Is this situation too young to marry?

Question

I know a couple that have known each other since last December. They started 'seeing' each other in about the end of Jan-Feb. It's nothing but great, and both of them can't see their lives without the other. For example; Kids? They can only see the other raising them too. They are both very mature people in their own ways(they have gone through a lot of things, respectively), and the future for both look startlingly bright, even counting if they went through with a marriage or even 'promise rings'. I'm perfectly confident that they can handle themselves in a higher relationship, but some others that have seen this do not think so. The older turned 19 today, and the younger is around 17 1/2, with a May birthday.

Even while knowing that they are basically already so committed to each other in probably the most mature relationship I've ever seen, I'm going to ask; do you think it is too young?

Answer 1

I wouldn't necessarily say too young, but too soon. No matter how in love with someone you are, things change. What is the hurry of getting married? Even if you think they will be together forever, it would be a lot worse to end up getting divorced then it would be breaking up. If they really love each other they should spend some more time together before getting married. When you live with someone for a long time, sometimes you start to have different feeling, no matter how strong the love was to start out with. If two people are going to spend the rest of their lives together, does it really matter if they get married at 17 or 20 or 45, as long as they are together they will be happy. I would advise them to give it time, get engaged, and wait until the younger one is 21 or so maybe, hey at least they'd be able to drink at their own wedding :)

I wish them luck.

Answer 2

It sounds like they are off to a good start, but why rush into a marriage. If they are as committed and mature as you say, then why is there a need to rush to the alter. A mature person would realize that a marriage certificate isn't what guarantees a couple will stay together forever, it is their bond to each other that does that. I do believe in marriage. I have been married almost 9 years now, but I waited until my mid 20's to do it, just for my own piece of mind. I wanted to make sure this was where i wanted to be forever and at 17 and 19, you're not even sure how the world works just yet. Even if they are mature for their ages, I think they should experience more life before committing to marriage. But as I said before, it sounds like they are off to a good start towards a life together.

Answer 3

i think it is too young, the only way you would be sure that it is not too young, is if they make it to the one year, two year, three year mark. also, do they live together? i doubt it, and at that age they would probably find it very difficult, but that is what marriage would be like, full time.

So i think if the two are very serious, and truly committed, they should not be trying to rush things, they should both want each other to enjoy their younger years, instead of tying them up with mortgages, full time jobs, and kids etc. They should be happy to be in each others company. Then maybe in a year or so, maybe they should try living together for awhile. and if that goes good for a year or two, then they should considert he lifelong commitment of marriage and kids. Because I am positive most parents who made a child out of love didnt think they were gonna split and go seperate ways in a few years. so these two should really think it through before doing something such as having a child and then them probably splitting and the child being brought up in a way that could have been alot better.

Answer 4

Only they can answer that question. My two friends dated in HS and married when they graduated. They have 3 kids and have been married for 12 years. It all depends on the person. Marriage is not easy and its a give and take between both parties. I married when I was 23 and I have been married 7 years in May. I think the best thing for them would be to wait to get married. maybe trying living together first so they know what they are getting into. You may think that you know everything about a person, but you learn alot more when living with the person. You will find things that will annoy you and then you decide whether you can live with it or not. I wish them both the best!

Answer 5

As long as they're willing to wait for the younger one to reach adulthood I don't see the problem. Maturity doesn't always have anything to do with age, but it does definitely help to at least have reached the "adult" milestone in life.aren't
I'm also shocked at the number of people on here who cited finances as a reason not to get married. It helps to be secure before you get married, but if you wait your whole life for everything to be just right, you'll never get married. Some of the happiest people I know don't have much. Money is only a cause for divorce if you allow it to become one. I do recommend having the basics worked out first, but where there's a will there's a way. If they really want the marriage to work, they'll make it happen. It definitely won't be easy, but it can work.

Answer 6

I married my ex-husband when I was 17 1/2 and he was 19. We were not pregnant but were living together. We got pregnant with our first 2 months after we were married. It was hard on us to do everyday things because of our age. Once we grew a little, we grew apart. I did not love him like I thought I did when I was a teen and found that my needs had grown past what he could give. We divorced 8 years later. We get alone fine now after a very nasty divorce. He still loved me and didn't want to let go. I couldn't see him in the old way anymore and needed to be with someone who could fulfill my needs. I am remarried now to a wonderful man that I DO SEE MYSELF GROWING OLD WITH! He is kind and sweet and listens when I talk to him instead of pretending to be too busy. My husband is my soul mate. Although I got 3 beautiful kids from my ex, I do believe we married too early. We should have waited to start our family life until we had gone to school, started a career path, and found our nitch in life. If my ex and I would have waited, maybe we would not have had to go through a nasty divorce once we grew up.

On another note...
You can't help love. You can't even prevent it. You have to understand their need to be together and be supportive of it. If they decide to get married, be supportive. Pushing against it may have the outcome of a speedy marriage at the courthouse by a judge instead of the fairytale wedding I'm sure she is dreaming about. Everyone is different. I know of a couple married for 55 years that got married at 17 and 18. They still can't live without eachother. Let nature take it's course. If it doesn't work out like they planned, then let the lesson be learned.

Answer 7

No one has the right to judge what is too young. If happiness is them together, than no, it's not too young. Most people don't know what they want untill later but not everyone is the same.

I know a couple who is in their 30's and just a bit older than me who is so crazy in love together and they've been together since they were both 17. Love is a random and really powerful thing. No one should ever put down someone elses feeling or desire to commit.

Answer 8

There are a few reasons why teen marriages aren't the best:

-You don't really get to know yourself and what you want to do in life.
-You don't get a chance to meet different people and see who you really want in a mate for life.
-If you marry in your teen years, you are three times as likely to divorce if you would have waited till you where 20 to 24.

The odds for a successful teen marriage are not the greatest. The teens usually feel unhappy because they aren't children and they aren't adults. So in result they blame their unhappiness on each other.

The key word here is lifetime, and that's a very long time, making the commitment a very serious decision. For teens, romantic relationships can begin and get serious very quickly. We think they will last forever. But they rarely do. Many people enjoy being in a relationship, but that doesn't mean that it's going to last forever, or that it should.

So take a deep breath, and put those wedding or alternative wedding plans on hold. "Singlehood" is another alternative to marriage and one with a lot of benefits, too! Being single is not only normal, it can be healthy and empowering. And before you enter any relationship, short- or long-term, you need to be happy with yourself!

Whether you're single, dating, or seeing someone exclusively, the most important thing is being secure with your status. Slow down. Enjoy! Just as there are no hard and fast rules for love, there are no guidelines or timelines when it comes to getting married.

Cheers! :)

Answer 9

Age is a huge factor when it comes to forming relationships. Think about 40 years ago, nobody would bat a eye if two teenagers got married. But nowadays it's looked down upon.....

The only true answer to this question lies in the hands of the two involved in the relationship. You say they've been through a lot in there respective lifes, then nobody can tell them what to do. Life is a great big school lesson...you won't learn unless you attend class.

Answer 10

I am 23 right now I meet my husband at the age of 13 and he was 18. If you can do your math correctly that makes it ten years since we meet and we have been datong since 2 weeks after we meet. I waited 5 and a half years to get married but spent 4 of them engaged We have now been married for almost 4 and a half years and yes I would have married him alot earlier had age permitted it. What I am trying to say is that age doesn't amount to anything it love and devotion that makes a marriage if they are happy and the have good heads on their shoulders I don't see why there marriage wouldn't work. I wish them the best of luck and many years of happiness