i am a 23 year old muslim male living in usa, and this girl who is almost 22 living in bangladesh, we r deeply in love with each other. we really want each other but unforetunetly she got nikah (married) not willingly with someone else, and now after 2 weeks she has to leave her house officially. and stay at her the new place. she is going crazy, she wants to be with me and i am going crazy as well, but we dont know what to do now, if we elope that would hurt our families, and its bound with family respects and all, but we cant live without each other thats for sure, now what can we do, what can i do. i have no idea, so plzz guys help me out give me ur best thoughts to overcome this nightmare.
2007-09-03 18:48:40 · 7 answers · asked by tanvir s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Married is married, willing or not. She is off limits now.
2007-09-03 20:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by missmuffin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you ever met? face to face? do you know her personally, or over the internet?
unless you have a deep personal real life relationship with her, then please for your and her sake, let it go.
If you truly know each other, having actually met and spent real time (not internet time) together then you will have to either honor your and her traditions or forsake them.
I'm guessing that at the young ages you are both at, it would be best to let it go. Stop all contact for the sake of both of your emotional well-being. She cannot try to make a life if she is contacting you or if you are contacting her. You will not be able to mourn the relationship and move on if you are continuing to spend time with her in any way.
As a Muslim man you are bound by honor to do the right thing and look at the big picture.
To overcome the sadness, volunteer somewhere that gives you a sense of doing something positive. Do not focus on the "what if's" or the "if onlys" that will only bring you grief.
Move on....
It's hard, but it's the right thing to do.
Marriage is sacred.
If you dishonor her or if she dishonors her vows or her life she has, what sort of future would either of you have?
It will be hard, but you will have peace and pride in yourself knowing that you did the right thing.
Blessings to you....
2007-09-04 02:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by Kathy S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend...Listen to me carefully...This matter is not one to be dealt with lightly. It appears that the two of you love one another and you are in a great deal of pain dealing with her current situation.
The fact that she's in Bangladesh and you're here in the states make your situation difficult at best. I ask that you respect the tradition and wishes of her country and parents "for now"...Honor the rich history surrounding this event in which she has entered. You must allow her to move forward...yes...Move forward with this arrangement. No were in your message did you say that she was willing to forsake her family for the rest of her life. So given this absolute, I must assume that she loves you but isn't willing to go against the traditional cultural arrangement of her native land.
Please give this matter some time...You're both so young and I do know that you care for this young woman. I'm not sure of how long you've been in this country or if you're native to the US but one things for sure, know what it is that you're messing with here. You need to do some soul searching and grow some more...don't look at her situation as out dated or behind the times...for the tradition of Nikah has existed for centuries.
Give it time okay......and...If you truly love her, you MUST give her some room...that means stay away, no contact...Give her time to adjust to this arrangement. If she wants to be with you and only you, then she'll need to make the decision...Not YOU...but...make no mistake about it...Her family will disown her for her actions...So tread carefully through these murky waters my friend.
Good luck
2007-09-04 02:21:31 · answer #3 · answered by chowboss74 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you guys are in deep situation this is really bad, i feel bad for you guys. well i dont think you guys have any options, but if you guys really want each other you guys have to sacrifice something either familiy or either each other, its upto you, but if u cant live without each other than i say stand for your love, for your life and get marrie and enjoy life, take care and good luck.
2007-09-04 01:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by ray 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to stay 'married' to your family then do nothing, pal!
If you want to still abide to ancient & foreign customs while residing in the US - well that's your problem.
Ask some cleric of your own faith to give you a solution.
2007-09-04 02:15:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ever read "Romeo & Juliet?" Well, I wouldn't go THAT far. tell the family to goto hell and go get her dude.
2007-09-04 01:56:41 · answer #6 · answered by rumblecookie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pal you got problems where she.s married try going to miami you both my opion?
2007-09-04 02:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋