How can I get custody of my kids from a mother who has hardly anything to do with the kids?

Question

I have joint custody now. When the kids aren't with me they are with her mother. I have them 2 weeks a month and her mom keeps them the rest of the time. Thier mom come and gets them from time to time, mostly just for the day and takes them back to her moms. I have tried to get them through the courts, but her mom and dad lies for her and says that she keeps them because they don't want to give the kids up. This has been going on for 4 1/2 years now. My twin sons are now 5. She smacks them in the mouth,lets them smoke from time to time, beets them with a belt (can't never find bruises or marks). Those are just a few thing that the kids have admitted to me and socail services. I can't seem to get anywhere with my case. Everytime court comes into play the mother starts coming back around and acting like she has always been there, day in and out, and starts playing head games with the kids. Anyone having any sugestions or answers, sneaky or not, please help. Thanks, from a desperate dad.

ok here's the deal. i am this man's wife and i read were someone called him vindictave. let me clarify some things. first of all her mother said that she (the ex-wife) did has given them a ciggerette because the kids stressed her out and kept asking for one. social services said that it was just a bad decision on her part. her mother admitted that the ex smacks them in the mouth, but not "real hard" being that they didn't have bruises we couldn't do anything. her parents got it in there head that they could get custody and told everything, when he filed for custody she recanted her whole story to social services. when she found out that we were getting married she worte him love letters, she still tells me to get out of the picture, even though she remarried herself. she keeps her step-children all the time and her new baby, but not my husbands twins. we try not to talk about the situation with the kids but they come and tell us that mommy and mamaw are telling them things.

about what is going on in court. They have to say things in order to get candy from mommy. my husband has tried everything. he was paying her child support while we kept them all the time. the lawyers put a stop to that. we tried to tell the grandparents that they would still be a part of the kids life, but they said they wanted the same rights as the parents, and unless they got to make decisions concerning school, and activities that the kids do they will continue to lie. they stalk us, have called police to our house, made up stories on us, and it all boils down to the same thing. when her and her husband are fighting she tells my husband he can end it all by getting back with her. she wants both men. she has also been in and out of rehab for drugs, but we can't get those records, her lawyer said no. she can't even tell you what size clothes the kids were she puts them in shoes that are to big and clothes that are too small. so my husband is far from vindictive trust me.

Answer 1

You got a hard situation here but not really impossible. Theres probably not much new I can tellyou on here but you are definitely going to have to prove to the courts that she should be ruled unfit. Thats not going to be easy especially when she seems to know how to play the courts. If money is no object, hiring a PI might be an option otherwise you may just have to be patient and wait for her to make a fatal mistake or at least let her know youre watching her every move.Maybe she will break under the pressure. I wish you all the best here as youll need it.

Answer 2

How big is your support network from your mum , dad , aunt's , uncles , cousins , brother's , sister's , friend's?.

Legally until the twins are 13 they cant speak in a court of law to tell a judge the truth which is sickening , all I can suggest is try and move your visitations to more then your having right now work it around your work hour's show the court's your willing to be there for them then when they turn 13 set them up in front of the judge and let them speak , you'd be surprised what come's out of 13 year old boy's mouth's once they work out mum played em for her own fun and satisfaction.

Either that or you go get a better lawyer and fight harder seppina child services record's to use against her as well.get a friend to follow your ex with a video camera and digital camera make sure they are time stamped and dated , do this for 2 months to prove she is spending little or no time with them.

I really dont know what else to suggest , this really sucks when kid's are used as pawn's.She obviously doesnt want them so she doesnt deserve them period.

Answer 3

Oh my goodness sweetie, I wish I had an answer for you.

For some crazy reason the courts like to side with the mother, no matter how horrible she is. FIVE years old and she lets them smoke?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! That is ridiculous!!!!

My husband recently went through a huge custody ordeal with his ex. She rarely watches their daughter....she drops her to family members the majority of the time when it's 'her' time to watch her.

The court gave my husband sole custody for about a week....then she hired a lawyer and started actually getting involved in their daughter's life....so it went back to her being the 'primary' parent. They were going back and forth through court until they finally settled OUTSIDE of court and are Co-parenting.

It's a sad, sad situation, and I really hope you get better results. Just don't expect this to be easy. You're going to have to fight A LOT. Hire a good lawyer, and document EVERYTHING!!!!!

Good luck!!!!

Answer 4

hire a private detective you can file an order of protecion against her through the courts and bring dss with you and let them testify on your behalf, its very hard to have your 5 year olds testify in a family court because the court is there to protect them you could also ask the court ato appoint a guardian ad litem for your kids and ask the court to check out her home make surprise visits other then that get a lawyer and take her to court and sue for full custody.

Answer 5

I don't know whether you are exaggerating or not but you should be keeping a notebook with dates, times, photos of bruises. If you have never seen any bruises, I am not sure I believe your story. 5 year olds will make up stories. Do your best to get the facts and see if there is enough to get full custody.

Answer 6

You need to tell your sons to tell the truth when they talk to Social Services. If she beats them with a belt, there would be marks. You may have to wait until the boys are older so if they are being abused they will tell the courts what is going on. You have a hard fight if her parents are backing her up though.

Answer 7

If you can afford one, hire a private detective to follow HER when the kids are supposed to be with her instead of her parents. Proof that she is not providing the care MIGHT get you full custody. Have you talked with her parents? They might agree to testify IF they feel you will allow them access to the kids freely. Many grandparents are very easy to deal with if they feel they are welcome to see the kids or have them over whenever they want and it is convenient to you. Frankly, I would have worked on the relationship with her Mom before worrying about her. You might find some very cooperative grandparents if they feel wanted rather than have to take care of the kids for her.

Answer 8

You are not a desperate dad you are a vindictive dad. Your children are 5 YEARS OLD and you are playing mind games with them to fulfil your own selfish needs.

You only want your children so you can be one up on your ex wife and her parents.

"Smacks them in the mouth, lets them smoke from time to time".

What a load of rubbish!

If you had any evidence whatsoever you would have found it by now and you would have custody no doubt about that.

Stop fishing where there ain't none.