a third person, and especially "her" - WHY he will ask?? BECAUSE you are fed up with the backlash and put downs from him having HER involved in YOUR life. YOU did not ask for it, do not want or need it, and am NOT going to tolerate it anymore. Until he actually does change anything, take a trip to his work unannounced, and go directly to HER before he knows you are there - - start talking about your husband and how abusive he is to you and that you think he is a cheater. Watch her closely to see if she gets very nervous - then watch your husbands reaction when he realizes you are there AND telling HER personal stuff - - you will be able to figure out whats going on real fast. Then, GET A JOB, find a place to live with family for awhile, and LEAVE the emotionally abusive jerk. He has some pretty serious issues and you do not need to tolerate his anger outbursts.
2007-09-03 19:34:59 · answer #2 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
D*amn! Thought you was me for a min. My husband was doing they same thing until thankfully he was fired from that job but i think it was because of her. Before he was though he had done told me to stop calling the office to get in touch with him just call his cell phone. I know he was screwing her but I had no proof and so I stayed and things are bad all the time because I don't trust him. He lied to me to cover for her too about her calling him when he was out of town. All I can say is to keep watch and try to find proof that he is, but sounds like it to me. Good Luck
2007-09-03 19:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by teddy_bear_says_os 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's cheating, ask him flat out.
My friend is fourteen and she helped her mom find out, and her dad wouldn't say in front of her, so just ask him in private. If he says yes, then tell him that you are going to leave him because he's lost your trust and stuff.
Make it easier on the kids by ensuring 50% custody or whatever they want / the dad wants and moving close to the dad or having the dad move close to your house so that they can walk to each house and spend time with the parents, and keep in good communication. Just because he cheated doesn't mean you need to kill him for it, just leave him and that's as much consequence as he needs.
2007-09-03 19:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it's pretty obvious he is protecting HER... not you ,his WIFE. I wouldn't go through her anymore either, that's not fair to you, and The only conversation I would have with her is a confrontational one... let it all hang out, you can't do anything until you know exactly what all the pieces to this puzzle are~
Good Luck!
2007-09-04 16:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by *blah blah* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's already left...In certain situations like yours, It's all about what you want and how you want to be treated in your marriage. Sweetie, only you can allow someone else to degrade you or make you feel devalued...Stand up to this bully...If he says I'm going to leave...Help his *** pack...and...give him your lawyers name and number on his way out the door...Stand up for what you want in life...Don't put up with his BS a minute longer...Take back your respect and your life...Three kids...I know it's tough...But...right now, I want you to think about your needs and wants...okay...
Good luck..
2007-09-03 19:29:27 · answer #6 · answered by chowboss74 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should stop mentioning her name lol. Try mentioning a guy that you work with to see if he starts questioning you. make him jealous and maybe he will be nicer to you
2007-09-03 19:48:15 · answer #7 · answered by *OdCtD* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is having an affair with this woman.
2007-09-03 19:21:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your name really Thomas? Leave him and file for child support and spousal support!!!
2007-09-03 19:20:35 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump his ***. being with a cheater is only going to hurt you. confront him- if that doesnt work then its done.
2007-09-03 19:20:06 · answer #10 · answered by k 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋