my wife is bi and has a gf on the net that she chats with. This woman is planning to move near us. We have two girls and we are both living with disabilities. We live with my wife's disabled dad who controls everything.. He disapproves of her behavior and has threatened to cut the cable for the net....(my wife and i pay for it) He has turned her family against her.. her sister who is holy roller has condemned us to hell for this. This sister own the house we live in, and told us today that we can't us the computer for this sinful thing. What is your reaction?
Just for your information my wife is bipolar and her therapist wants her to make moves that are made by my wife. Rational therapy.
2007-09-03 14:44:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
First I gotta give you a shout out for being from Hawai'i....I used to live in Kailua...just remember you're lucky to live in such a peaceful and beautiful place, despite the turmoil :) I'm sorry about the difficult situation. I'm not an expert, but I know there is a lot going on (kids, disability, living situation, family interference, finances, mental disorder) and I'm sure your wife is using "outside" escape routes by being with another woman...maybe it's a blessing in disguise that her relationship with another woman is being forced into an end, although I don't believe in sinful crap and everyone is entitled to do what they wish with their body and love life, do you think the other woman will in any way benefit your situation?
I read your blog and I know you're feeling neglected also. It's great that she's getting professional help, maybe you can include marriage therapy and concentrate on her bipolar disorder, your kids and try to minimize the outside "distractions/escapes" that will ultimately be more self-destructive than helpful? What you need is stability, not more complications and people involved.
I wish you all the best :)
PS: We all feel unloved and neglected sometimes...even the most attractive people...so don't feel alone.
2007-09-03 14:59:19 · answer #1 · answered by Lioness 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Tell your father in law to butt out of your affairs, and the so called holy roller has a point. If you aren't a Christian she cannot correct nor reject you as you do not know the way of the Christ. If you are paying lip service to the Christ then it doesn't matter what your sister in law says now does it?
She cannot make you do anything that you don't want to do, as for what sins you commit she has no control over.
However. This affair your wife is having is wrong! Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it!
You put a stop to it or put an end to your marriage because she is failing her marriage and you are going to be in a lot of emotional upheavals come the future.
If you go along with this menage a trios then you can expect crap on a stick shoved into your face for the rest of your relationship with your wife. Bisexual is a dangerous thing. Adultery is just as bad, but a bisexual adultery is just crying out for pain.
Your wife's therapist is a donkey's bum hole!!!! Where the hell did that idiot get it's degree??????
2007-09-03 18:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by the old dog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure I understand the question. Do NOT move in with this other woman - it will turn into a mess and very possibly destroy your marriage. You need to get away from your controlling inlaws. There are plenty of people with bipolar disorder who have fulltime jobs. Your wife needs to take her meds as prescribed (non-compliance being a huge problem for these patients). If you are both disabled with children then why can't you apply for subsidised housing or co-op housing? Your family should make it to the top of the waiting list right away. I am also disabled - families such as yours take priority.
Good luck.
2007-09-03 15:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
For me, the concept was literally inborn, because I have an identical twin sister. It was always 'us' and never 'me'. On a bigger scale, a vital clue is in Genesis 1 where God says, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness." If our Creator is more complex than just one person, then His creation is going to have the concept of 'us' interwoven into the very fabric of life. The Christian doctrine of the Trinity puts it as the one Being of God subsisting in the three persons of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and the Bible shows all three were vitally involved in creation. There is the pre-history 'us'! It also makes sense when we try to grasp the biblical concept that God is love. If God was utterly alone before any creation started, He could only love Himself - which is narcissistic. But if two other Persons shared His Godhood, then that love was eternally flowing between the three uncreated creators, who are the one God, the one Creator of Genesis - the one Creator who is 'us'.
2016-05-20 22:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by glynda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a tough situation. You're probably not going to find lasting happiness in a menage with two women, fun as that may sound in theory. On the other hand, it can't be too much fun to live with Jesus and the Holy Rollers in your house.
I think maybe you two are old enough to live on your own...
2007-09-03 15:37:02 · answer #5 · answered by Steve-O 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have an idea - what if you move in with your wife's online GF once she moves close? That would solve the problem of having to deal with your controlling father-in-law and your irrational sister-in-law. Neither of them have any right to tell you what you can do with your own computer, or the net service you pay for. Bring up the idea with the GF, along with the difficulty you are in, and see if she would be willing to share house.
2007-09-03 15:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I understand maybe better than most what your wife is going through...as someone who has delt with mental illness. It is a hard, tough place for her and her family. My heart goes out to you, and your girls. However I must ask...how do you feel about your wife seeing someone else regaurdless of gender? I for one (if I was married) would not not like, or want my wife to be shared (sexually) with anyone.
In terms of your family....I think they love and care for you all....they just are going about it the wrong way. They don't know how to accept, or deal with whats going on, and they resort to tough love.
God's word (the bible) gives us a clear understanding of what's right and wrong. I don't need to tell you...sounds like you already know.
As for what your wife's therapist says she needs to do...she needs to look at her life and realize that she makes choices not only for herself but choices that affect all of you.
Again my heart goes out to you all.
2007-09-03 20:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by empoweredman787 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are dependant on your wife's family, then I suggest you comply with their rules.
If you want the freedom you complain you are losing, then buck up and support yourselves. That would make rational therapy sense for the both of you.
I feel sorry for your daughters. They are being influenced from one extreme to the other.
2007-09-03 15:22:24 · answer #8 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If your wife is bi-sexual, I feel sorry for you. And this "holy roller" is on the right track, that behavior goes against what God created her for, certainly not to be with a woman, and definately not if she's married.
It sounds to me like your whole family needs therapy, you and your wife and those poor children who must be very confused. I suggest all of you get your acts together, grow up, and begin to think of those kids instead of being selfish.
I don't understand your last sentence regarding the therapist. If she is telling your bipolar wife to do these actions, get another therapist...fast!
2007-09-03 14:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 2⤊ 7⤋
Your wife is bipolar and bisexual? Watch out, or she'll become a bigamist too.
2007-09-03 16:51:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋