My fiance is well educated but broke, divorced, co-parenting a 14 year old princess (oh, I mean daughter) every other week. His daughter is VERY rude to my son who's also 14, (his dad passed away 3 years ago, so obviously he's with me full-time). My fiance is hounding and hounding me to buy big, expensive home for us all to live in because "dating" (the going back and forth) just isn't working. We have opposite money habits, different parenting styles and we're both 57 years old. (Might I add, his dog is untrained, too.) Other than that, everything is peachy!
I need you to help me tell him that I DID buy a big fancy house (I've been "lying" because I haven't told him) but I don't want them to move in! (I'll be moving there after the 18th of Sept.) And, I don't want to get married. He has a bad temper, and he's going to be very disappointed, so: WHAT DO I TELL HIM? (Thank you!)
2007-09-03 19:09:34 · 18 answers · asked by LuckyEddie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would tell him your son comes first. And the simple fact that his princess (I mean daughter) can not get a long with your son is a huge factor for you. I would also tell him that your big fancy home that you got for you and your son is not his dog's training paper.
I would also tell him that you would need to "date" him a little longer to see if things will change and after that he may just decide not to speak to you any more and you will be off the hook on having to tell him.
And if he started to yell and let his temper get the best of him I would also let him know that his reaction is another reason you need to put him on the back burner.
2007-09-03 19:16:11 · answer #1 · answered by Kathleen B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The situation youre in is an unfortunate one but you must keep in mind that the safety of your child and yourself must come first. You said he has a bad temper so first things first I would get my family to somewhere safe and make sure he didnt find out where the new house is. And also if you dont want to marry him what the heck are you doing with him? At the age 57 you need to focus on your son and make sure he becomes successfull in his life. He probably really needs you right now and here you are worrying about youre ill tempered boyfriend who you already said you have no future with. Pay attention to your son and focus on you and your sons relationship because guys come and go but your son is your own flesh and blood. I hope you do what is right. Good luck.
2007-09-04 02:18:48 · answer #2 · answered by cup2thakizzake 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the guy a favor. Break off this sham of a engagement. Sorry about your sons loss. Of course his daughter is a princess, he and his mom turned her world upside down when they divorced. If he is so terrible why are you still around anyway. Nice of you for your son to see you lie. A great role model you are...So what you say to this man is simple. Here is the ring. I changed my mind. Now move on to raising your son. when he is 18 then you can do what the heck you want......
2007-09-04 02:24:40 · answer #3 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even with him? Don't you think you (and your son) deserve someone better? You know you do. Just tell him the truth and move on. Let him find another patsy. You need to wait for Mr. Right. Obviously he is looking for you to pay all his debts and support him and his spoiled brat daughter. Do you really want that burden? There's a reason he is divorced, and I doubt it was his ex-wife's fault, no matter what he tells you.
2007-09-04 03:06:00 · answer #4 · answered by missmuffin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you really care for him, but that you don't think that you want to move in with anyone else until after your son has grown up and moved away from home. That should hold him off for awhile. Also, tell him that you decide to buy the house for you and your son, because you wanted more room for your son to be able to entertain, so that you can keep track of who he is hanging around with.
2007-09-04 02:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so you're engaged to the guy, but you have no intentions of living with him? Ever or just until after you get married? Haha, are you even going to marry him?? It doesn't sound like it.
Just tell him the truth. Don't worry about his temper. His temper is his problem and if he ever takes it out on you, well obviously ditch the loser.
2007-09-04 02:14:15 · answer #6 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even with him? There is nothing appealling about this guy. There is no way that this can work if everything that is important is so drastically different in your lives especially your kids. Just ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship that you want to emulate for your son?
2007-09-04 02:47:32 · answer #7 · answered by mpaz1966 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that your relationship is over. You don't have to pretend that you still want to be with him even you don't really want to. Just be honest with your feelings and speak up. Tell him that you both have so many incompatibilities and you think that if you will stay together, your relationship will not last. Not to mention his bad habits as well as his daughter's. Tell him that you can't stay with a man who cannot be good enough to provide to his family, discipline his own daughter. And it will not worked for both of you
2007-09-04 02:20:51 · answer #8 · answered by arlene_reigne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but I think you guys should break up.
The fact that his kid doesnt get along with yours is enough of a reason. also, you should speak to your son and ask him what he thinks. It also sounds like he wants you for your $$ and your materialistic goods. ANd a bad temper to boot, I THINK HE NEEDS THE BOOT!!! that house is yours and it is your decision to make just be careful and not to trusting and make a good decision. GOOD LUCK!
2007-09-04 02:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by papi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you are more or less screwed and you would be better off if you had been honest with him in the beginning.
so do so now.
explain to him that there are certain things that would need to change if you are going to buy a house to live in. see his reaction. if hes willing to change then your all set, if not then why are you marrying him anyway?
2007-09-04 02:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋