My husband goes out with friends to enjoy a night out at least three times a month. We have two children...I would like to get out too! It never happens!! I have expressed that it is not fair and now he lies to me and sneaks around to drink beer and have a good time. I love my family, I would much rather be home than out. I do not need to go to the bar and get wasted. Why do men??
2007-09-03 17:11:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have RARELY "gone out with the boys." I know that many men do, but not all.
From the time that I first noticed a difference between guys and girls, I have preferred the company of women. I may drink one drink if I go out to dinner, but I have NEVER been "wasted." I get "high" from spending time with my girlfriend.
I have absolutely no idea what the appeal is to getting drunk. While they're getting drunk, I'm getting laid. Go figure.
.
2007-09-03 17:32:43 · answer #1 · answered by NY Buzz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're right it's not fair and all it's doing is causing a riff between you two. All men don't do this. I know a few women who do. Why don't you suggest that you both go out together and make arrangements for a babysitter? Bad situations will happen if the both of you go out seperately and the marriage will deteriorate. Put your foot down and tell him how you feel. I have two kids and my wife and I usually go out together when we can but we both agree that family time is more valuable than a night in a smoky bar and sleezy singles on the prowl for a one nighter with anybody that will say hi to them.
2007-09-03 18:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by likewhoa88 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of men crave the company of the pack. They can play man games, posture, brag, belch and fart.
Often the gatherings aren't anything to be concerned about -- obviously I can't guess whether that's true about your husband, of course. After all, some of the gatherings are gangs of burglars and the like.
Men also sometimes need to get away from noisy kids, a wife who likes to talk, the TV -- and responsibility. If they don't do it often enough to leave the family without proper support and affection, it's not a thing to worry about either.
As for yourself, you probably need it too and you deserve it just as much.
It doesn't have to be bar hopping -- you could get into any of a thousand hobbies that involve a lot of socializing. Exercise, dance, any kind of craft lessons, writing groups -- my wife is into agility with one of our dogs, and she really gets a lot out of it. You could find a similar outlet.
Don't nag your husband about what he does, because you say he's lying now -- it's better not to create an opportunity for that to happen. Instead, tell him you accept a certain amount of innocent socializing, because, after all, you're going to have your own and it's only fair that he watches the kids those evenings.
Approach it as a partner working out a fair deal rather than as an aggrieved person demanding equal time, and it might turn out really good.
Good luck
2007-09-03 17:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I realized a long time ago I had no business drinking. That's me though. You should have a way to unwind as well and he needs to grow up and understand that the family life cuts out a little of the old single lifestyle as well as opens up some new shared responsibilities. Sorry to hear of the trouble you've had this weekend. Best wishes.
2007-09-03 17:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by duanehofner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally as a guy, I don't drink, so I don't go out and get wasted. I do go out now and then, but to me, it's not a big deal if I go out or not. I let my wife go out and have a girls night out, she's a stay at home mom and she deserves the time away.
Also personally I enjoy the time my wife and I have away from the kids when we can be alone, either going out to dinner, or just having time where we can sit together and cuddle. Those times when her and I have together means alot to me. But I also understand how important it is for her to get out and have time to herself.
2007-09-03 17:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by Bryan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married with two kids and am in the middle of my midlife crisis. Here is what I have to offer you and it might not be what you want to hear. I notice the guys that I work with use going out as an excuse to meet women. They of course are married and use it as an excuse to go out and at the least, flirt. I on the other hand stay at home and have to push my wife to go out and be with her girl friends. I have had my good times. I actually lived like a rock star, and it was GREAT. I know how lucky I am, maybe he needs to be shown how lucky he is to have you. Get someone to watch the kids and go out until late. I am not saying go out and get drunk or cheat. Just stay out late and make him wonder.
2007-09-03 17:26:28 · answer #6 · answered by Thadious 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-17 21:28:07 · answer #7 · answered by dunston 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men do not have the same outlook on all subjects as women. Whoever coined the phrase, :men and women are equal, was nuts and didn't know himself or women. You and he think different, and even if you agree on somethings, the value, out of 10 or 100 would be different for both of you. And not all men go out and get wasted. I don't. I can't drink. my stumach can't take it.
2007-09-03 17:38:30 · answer #8 · answered by reinformer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not right...you need to go out also. You need to have a date night with your husband or go out with the girls. Does he work long hours? Does he travel a lot? I do both... and work in the beer business, so my outlet is usually on the golf course and not in bars. It's easier if you can plan ahead and get it on his and your schedule/calendar.
2007-09-03 17:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by Niceguy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First not all men do this.
Second - His priorities seem to be messed up compared to yours. I think going out once in while is o.k but 3 times a month is excessive considering he is not going out with you at all ( it seems).
Finally - why not go out as couple with other couples ? Hanging around with singles sometimes leads to more trouble then good
2007-09-03 17:25:14 · answer #10 · answered by ensoman 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋