How can someone lose their way?

Question

"When I was half way along the journey of our life I found myself in a shadowed forest for I had lost the path that does not stray."

This is the opening line from Inferno by Dante. beyond being a great opening line it also brings up an interesting question, how does someone lose their way?

I am not referring to a religious (as in the Inferno) or specific situation but just in general, how can someone lose their way, become wrapped up in things that they ordinarily would never consider, do things that they would normally never do?

So my question is, how can someone lose their way an once lost how can they find themselves and their way again?

Please explain your reasoning.

Thanks.

Answer 1

I'm a recovering alcaholic. I've been sober since April 18th 2004. I lost my way, with my alcahol. Through all the pain and suffering I went through, and those who surrounded me, I lost my way. I was on a path that I didn't recognize, but had no hope to go any other path than that of alcahol and what came with it. The way I found it was hope. All I had left was hope, and without that I would of found the path to my grave. WIth the little bit of hope I had, it helped me to grow the fight, love, faith, and will to change my path. Through that I was succesful on my journey, and as time went on, It didn't get easier, but I got stronger. You can loose your way. Its not what you have done, but what your doing, that people should see. I have the strength now, not only to face life, but to go back down that road if I have to. Not for me, but for one who is where I've been. I will reach out, give them my hand, and maybe, they too will receive a little bit of hope.

Answer 2

In my mind, it's all about gradual change that most people don't even notice. It's a lot easier to lose your way slowly over a long period of time than it is to fall hard all of a sudden. I have found that a lot of the people I've met who really "know their way" have had some traumatic life experience that catapulted them back onto the right track.

I think that most people who lose their way have slight little cracks in their character that don't really seem that bad. Over time, they compromise tiny little things about themselves which nobody including themselves really notices. These things build and build over time until one day, looking back on their lives they realize they lost their way. The real point at which they lost their way is the point when they made that first tiny compromise about themself. At that point the new way and "their way" were different but still so close as to be indistinguishable to almost anyone. Gradually the paths widened but without any real time to reflect and honest self-evaluation the increasing gap still went unnoticed.

Now how do they get back again? If I really had a good answer to that I'd write a self help book and go on a speaking tour. I suppose it can be done in a dramatic way, with an all at once jump but the realization of how far gone you are must be pretty traumatic to motivate that sort of change. There are plenty of people who would offer religious solutions. These certainly could work but I don't want to advocate any particular position as I have little positive experience with religious change and I think religion is something that should be chosen, not recommended or sold. Changing yourself for the better can be much harder than changing yourself for the worse. I think it is much better to stay on track through brutally honest self-evaluation. I think this is actually done best with the help of someone else, as most people have an amazing ability to lie to themselves.

Answer 3

This is "The Dark Night of the Soul". (Saint John of the Cross) There are several excellent books on the topic but I like Saint Teresa's analogy to the silk worm spinning its own cocoon and in order to emerge as a Butterfly. I know it does not quite feel that tranquil when you are in the middle of it. It seemed to me while in this dark period even the virtues that I had developed were identified by others as weaknesses and exploited for their own gain. Ultimately it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I learned that all of the thousands of decisions that I made in my life and thought were good decisions added up to nearly total destruction. Emerging from this experience I was resolute that from that moment forward it would be God's will not my will that would be done in my life. As Teresa promised I was a worm and am now a butterfly.

Answer 4

Patience - Without it we are lost. With it we may still feel a bit squirly but with patience we will always feel grounded in the knowledge that we can wait issues out and see where things lead us. Life is a humongous experiment whereby you can feel different every hour. Today you feel lost. Tomorrow you feel whole. The next day something comes along and tests your confidence. Patience. Being of good character is a way to help keep yourself grounded - a goal that can always be aspired to no matter how you are feeling.

Answer 5

Most people begin to lose their way with the onset of puberty ... and those hormones strike a second time for both men and women in their middle years... for women they call it menopause and make a big deal out of it, for men they call it a mid-life crisis and make a big deal out of it. In fact teens are made a big deal out of, too.

My 'argument' is that physical changes cause psychological ones for average people... changes they can dip in and out of unless they run away, get a divorce and etc.

They find their way back only if they really want to or really need to and if they are even welcomed back. Life can be a real roller coaster sometimes... we can scream but we still lose our way from time to time, and sometimes never get back. I think people are meant to lose their way fairly often, really. Otherwise they don't grow in mind or soul, nor learn empathy and compassion.

Answer 6

I think you lose your way when you give up on yourself. We tend to follow our hearts and minds. When we stop believing in ourselves we'll either follow anyone or wander aimlessly.

One way to find our way again is to regain that confidence we once had by remembering that we're worth something and have special gifts to offer.

Answer 7

Because our personalities are changeable. Nobody has the exact same view on the world at 80 that they did at 16.

Answer 8

the easiest way to get lost is to let go of part of your self, and given the experiences and influences you have wile off the path would make it imposable to get back to the exact point of there departing the path.

Answer 9

You lose your way when you lose hope and confidence. The journey sometime feels to hard to bear.

Answer 10

you lose your way when you fail to see your destination, when you lose sight of what you want to do, what you want to accomplish, where you want to go, because then it would mean that you're heavily distracted and that you need to re-focus. it might sound simplistic, but you find your way again if you learn to accept that you need to take things slowly