It has been a week and I feel like a complete loner. My roomate is always gone even though I think that we get along fine. I like my classes and I have so much that I want to get done here but I do not know if I can do it if I have no one here. I leave my door open, I go to activities and get involved but nothing seems to be working. I distract myself with homework but all my thoughts go back to how miserable I am here. I worked very hard in High School to get here and I don't want to quit but I just cant go this. What should I do?
2007-09-03 18:54:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
I know this wont help but I feel the same way... It is probably just homesickness, or the fact of a new school. It's my third week and it gets better, I still only know like 3 people but I guess in time it will get better. Try to remember why you are there and focus on that goal.
2007-09-03 18:59:31 · answer #1 · answered by Ally... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like home sickness to me too.. not so much that you miss home, but that being at college by yourself is REALLY different. You have to realize, though, that it's pretty much the real world.. a lot of the times, you're thrust into a situation where you're TOTALLY out of your comfort zone, and you're alone. You just kind of have to get used to being your own best friend. That being said, you're doing a great thing getting involved in activities and such. Try chatting up people in your classes too, as well as hitting the hot spots around your campus (coffee joints, bookstores, etc., whatever interests you). Also try joining a club, fraternity or sport at school, or even away from school, but near campus. I'm 100% sure that you'll find some good friends in the coming weeks and months. I can totally understand why you would be feeling down now.. you're just not used to your new surroundings. It's really gonna take some time for you to get used to it, but hang in there.. I think you'll end up liking it in the end. It's great that you like your classes too, and that you have goals for yourself. That's just awesome because I'd bet half the people in college seriously don't even have that. Perhaps you can try hinting at your roommate as well that you'd like to hang out sometime. If he doesn't go for it, try your neighbors. In a few weeks, I'm sure things will be much better. Hang in there, and just keep doin' what you're doin'! :o) Good luck!
2007-09-03 19:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by Emo B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
It seems like you need to make some friends... which is perfectly fine, because basically nobody can handle college alone. Don't think you're weird or anything because you need support, because everyone does. Don't give up, it takes time to build relationships and get used to the entirely new environment that is college.
Why don't you start talking more to people in your dorm/living area? Also talk with people that share your interests in clubs, groups, etc. Join groups and take classes that interest you, and it may be easier to make friends that share your interests and that you can depend on for support.
Consider joining a religious group. I did, and some of my best friends were made as a result of that.
Also join Facebook. It's a networking site, and a cool way to stay in touch with your college friends and old high school friends...
http://www.facebook.com
Usually, classes are the hard part of college. You have a situation that should actually be easier to solve, but it will take patience. Meet people and have fun!
May God bless you.
2007-09-03 19:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it has just been a week. You can't expect to form close friendships like the ones you had back home overnight, when those probably took a long time to form too. It sounds like you are off to a start by trying to go to things and getting involved, but you may need to take the next step by making conversation out of your isolation, like saying, "Are you finding it as hard to get to know people as I am?," or something like that. Sometimes even though you know you are lonely, other people may assume you are happy the way you are, or they may be so focused on their own attempts to fit in right now that they haven't noticed that you are alone. It is harder for guys, who tend to appear less vulnerable. Another thing you can do is to pick an activity and go somewhere a lot of people are gathered, like in your dorm lounge, and say, "I feel like checking out that film they have playing," or "I think I'll go for a burger now. Does anyone else want to go?"
2007-09-03 19:08:12 · answer #4 · answered by neniaf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would limit your activities to 2 or 3 that you're really interested in. This will give you time to focus on the people and politics (how they run, what goes on) of those groups. You could also try to form study groups with other classmates. I went to a smaller college, not a university, and I found it very easy to meet people. I do not know your situation, but perhaps you would find a smaller school more preferable; you may want to consider transferring if nothing seems to work.
2007-09-03 19:01:45 · answer #5 · answered by shynotscared 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only been a week..Give it time.. And keep in mind that your there for your future, the now isn't as important as what your there to learn for the rest of your life.. Try and take class's you enjoy.. And you'll meet other people in those class's that enjoy the same thing and well it's easier to get along with people that like the same things you do.. Maybe check out the area and see if there are any places you can volunteer at...
2007-09-03 19:02:22 · answer #6 · answered by LokoLobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. You're probably just homesick. Call your family and talk to them. I promise it'll make you feel much better.The reason you went to college is to get an education. It's not meant to be a fun mass social gathering. If you make some friends along the way great! That shouldn't be your main reason for going to college. Maybe you should try getting a job on campus to try and pass the time, and maybe even make some friends. Good luck!
2007-09-03 19:09:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me too, in the beginning. I ended up getting my best friends from college, one I still talk to today about 5 times or more a day. I'm a doctor now.
Don't see it as being lonely. See yourself as a person who greatly appreciates the company of others, and those people will be there. Wait for a dance. Go drinking with people. Study with someone. Give it tiiiiiiime. You're not gonna quit, you know you're not.
2007-09-03 19:00:28 · answer #8 · answered by nitty b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a commitment. There is no backing out. Remember...the person you are IS the choices you make. You back out of a commitment now and you are a quitter. You tough it out and do what you came there to do and you are a person who overcomes obstacles in order to do what he said he was gonna do....dependable, productive, and responsible. Sorry you're not having a very good time of it right now, but that's no reason to quit. take care of your business and do what YOU gotta do. You're the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life. Who will you be? Your choice. Do the right thing.
2007-09-03 19:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by AuntTater 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have a solid career path that you're pursuing, you'd be better off it the world working.
However, you have a real opporunity to find such a path, so why are you sitting there complaining? College is a real opportunity that not many have the opportunity to take advantage of.
Why are you there? Is your family wealthy and you've just been told it's the thing to do? Either get your act together, or leave.
2007-09-03 19:00:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋