Can i be a friend to a married lady and nothing more?

Question

Am going through a divorce after a marriage of 1 year. Wife has remained separate for almost a year now and have no kids.

If nothing more i do feel a need to connect to the female species but am not ready for a relationship or any physical thing as am not divorced yet. Have joined certain activity class to de-stress myself where i meet a number of females. Many are eager to get to know me better (my assumption) at the same time i feel a certain girl(married) is eager to share about her personal life. Ofcourse i don't want anyone's emotional wreck as i have enough of mine. But is there a possibility of being just normal friends with her and nothing more or too much of emotional exchanges would mess up things? I admit i find myself quite vulnerable.

Thanks in anticipation of your answer.

Answer 1

Hello Protege,
I am very likely much older than you and you may not see things from my perspective. Please bear with me if you will and I will tell you what my years of living have taught me about your situation.
You say that you are not looking for a relationship....your divorce is not final yet.
It is human nature for people to want to be with other people. No man is an island as the old song goes.
I have been in your situation before and I know several people that have been there too. I believe you when you say that you would like to be just friends with this married lady but I can assure you without one ounce of doubt that you will be opening a can of worms.
Relationships that are started in the way that you speak of begin very innocently. You start out saying hello to each other as you pass by. Then that leads up to short chats that are just niceties, exchanging generalized conversation.
Then one day one or the other of you will notice that your "just" friend is having a bad day. Then comes the, "are you okay," line and after that the ball really begins to roll.
One might say, "it's okay. I don't want to dump my problems on you. You're such a good friend." Then the other feeling proud to be called a good griend says, "you won't be dumping your problems on me. That's what friends do....they help each other out when something is going wrong in their lives."
The next thing you know someone hugs someone and holds them in their arms and begins to tell them that everything will be just fine.
From there it's just a hop, skip and a jump to, " we are friends and friends watch the others back. As long as the two of us stick together nothing can bring us down."
Then begins the, "I've never known anyone that understands me like you do. I'm so glad that we found each other." Not long after that cames the kiss and now the "friendship" is over and after spending so much time and energy on each other, and being so vulnerable together, you find that you are in love with each other. Appropiate, albiet foolhardy, plans for your lives together begin to take shape. Before you know it you're married and after the vulnerability and problems from when you were just friends have been solved, you will find that those were the only things that you had in common and then begins the viscious cycle begins.
Trust me on this one, men and women cannot have platonic relationships. There are no "just friends" buddies between men and women. I know that a lot of people don't think the same way about this as I do but if I were you I would distance myself from said married lady as fast as I could back peddle. Try to remember your own words, "I admit I find myself quite vulnerable."
You're hurting and you really do desparately need someone in your life to help you get through this painful time. If you are a Christian but haven't been to church in years I would urge you to hightail it to the nearest church and speak with the pastor about arranging counceling sessions with you. Make the arrangements and don't miss a single session. The pastors are trained to council folks who are in painful situations.....of every kind. Please don't let vulnerability make you weak enough to fall into the "were just friends," trap.

Answer 2

Yes, it IS possible to be just friends with a married woman, but make sure there is no "alone time" between the two of you so that there are no mistaken messages being sent. If there is any talk of getting together for any reason, her husband should always be included.

Answer 3

Hey Protégé,,

It is entirely possible to be friends with a married woman !!
I am living proof it is completely possible. Whether anyone chooses to believe or not I couldn’t care less about,, my friendship is too important and not worth screwing up in any goofy supposed male/female bs.

Can you?? that is up to you,, you have already stated being “vulnerable” which is not a good sign.

Btw,, I’m probably “Older” than the poster who believes she’s older than you.

Answer 4

Oh, this is a good one. I have several male friends that are married and I single. At one point or time or another they have all hit on me. When men and women are friends it is inevitable for one or the other of them to develop romantic inclinations. If you are going to be a friend with a female make sure you set the rules up front and keep them clear with your friends of the opposite sex.

Answer 5

It is possible to befriend a married woman without any physical connection, but if you have any slight attraction to them....then you will eventually be wanting more than a plutonic status. I would see what happens. =]

Answer 6

I would say the chances are very slim that it would remain just a friendship.

Answer 7

No it's not possible. You will have lunch then dinner and before you know it your be tiring to get in her sweet pussy

Answer 8

sure you can be friends just don't cross over the boundary lines .. good luck

Answer 9

any thing possable pal but remer it takes.2. to tangle my opion?

Answer 10

sure why not?