He has 3 children, divorced 1st wife from young marriage and lost 2nd wife to cancer. I've met the kids, his mother and lots of friends. They all say that he is a great guy and dad. He called me 4 times in one week to chat and I called him a couple of times. We met last weekend and seemed to hit it off. The children knew about me before I met them. He's very attracted to me and asked what my intentions were with having children and being married. He was worried that I would run when I met him b/c he has so much against him. Should I have any concerns with this one? I've never dated anyone with kids.
I do love kids and hope to have them and he's wants more with the right person. He works offshore 7 and 7 and his mother moves in when he's gone. From what I hear he's very open and responsible. It doesn't bother me that he's been married 2x. He's already told me that when he's home his time is spent with
2007-09-03 17:12:11 · 21 answers · asked by manhunt_kk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
his kids, so we will be doing a lot of things with them. They are 13,9 and 4.They are his life and keep him going. I think I'm just worried. It's a big jump and I know I will get attached to the kids.
2007-09-03 17:20:54 · update #1
With the various situations that couples face today, you might find someone with children. That cannot be the reason you reject someone, but I would definitely take time to get to know this person. I am surprised that his children knew about you first. As a woman and mother, I would not be telling my daughter about a man I just met. I'd wait ...but I guess men don't think like we do. If you are feeling good vibes - ok - but take it slow. How do you know he isn't just looking for wifey #3 to take care of the kids. Stick around, OBSERVE how he treats the kids, and his MOTHER . Enjoy times with 'each other' and not all the time should be spent with the kids. If he is really interested, he will take the time to really get to know you. Asking questions like your position on children, etc is okay - but I'd be wondering if his reasons were not somewhat selfish - take it slow. And good luck to you.
2007-09-03 17:24:42 · answer #1 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have some thinking to do! This, unfortunately, isn't a question that someone else can tell you answer to, as it has to be up to you in the end. Think about your own plans for having children, think about the fact that if you did become serious with him you would not only be a girlfriend but a potential motherfigure. You would always have to share him with his children. Do you have a best friend who knows you well? If so have a chat with that person. From what you write it sounds as though the man of interest is pretty open, so therefore he may also be open to hearing your concerns. Good luck.
2016-05-20 23:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would have to say take your time and be very careful. Being in a relationship with a man with three kids is quite different from one with no kids. Kids take up a lot of time and take away a lot of freedom. This guy may or may not be the one for you. The best advice I can say is take your time and access the situation very carefully. You also have to seriously take into consideration whether or not you want kids of your own. If you do, that will mean that you will have at least 4 or more kids to look after, which is a lot. At times one child can be handful. If you haven't done so already, pray about it. Invite God into your life and your relationship. I will keep you in my prayers. Peace and God bless.
2007-09-03 17:22:42 · answer #3 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots and lots of baggage here, but not necessarily a bad thing. Are any of the kids with his first wife? If not then you only have to worry about his mother. But take a long, long time to get to know all the ins and outs of his life and his mother and the kids. If the kids are from his deceased wife, they may not want someone trying to take her place, it could be a very sticky situation. Don't rush, I can't say this enough!!
2007-09-03 17:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kids show he is stable of some sort..and the second marriage didnt' end because of divorce so i would say give it a go...i mean at least play it out for a little bit and see where it takes you ya know...i hope all works out...if you have a female friend that has a couple of kids there is a guy that was going to date her what would you tell him......the kids will only hurt things if you let it...
2007-09-03 17:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by Travis S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like him go for it I hear so many people say that they won't date a person w/ kids I say thats dumb you might miss out on a really great relationship just because the thought of children has scared you off.
2007-09-03 17:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by Death Girl Am 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.if you can handle the whole meal here, then go for it. Just think about it long and hard...yes he does deserve a good life it seems, but do you want to deal with his ex..did he talk about his kids mom and does the rest of his family keep in close conact with her....The ex never goes away...my problem still exist after 11 yrs...just make sure this is what you want before you go all in ok...good luck
2007-09-03 17:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by truthgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you neglected to mention is that you like or love him.
Two past marriages are his past. The children seem to be his present responsibility. Are you willing to be the mom? Can you live without him for 7 days? Can the kids live with you?
These answers you must sort out before you picture yourself his wife. It does sound like you're smitten with him and I wish you well.
2007-09-03 17:19:40 · answer #8 · answered by Fixguy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From your description he sounds decent. I wouldn't jump into anything, though. You need to seriously evaluate what you want from a relationship so that no one gets hurt, including the children. If you decide you want to go for it, test the waters with the children because their reaction to you will ultimately make or break the relationship.
2007-09-03 20:33:14 · answer #9 · answered by missmuffin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a great guy who just happens to have three children. Since you love kids...I see no problem.....I would say GO FOR IT!
2007-09-03 17:20:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋