2007-09-03 14:00:04 · 9 answers · asked by jhrly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. that has to be really tough ( but im sure you know that)
You have to be able to appreciate the years of love that you had and not regret them.
You may not be ready to move on. But i would surround myself with my friends and try to keep myself busy. Don't blame yourself and don't blame her. Theres 2 ppl in a marriage so it cant be just be one person's fault. For me, whenever im having a tough time, i write down my feelings, whatever im feeling i just write it down, it really helps.
Good luck, im sorry it didnt last forever, but im sure you will find happiness.
( & remember, dont tell ppl. that it didnt work out, b/c it did work out for 31 years, just not for the last few)
2007-09-03 14:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by JulyFire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the best you can be. What a trauma. If you are asking I'm assuming you weren't abusive so I will add that counseling does a lot for re-newed self esteem. Find out if complacency made you unaware of your wife's dissatisfaction. Were you involved or did you work more and give less at home. Were you in touch with everyone's feelings and needs? There is so much involved in a marriage. Constant discussion about needs and wants are important. Honesty about who you are and who you want to be are also important issues to be discussed. They change over the years. If you lost all of this or didn't pay attention to it you now have to face what you didn't do. Now get counseling to find out how to do it right the next time around because there will be one. Stay in touch with your children and try to deal with your ex the best you can. Keep focused to try to be a better man all the way around. Learn from your past. You will move forward and you can show a better face to your family even though you have divorced. You have the choice to move ahead. Find the counselor who can help you do it.
2007-09-03 21:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have spent a good bit of your life being married, so that is the lifestyle you are used to.
Whether you were the instigator of the breakup or not, you will feel a strong sense of loss and grief.But you will grow accustomed to the new manner of living, and may grow to love being single, just as I have. (Was married 30 years)
Now, don't go all wild like I did and try to make up for lost time by partying and indulging in silly and destructive relationships. That only leads to pain and ruins lives.
You will be fine. There are many kinds of ways to find happiness and contentment. Go with the flow.
2007-09-03 21:18:09 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm.... im 21 and ive been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years,when i think of breaking up its like i cant breath,but u know sometimes people get so much hurt that they really wanto just end it up ANYWAY without thinking of the years or memories they have been sharing.
ok,u have to know with or without ur partner u are certainely alive and u CAN live ur life maybe even happier ever after.
u have to believe in love and dont think this is the end,smile and who know? u might meet ur ideal partner just tomorrow while passing the street.and dont think if u have failed once its like u cant trust again.Confide in love,Even if u dont wanto have a partner after all try not to be alone,find some new friends who dont just talk about u did wrong or right,go to the gym,go for nice walks in the morning,eat healthy and if really needed see a psychologist,but dont get used to the god damn lorazepam pills,i know how it feels.
2007-09-03 21:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be so hard & painful to deal with & all i can say is to grieve for it & keep yourself very very busy & even join a sports club if you can & go for a daily jog or a very fast walk to get rid of stress (push bike clubs are good because you only have to be able to ride & not fast ) because they always have some thing happening & they even have camps
join a nice church maybe or do volunteer work because that will help you as well while you are helping others
& apart from all that its just time that will heal so good luck to you & *HUGS* to you :)
2007-09-03 21:12:09 · answer #5 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the death of such a long marriage always hurts, and there is no way to deal with it easily, takes alot of time and even then the pain sometimes remains for a long time. get some spiritual therapy, get god in your life, as this is one of the hardest things u will ever encounter. acceptance is the first step, face reality, and don't blame yourself for it.
2007-09-04 07:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be good to yourself and do well! That is the best revenge-honestly-be happy-you have your whole life ahead of you!
2007-09-03 21:06:26 · answer #7 · answered by joni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
add details please, it's the end of a marriage not the end of a life
2007-09-03 21:06:16 · answer #8 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont know, it hasnt happened to me yet
2007-09-03 21:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by Boxer Lover 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋