My life has fallen apart. I dont know where and when it happened... but i know i need help.?

Question

ive gained weight
ive dated and lived with the wrong man
ive started a drinking problem
my family has fallen apart
i dont want to live like this anymore


all im asking for is some words of support... i know that no one on here is going to have the perfect solution to my problem... but i need a friend... i need ANYONE right now... im at the end of my rope

Answer 1

Welcome to the club. When I read your question I thought I was the one that wrote it.

Answer 2

I agree with everything that people have said here, but I'm going to add one thing that you can do to start feeling better about yourself right now... this week... guaranteed.

Do some type of Volunteer Work. It doesn't have to be a lot of time. So many places need volunteer help, that you can set your own hours. If you can only work between 6 PM and 8 PM on Thursdays, there is someplace that will gladly accept your help.

So why Volunteer Work? Because you will see people who are in much worse shape than you. There is nothing else you can do that will make you feel better about yourself, than helping someone less fortunate. Please just TRY it. I have NEVER heard anyone say that they regretted the time they spent helping others.

After a while, your self-esteem will begin to return. You will WANT to lose weight and stop drinking. You will be happier. Your family will want to be around you again. You will meet new people, ie nicer men (the right kind of men).

It's easy. It's free. It works! I have so much experience in this. I can almost guarantee it will work.

Your life has value. You are a good person. Read the answers you have received. These people truly care about you!

Call the United Way first thing tomorrow morning. Just do it!

Answer 3

It sounds like you have become very depressed, maybe because you have been with the wrong man. This has no doubt let to the weight gain and your drinking. I hope, if you have not already done so, you will remove yourself from your living situation. I think you are making a good start by understanding you have problems and wanting to do something about them. That is a big step and I congratulate you for that. Now you will have to start taking action which involves much work on your part and perhaps even getting help from a professional. None of this will be easy but you can do it if you keep focused on what you want to accomplish. I wish you the best, you can do it. If you ever want to talk about this send me a note, I can always talk to you when you feel down.

Answer 4

Time to take a deep breath. All these things are correctable, including the reduced self esteem you've developed. Few of us have had perfect lives. Like many of us, you can learn from your mistakes and emerge a better person.

If you suspect or fear you could be an alcoholic, you need to tackle that first, as a substance abuse problem blocks you from correcting everything else. Check out the AA website to help assess whether you're an alcoholic or just a social drinker.

Regardless, I highly recommend counseling to help you get your life on track. After a few weeks or months of counseling, I recommend you also add personal coaching to help you take concrete steps to correct these problems in the right direction.

In addition, you may benefit from some of the self-help books out there, either to gain insight, concretely change your attitude and behavior, or all of the above.

You can definitely turn your life around. Be sure to focus much of your energy not on self-loathing, but positive change. Best of luck to you. :-)

Answer 5

I'll see what I can do to help you get a perspective on what is going on.

If you are gaining weight, and if you think you have a drinking problem, it seems to me that you are using food and alchohol for management of your emotions. Food and alcohol are both false friends. We have all made mistakes in our lives, and many people have done what you are now doing.

You have dated and lived with the wrong man. The question is, what have you learned from it? That could be anything from "I have learned that I sabotage relationships with good men because I don't think I deserve one." to "I choose the wrong men because I don't deserve to be happy". Believe it or not, this is what women think--and do. Guys do it too.

The important thing is that you have recognized the areas in which your life has come off the rails, and you want to change.

I see what I can do about words of support. YOU ARE WORTHY OF HAPPINESS. YOU DESERVE TO BE JOYFUL.

You say that you are at the end of your rope. That means that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I do not know how you can find happiness and joy in your life, I only know that you deserve these things.

Specific strategies.
1. Talk to your doctor, and get checked out for depression. It is easily treatable in most cases.
2. Avoid negative people--including people who, with a good heart and the best of intentions, tell you that their circumstances are the same as yours and so they understand. Do not let them drag you down with their negative stuff.
3. Examine your spritual resources. I'm a Christian, but that does not mean that you necessarily are--or necessarily should be. Examine your own background--whether you are Jewish or Muslim or anything else--and take advantage of the wisdom on the ages within your own heritage.
4. Know that you have a right to be happy. God--whatever His name is--bids us all to be joyful.

Answer 6

Relax, Give us a little smile first, OK good then. Now, there are quite a number of us here that have regrets and fears. Some were and some still are in situations we'd like to be free of, I qualify there. And many have turned some things around, I've lost 60 lbs since Jan 1. The main thing you'll find here is quite a few listeners, so read the answers to your questions and find some one that qualifies in you mind to talk to. Good luck.

Answer 7

You know that all of this CAN be overcome. But only you can seek out the necessary help you need to get it done. There is always a church, a minister, some sort of person available for you to talk to. Feel free if you wish to contact me, I have been through it all, and I know that are better ways to live a life. You do however have a good start on helping you, you are reaching out for assistance. Just don't ever give up !!!

Answer 8

Take a long deep breath....you can't expect to have drastic changes all at once....tackle each of your concerns one at a time. So you have gained a little weight...watch your diet and increase you exercise. You have dated and lived with the wrong man....take some time for yourself and don't date anyone for awhile. Please don't under any circumstances allow your drinking to become a problem.....get that under control immediately. Your family has fallen apart....do what you can to get them back together...but understand that you are not responsible for their happiness. If you don't want to live like this anymore...then you have to decide to make a change with your life. It is the only way not to live like this. Best of luck to you....But I am willing to bet you can do it!!

Answer 9

I was where you are at just a few months ago.

I know this is such a cliche, but things really will get better for you if you don't give up.

I am still struggling with many issues, but I have alot of strength to deal with them now because the pressure that these various situations have brought on me.

If you would like to talk please email me. It's no fun being alone when you feel like the world is coming down on you.

Answer 10

These are the three words I offer you.
Hope to show you there's always tomorrow

Love to let you know you are never alone

Faith to give you the strength to carry on

We all get to where you are now & sometimes it just helps to know someone else is feeling pain yet surviving on these three simple words.

Whenever I reach the end of my rope I find the climb back up shorter if I remember the three words.
I hope you find solace in what I’ve said.

Answer 11

Please see your school counselor right away. The "Best Answer" you picked for an earlier question advised you to do the same thing and you didn't say whether you have tried that yet. You must reach out to professional adults who are there to help you. Tell the counselor that you need to find some program that can pair you up with someone you CAN lean on, like a "Big Sisters" program.