My husband and I have been separated for 4 months out of an 8 year marriage. We have 2 kids under 6. Thing is, we separated cause he thinks i cheated on him. There was a guys number in my phone and i admitted to calling him. Based on that, we were over. He moved first and took his name off the lease. I moved me and the kids,quit my good job,and have been in a whirlwind ever since.
I love him. Hes my best friend. When he calls to talk with the kids I keep my responses short and sweet. I don't want to keep reliving everything. Im trying to get over him but kids make things complicated.
He calls last week to say he wants to talk at a restaurant, just us alone. Also said that i need to prepare myself to make a decision regarding the kids. I dont think its custody b/c hes Army and thats not a good idea n id have them anyway. maybe its a child support plea? maybe he wants me back? I dont want to think that,i have to think the worse. the way i see it, bad news can be told@ the mc donalds
2007-09-03 15:01:48 · 16 answers · asked by fofsecrets 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he may be seeing someone and you need to prepare yourself for that. Something just don't sound right here. Any man who will leave his wife and kids over a phone call i think something else is going on with him or you.
2007-09-03 15:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he's the one that's doing the cheating but wanted to play the "victim" because then people would feel sorry for him. It's a terrible situation to find yourself in especially when you have kids. The kids didn't do anything wrong and saying that they make it complicated is a cop out. It's the adults that need to get their act together and sort this whole issue out before it gets ugly. If he wants you back, then you need to ask him that when you see him. Always ask those kind of questions face to face then you can see if he's lying or not. Watch his body language. Explain to him why you had the number in your phone, be open and honest with him and maybe he'll return the favour. If you find out that he's the one that has been cheating, then you know where you stand. I think you owe it to your children to build a safe and stable environment for them. Good Luck.
2007-09-09 09:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone calls you and leaves a message on your phone... at least you want to call them and tell them they got a wrong number so they won't keep calling and costing you money.
Your husband apparently has severe trust issues.
I would suggest getting into family counseling. I would also suggest getting some help from the base family services other than that. You might want to put in a call to them now to give them a "heads up".
I would not say that he is your best friend, given how quick he moved out and got himself off the lease. You need to keep your scopes up and look for manipulation.
As I remember, the other guys in his unit are higher in the pecking order than the wife is, and he is young, and will listen to all sorts of junk from them.
2007-09-03 22:23:22 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check it out, for some reason, you had another guys number in you phone, either you are board with what you have and you were thinking of trying something new, but before you get get the nerves to do it, you got busted. You never wanted to leave your husband, you just wanted to be BAD, just that one time and live with your secret. You were willing to live with the torment of knowing that you cheated, but since it supposedly didn't happen, you still loose, just for the mere fact that you were caught with another guys number. So, just think, how much did you hurt your husband, did he blow up in anger, did you see his hate at that moment. Did you see his distrust for you, If not, he's got you. You better move on with your life. The mere thought of weather or not you've been a bad girl again may rise again and you may be trapped.
So, much for a walk on the wild side. You at least gotta get off the porch.
2007-09-11 18:34:40 · answer #4 · answered by WOODSAK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am sorry to say that he could be semi-justified in feeling that you cheated on him. Military men are all paranoid like this. You probably wanted some emotional support or something that you were lacking from your husband and found it in the guy you were talking to. At the time, it felt harmless, but now you feel it wasn't worth it. He may want you and his family back to the way things used to be.
Four months away from the person you love most is torture for you, imagine how he feels when he is away on leave. Not taking his side just making the point. Maybe he healed over this time. He may feel that he over-reacted and wants to patch things up......I hope all goes well for you and your family.
2007-09-09 02:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by laqualla 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From a legal view, you need to tell him to tell his attorney to talk to your attorney. Alone is not a good place to be with a soon to be ex. All he has to say is you slept with him and boom, you have to start all over. Child support, custody, the whole thing. I wouldn't meet him. I would let the attorneys handle everything. Better safe than sorry. Don't try to reconcile just for convenience or the children. I did that. I ended up spending twice as much money on attorneys and wasting my time.
2007-09-10 16:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by Brooke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea if he wants you back. It sounds like HE was the one that was cheating ! I can not see anyone giving up an 8 year marriage over a phone call.
2007-09-11 13:04:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just meet him to talk about whatever it is he wants to talk about and stop trying to guess what he is thinking.
Sounds like he was ready to leave before he found the number in your phone- that just gave him an excuse.
Bad news can be told anywhere, yes, but public is always better if you are trying to avoid being intimate or creating a scene.
2007-09-11 15:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by EazyBreezy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you have another guy's number on your phone? If the situation had been in reverse, you would have felt the same way and probably left him, so you have to look at the situation from his point of view. I wouldn't count on him asking you back unless he is a forgiving person and is trying to work things out for the kids. -Good luck and God Bless.
2007-09-10 14:06:35 · answer #9 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
personally i would want to know what he had to say its always best to know what is going on so if u need to get an attorney u can. u can only avoid it so long what ever it is is will come out anyway so meet him find out what its about. its easy to think the worst when something like this has happened, but find out where he's at so u can prepare or protect yourself.
2007-09-04 06:49:44 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋